# Anyone know Jesse Clark? He ripped me off.

**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/anyone-know-jesse-clark-he-ripped-me-off/243638
**Category:** Shift518 Off Topic
**Created:** [April 20, 2009, 11:02am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/anyone-know-jesse-clark-he-ripped-me-off/243638 "2009-04-20T11:02:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Showing post:** 27

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![JClark](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jclark/32/6309_2.png) [@JClark](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JClark)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2009, 1:39pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/anyone-know-jesse-clark-he-ripped-me-off/243638/27 "2009-04-20T13:39:04Z")

</div>

> [@Turbo\>Displacement](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/turbo-displacement/17245/3):
>
> What a snarled web of lies.
> 
> I chose to air this dirtiest of laundry in this way in order to warn the public of your questionable business practices. I have replied to your private messages with sincerity, and to no avail, still having not received the agreed upon sum.
> 
> The “White, Italian thugs” you are referring to were merely my landlords ferrets. They do not have opposable thumbs, and therefore are incapable of carrying bats or any other “club-like” objects. Also, I assure you their jackets were of a polyester blend, not leather.
> 
> I was also unaware of the damage your battle cruiser did to my Fief, I will evaluate the damage when I get home, take pictures, and inform my landlord.
> 
> The ferrets will not be pleased.
> 
> I have also warned my Lord of your possession of aforementioned Trebuchet, attacks on his land will not be tolerated.

Benjamin - I warn you not to continue your smear campaign against my reputation, my honor, and my legacy on this earth. Your unprofessional behavior through this has been appalling and your ghastly retelling of our recent encounter is pure fallacy. The jackets were most certainly constructed of a dyed natural cowhide - NOT the “pleather” you refer to.

Be assured and forewarned that my trebuchet is not a subject of laughter or childish hyperbole. It is over 8 fathoms high, constructed of thick, creeky timber, and is quintessential ‘Lord of the Rings’ up in this bitch. According to Google Maps, your new place of residence is a mere 5 miles from my fortress as the crow flies. I could walk it in nary a fortnight. BE ASSURED, once again, Benjamin, that I chunks of castle wall, rotting fruit, my neighbors obnoxious dog, and other unsavory items can easily rain down upon you with a mere snap of fingers.

I trust that you will now be a gentleman about the situation and dissuade your short, white, Italian males and their ferrets against further exacerbation of the present situation. I have tried to resolve this peacefully and privately but I will defend myself as necessary if I am further provoked. Beest thou a homo no longer.

With best intentions,  
Jesse Q Clark, III. Esq.

---

_[View the full topic](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/anyone-know-jesse-clark-he-ripped-me-off/243638)._