# Aviation Maintance Humour **URL:** \ **Category:** PittSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [July 22, 2008, 7:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662 "2008-07-22T07:26:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![green](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/green/32/5996_2.png) [@green](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/green)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 7:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/1 "2008-07-22T07:26:59Z")
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, have ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200 ft. per min. descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. PS: Aircraft acting funny S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. ---
**Author:** ![ZEX350Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/87869e/32.png) [@ZEX350Z](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ZEX350Z)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 10:23am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/2 "2008-07-22T10:23:41Z")
HAha…very good ---
**Author:** ![JackdUp](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jackdup/32/6015_2.png) [@JackdUp](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JackdUp)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/3 "2008-07-22T12:23:25Z")
Nice find. Great humor comes from great boredom? ---
**Author:** ![cleanquick306](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/48db29/32.png) [@cleanquick306](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cleanquick306)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:34pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/4 "2008-07-22T12:34:23Z")
i loled ---
**Author:** ![grnteg98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@grnteg98](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/grnteg98)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/5 "2008-07-22T12:43:26Z")
> [@some one hit by a train tonight in lancaster](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/some-one-hit-by-a-train-tonight-in-lancaster/37167/27): > > i loled x2 ---
**Author:** ![stinkbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@stinkbox](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/stinkbox)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/6 "2008-07-22T15:28:58Z")
Most of those are pretty good haha. ---
**Author:** ![T34418L31](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e56c9b/32.png) [@T34418L31](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/T34418L31)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/7 "2008-07-22T19:47:28Z")
> [@FS: 1992 Eagle Talon Highly Modified \*\*NEW PICS\*\*](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fs-1992-eagle-talon-highly-modified-new-pics/37158/17): > > x2 x3 ---
**Author:** ![Bswaptcivic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b782af/32.png) [@Bswaptcivic](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bswaptcivic)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/8 "2008-07-22T20:50:29Z")
hahaha:rofl: ---
**Author:** ![bgblockelcamino](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bgblockelcamino/32/5997_2.png) [@bgblockelcamino](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/bgblockelcamino)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/9 "2008-07-22T20:53:58Z")
🤣 ---
**Author:** ![noahTHEpurdy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/87869e/32.png) [@noahTHEpurdy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/noahTHEpurdy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/10 "2008-07-22T21:01:48Z")
🤣 ---
**Author:** ![JettaDriverX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f4b2a3/32.png) [@JettaDriverX](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JettaDriverX)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/11 "2008-07-22T21:08:25Z")
🤣 Those are good. ---
**Author:** ![Lazylaser](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/lazylaser/32/6033_2.png) [@Lazylaser](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Lazylaser)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/12 "2008-07-22T21:53:34Z")
this one was legendary when I was still in avionics, \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ inoperative in OFF(offical) mode. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ inoperative in OFF mode. And I actually debreifed a pilot who was complaining about the auto-land not working, AFTER HE HAD BEEN DOING TOUCH AND GO’S FOR HOURS…there is no auto land in the KC-135’s… so from 200 feet the a/c had been landing itself for hours on end. ---
**Author:** ![Pewter](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pewter/32/5936_2.png) [@Pewter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pewter)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/13 "2008-07-23T04:24:07Z")
🤣 ---
**Author:** ![flyinglow57](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/flyinglow57/32/5978_2.png) [@flyinglow57](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/flyinglow57)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2008, 2:37pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/aviation-maintance-humour/198662/14 "2008-07-23T14:37:29Z")
copying and sending to my friend that is a mechanic in the airforce on jets.