# $1.5M Russian SUV Features Diamonds, Whale Penis Leather (Dartz) **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Automotive\ **Created:** [October 14, 2009, 10:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837 "2009-10-14T10:29:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![theblue](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/theblue/32/5074_2.png) [@theblue](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/theblue)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/1 "2009-10-14T10:29:02Z")
> **[$1.5M Russian SUV Features Diamonds, Whale Penis Leather](https://jalopnik.com/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leathe-5380680)** > > Whale penis leather interior. That's all you really need to know about the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale... > Whale penis leather interior. That’s all you really need to know about the $1.5 million [Dartz Prombron](http://jalopnik.com/tag/dartz-prombron/) Monaco [Red Diamond](http://jalopnik.com/tag/red-diamond/) Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale penis leather interior. The already bulletproof and wildly over-the-top 8.1 liter GM V8-powered [Dartz Kombat T98](http://jalopnik.com/tag/dartz-kombat-t98/) is getting a name change to Prombron and along with it will come a complete and brain-maimingly bourgeoisie upgrade with the [Monaco Red Diamond Edition](http://jalopnik.com/tag/monaco-red-diamond-edition/). The world’s most expensive ultra-luxury SUV will debut at the 2010 Top Marques Monaco show with luxe features crazy enough to make a Maybach blush. For your $1.5 million you get the following features: > **1. Ruby Red matte paint > 2. Gold-plated bulletproof windows > 3. 22" Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels > 4. Whale Penis Leather interior > 5. Tungsten exhaust > 6. Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies > 7. White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges - grill, side and dashboard > 8. Special edition Vertu mobile phone with “alert” button > 9. Additional outside kevlar coating > 10. Rogue Acoustic Audio System.** > And, of course, of course - > THREE BOTTLES OF World Most Expensive Vodka - RussoBaltique Vodka, drink edition, same as in the RussoBaltique car when it visited Monaco at 1912. > We have a lot of questions about this car, most of them whale penis leather-related, but in the bigger picture, this brazen finger-in-the-eye raises a good point, so to speak. What makes a luxury vehicle? Things we used to think of as luxury - bovine leather, wood trim, high-end audio, etc., have become mainstream. Does it take exceptionally ridiculous material selection and bold ostentatious flair to define new luxury? Is it encapsulating yourself in a vehicle capable of taking a direct hit from a rocket propelled grenade? Does it mean emulating the wild excess of past luxury much like the Red Diamond is doing? Who knows. But we’re betting the tzars would roll in one of these babies. ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:34am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/2 "2009-10-14T10:34:15Z")
![http://downlowflow.com/external/xanga/pics/2006_12_12-Random_Pics/ballin.jpg](http://downlowflow.com/external/xanga/pics/2006_12_12-Random_Pics/ballin.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Motocrossx23](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/motocrossx23/32/5120_2.png) [@Motocrossx23](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Motocrossx23)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:35am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/3 "2009-10-14T10:35:17Z")
Dumb. ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:35am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/4 "2009-10-14T10:35:43Z")
22s? shit’s weak ---
**Author:** ![glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@glitch](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/glitch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/5 "2009-10-14T10:38:14Z")
If I was black I’d probably like it… ---
**Author:** ![Coldaccord](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/coldaccord/32/7272_2.png) [@Coldaccord](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Coldaccord)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/6 "2009-10-14T10:41:16Z")
lol Q. “How do you circumcise a whale?” A. “Send down four skin-divers” ---
**Author:** ![nopistons91](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@nopistons91](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/nopistons91)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/7 "2009-10-14T10:54:45Z")
> [@Geehee](#): > lol i just lauged my ass off! ---
**Author:** ![OfficerK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4da419/32.png) [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 10:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/8 "2009-10-14T10:59:39Z")
This thing screams “I Love Penis!” ---
**Author:** ![dreid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dreid/32/7388_2.png) [@dreid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/dreid)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 11:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/9 "2009-10-14T11:00:47Z")
> [@glitch](#): > > If I was black I’d probably like it… :picard: The 22s is mad weaksauce tho ---
**Author:** ![jt76](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jt76/32/5100_2.png) [@jt76](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jt76)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 11:03am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/10 "2009-10-14T11:03:51Z")
LSX powered? win. ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 11:21am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/11 "2009-10-14T11:21:54Z")
Whale penis leather? Well, that’s it. The only way left to one-up that is to have skin that was grafted off of Angelina Jolie’s ass grown in a lab into seat upholstery. ---
**Author:** ![glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@glitch](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/glitch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 11:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/12 "2009-10-14T11:22:33Z")
> [@dreid](#): > > :picard: I can’t see anyone but some rapper or thug wannabe wanting this. The whole thing screams “LOOK AT ME, I’M RIGHT HERE!”… doesn’t that defeat the purpose of an armored vehicle? If you are at risk of getting shot at, wouldn’t you want something a little more low-key? ---
**Author:** ![theblue](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/theblue/32/5074_2.png) [@theblue](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/theblue)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 11:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/13 "2009-10-14T11:26:59Z")
> [@glitch](#): > > If you are at risk of getting shot at, wouldn’t you want something a little more low-key? that would depend on how much of a pussy you are ---
**Author:** ![glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@glitch](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/glitch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 11:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/14 "2009-10-14T11:30:48Z")
Does it even have latches to open from the inside to shoot back? Or is that for pussies too? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Deathproof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@Deathproof](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Deathproof)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/15 "2009-10-14T15:40:36Z")
What kind of whale? Not all whale’s penis’s equate to the same quality leather. ---
**Author:** ![ubengineering](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ubengineering/32/5171_2.png) [@ubengineering](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ubengineering)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/16 "2009-10-14T16:35:40Z")
Q. “How do you circumcise a whale?” A. “Send down four skin-divers” and for good measure ![http://z.hubpages.com/u/238872_f260.jpg](http://z.hubpages.com/u/238872_f260.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@glitch](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/glitch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/17 "2009-10-14T17:16:02Z")
![http://www.holybug.com/imgs/holybug/Whale-Penis.jpg](http://www.holybug.com/imgs/holybug/Whale-Penis.jpg) Yes, I googled “whale penis”. This was even one of the results on the first page rofl: ![http://lotgk.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/lochness.jpg](http://lotgk.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/lochness.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![misteroman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/misteroman/32/7423_2.png) [@misteroman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/misteroman)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/18 "2009-10-14T18:27:25Z")
8.1L! Made proudly at Tonawanda Engine plant! ---
**Author:** ![Onyx\_Z32](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/onyx_z32/32/7581_2.png) [@Onyx\_Z32](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Onyx_Z32)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/19 "2009-10-14T18:33:16Z")
OMG that pic of Rosy is great :tup: They can put whale penis leather in it, but they kept the lame Trailblazer interior controls and HVAC :tdown: ![http://www.gtspirit.com/wp-content/gallery/dartz_kombat_t68/kombat-005.jpg](http://www.gtspirit.com/wp-content/gallery/dartz_kombat_t68/kombat-005.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837/20 "2009-10-14T18:45:19Z")
wow, the interior looks like a whale’s anus that driver door handle looks like it’s from an early 90’s GMC Jimmy Like Onyx said, all of the controls are from a fucking POS chevy or something. Horrible looking pedals most bland gear shifter on the planet what is that cable near the left hand kick-panel? seriously the a/c heat vents appear to be from the early 90s lastly, it is fucking gross to sit on a whale’s dick [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/1-5m-russian-suv-features-diamonds-whale-penis-leather-dartz/74837.md?page=2)