# ATTN: people who say "ugh, I hate being sick"

**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/attn-people-who-say-ugh-i-hate-being-sick/21389
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [December 9, 2006, 12:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/attn-people-who-say-ugh-i-hate-being-sick/21389 "2006-12-09T12:28:30Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Showing post:** 27

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### Author: ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/attn-people-who-say-ugh-i-hate-being-sick/21389/27 "2006-12-10T16:22:08Z")

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And here’s the whole song, just because it’s awesome:

> Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream  
> About me, about you  
> About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests  
> About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts  
> Maybe below the cockles,  
> Maybe in the sub cockle area,  
> Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,  
> Maybe even in the colon, we dont know
> 
> Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job  
> Im your average white, suburbanized slob  
> I like football and porno and books about war  
> I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor  
> My wife and my job, my kids and my car  
> My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
> 
> But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested  
> (oh no, no way, uh uh)  
> No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense  
> (woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)  
> I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane  
> While people behind me are going insane
> 
> Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)  
> Im an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole)
> 
> I use public toilets and I piss on the seat  
> I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat?”
> 
> Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)  
> Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
> 
> Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces  
> While handicapped people make handicapped faces
> 
> Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)  
> Im an asshole (hes a real fucking asshole)
> 
> Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song  
> Ranting and raving and carrying on  
> Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong…  
> Nah
> 
> Im an asshole (hes an asshole,what an asshole)  
> Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
> 
> You know what Im gonna do  
> Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible  
> Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps  
> And all leather cow interior  
> And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)  
> And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour  
> Gettin’ 1 mile per gallon,  
> Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds  
> In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers  
> And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers  
> Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag  
> And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side  
> And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it  
> You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why  
> 2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?  
> Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want  
> They can have a big democracy cakewalk  
> Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square  
> and it wont make a lick of difference  
> Because weve got the bombs, OK?  
> John Wayne’s not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer  
> Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off  
> You know why,  
> Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times  
> Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!  
> I’m gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,  
> and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,  
> and drive down to Texas and say…
> 
> (Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)  
> Why don’t you just shut up and sing the song, pal?  
> Im an asshole (hes an asshole.what an asshole)  
> Im an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole)
> 
> A-S-S-H-O-L-E  
> Everybody  
> A-S-S-H-O-L-E
> 
> Im an asshole and Im proud of it

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