# Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner?
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [February 13, 2008, 6:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381 "2008-02-13T06:53:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 6:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/1 "2008-02-13T06:53:39Z")
Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock 40-caliber, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
… …
Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
What do the European courts say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few a days and try to come to a consensus.
… …
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
… …
Southerner’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…
(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!
---
### Author:  [@Nikuk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Nikuk)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 6:55am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/2 "2008-02-13T06:55:46Z")
eh, almost lol.
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### Author:  [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 6:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/3 "2008-02-13T06:57:33Z")
eh, I am sure JEG will laugh. But that isn’t saying much.
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### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 6:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/4 "2008-02-13T06:59:57Z")
Its a joke lighten up its funny.
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### Author:  [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/5 "2008-02-13T07:09:02Z")
I chuckled a bit.
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### Author:  [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/6 "2008-02-13T07:09:38Z")
Oh I understand its a joke. Just a joke that isn’t really funny that’s all.
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### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/7 "2008-02-13T07:18:39Z")
> [@OfficerK](#):
>
> Oh I understand its a joke. Just a joke that isn’t really funny that’s all.
Beat it then im in a joke mood.
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### Author:  [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:21am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/8 "2008-02-13T07:21:51Z")
lol
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### Author:  [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:42am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/9 "2008-02-13T07:42:01Z")
A man walks into a bar and says “ouch!”
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### Author:  [@JayS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JayS)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:44am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/10 "2008-02-13T07:44:12Z")
I chuckled, but that joke is pretty damn old. They at least tried to modernize it a little by making the guy a terrorist instead of a mugger.
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### Author:  [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:44am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/11 "2008-02-13T07:44:29Z")
> [@OfficerK](#):
>
> Oh I understand its a joke. Just a joke that isn’t really funny that’s all.
you must be a democrat
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### Author:  [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:47am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/12 "2008-02-13T07:47:34Z")
negative
I would shoot the fucker, but I’m not a Republican/Hick either
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### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:48am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/13 "2008-02-13T07:48:26Z")
> [@JayS](#):
>
> I chuckled, but that joke is pretty damn old. They at least tried to modernize it a little by making the guy a terrorist instead of a mugger.
BLAST!!! I had never seen it before and it made me lol.
> [@boardjnky4](#):
>
> you must be a democrat
Thats what i thought but didnt want to start a pissing match. I didnt put up the joke to take a stab at dems i just thought it was funny.
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### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:49am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/14 "2008-02-13T07:49:40Z")
Ok Ok try this one.
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
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### Author:  [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/15 "2008-02-13T07:57:04Z")
a woman?
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### Author:  [@RobHimself](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RobHimself)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/16 "2008-02-13T07:57:14Z")
> [@cougarspeed](#):
>
> Ok Ok try this one.
>
> What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
Your mom?
Sorry i really had to. Never met your mom but im sure shes a great lady. I have been playing way too much call od duty 4 where “your mom” is the response to every single person who talks smack.
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### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 8:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/17 "2008-02-13T08:01:36Z")
Yea it was a woman. I suppose your mom would work too. First time i heard that one i loled pretty hard.
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### Author:  [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 8:03am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/18 "2008-02-13T08:03:55Z")
better then joke #1.
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### Author:  [@Blue\_Eyed\_Devil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Blue_Eyed_Devil)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2008, 9:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/are-you-a-democrat-a-republican-or-a-southerner/43381/19 "2008-02-13T09:07:58Z")
Republican, Democrat, southerner?
What about a Motanan?
In Montana he would be dead and buried on a ranch in the mountains long before he could aquire a huge knife.😃