# BEST MOTHER IN LAW JOKE I HAVE EVER HEARD. **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [February 9, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978 "2006-02-09T15:25:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![98FREAKGTP](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/98freakgtp/32/7213_2.png) [@98FREAKGTP](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/98FREAKGTP)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/1 "2006-02-09T15:25:30Z")
“BEST MOTHER IN LAW JOKE I HAVE EVER HEARD.” A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00.” The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, “Why?” Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to spend only $150.00?" The man said, “A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.” ---
**Author:** ![OfficerK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4da419/32.png) [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/2 "2006-02-09T15:41:10Z")
:tif: ---
**Author:** ![Janny](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/janny/32/7594_2.png) [@Janny](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Janny)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/3 "2006-02-09T15:42:22Z")
oh christianity. ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/4 "2006-02-09T15:45:34Z")
LOL thats sweet. ---
**Author:** ![AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AlbinoMonkeyRat)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/5 "2006-02-09T15:47:17Z")
baaaahahhaahhaa! ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/6 "2006-02-09T16:11:34Z")
hahahaha ---
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 5:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/7 "2006-02-09T17:05:50Z")
hahahha that was good ---
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/8 "2006-02-09T18:02:18Z")
Silly religion. I gave it a chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![MikeRi24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@MikeRi24](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MikeRi24)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/9 "2006-02-09T18:38:09Z")
o man thats great ---
**Author:** ![Ovrwrkd](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ovrwrkd/32/7586_2.png) [@Ovrwrkd](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ovrwrkd)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/10 "2006-02-09T19:41:54Z")
I 2nd the chuckle. [hijack] A child molester is walking with a kid deep into the woods in the middle of the night. The kid looks up and says, “Wow its dark, I’m sacred”. The molester looks at the kid and says, “You’re scared… I gotta walk back by myself!” [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![nitroinsane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@nitroinsane](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/nitroinsane)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/11 "2006-02-09T19:59:31Z")
itagaki ftw ---
**Author:** ![91CRXSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/91crxsi/32/7247_2.png) [@91CRXSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/91CRXSI)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/12 "2006-02-09T20:57:21Z")
kinda funny… its the type of joke you can tell to older people or younger kids ---
**Author:** ![Fetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fetter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fetter)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/13 "2006-02-09T22:18:34Z")
not bad i suppose ---
**Author:** ![Jon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@Jon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/14 "2006-02-09T22:21:34Z")
Here is a better one… 2 potatoes are standing on a corner, how do you know which one is the prostitute? One is stamped “Idaho”. ---
**Author:** ![98FREAKGTP](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/98freakgtp/32/7213_2.png) [@98FREAKGTP](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/98FREAKGTP)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/15 "2006-02-10T03:42:04Z")
> [@Jon](#): > > Here is a better one… > > 2 potatoes are standing on a corner, how do you know which one is the prostitute? > > One is stamped “Idaho”. That is better :lol: ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Karus](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mrs_karus/32/7426_2.png) [@Mrs\_Karus](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mrs_Karus)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:10am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/16 "2006-02-10T07:10:50Z")
lol not bad… i laughed for a second. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RedDawg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@RedDawg](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedDawg)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:36am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/17 "2006-02-10T07:36:36Z")
whats the opposite of Christopher Reeves? -Christopher Walken ---
**Author:** ![RedDawg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@RedDawg](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedDawg)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/18 "2006-02-10T07:38:37Z")
Two turtles go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they’ve forgotten a bottle opener. The first turtle turns to the second and says, “You’ve gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer.” “No way,” says the second. “By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food.” “I promise I won’t,” says the turtle. “Just hurry!” Nine full days pass and there’s still no sign of the second turtle. Exasperated and starving, the first turtle digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, the second turtle pops out from behind a rock and yells, “I knew it! I’m not fucking going!” ---
**Author:** ![MonteCarloChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@MonteCarloChick](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MonteCarloChick)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:50am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/19 "2006-02-10T07:50:47Z")
I giggled ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 10:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978/20 "2006-02-10T10:11:01Z")
:groan: at this whole thread… What’s the difference between a hard on and a light on? You can sleep with a light on. [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/best-mother-in-law-joke-i-have-ever-heard/7978.md?page=2)