# Blonde jokes part 1 **URL:** \ **Category:** PittSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [March 6, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/blonde-jokes-part-1/172776 "2005-03-06T18:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The1SloR\_T](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the1slor_t/32/5984_2.png) [@The1SloR\_T](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The1SloR_T)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/blonde-jokes-part-1/172776/1 "2005-03-06T18:23:38Z")
Q: What did the blonde’s right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They’ve never met. A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. Q: What’s the mating call of the blonde? A: “I’m _sooo_ drunk!” Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!” Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings? A: To put their feet through. Q: What’s a brunette’s mating call? A: Has that blonde gone yet? A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!? A3: “All the blondes have gone home!” Q: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? A: “Have another beer.” Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: Because everybody gets a turn. Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend. Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? A: You don’t let your best friend borrow your toothbrush. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and “The Titanic”? A: They know how many men went down on “The Titanic”. Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces him/her self. A2: Walks home. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde’s boyfriend? A: He’s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant? A: Her feet! Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road? A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!? A2: I don’t know. R: Neither did she. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? A: Because her boyfriend was also blond! Q: Why did they call the blonde “twinkie”? A: She liked to be filled with cream. Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that “love handles” referred to her ears? Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: In the morning a rooster says, “Cock’ll-doodl-doooo”, while a blonde says, “Any-cock’ll-doooo.” Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Grand Old Duke of York only ‘had’ 10000 men. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aides. Q: What’s the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: The prostitute says, “Aren’t you done yet?” The nympho says, “Are you done already?” The blonde says, “Beige…I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.” Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a telephone? A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone. Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men. A: Their heels. Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A: She picks up her purse and goes home. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had _three_ orgasms in a row! Blonde: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde? A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on. Q: Why do blondes have vaginas? A: So guys will talk to them at parties. … then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan “Billions Served - just today” Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod… Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball. ---
**Author:** ![OnTheRun710](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/5fc32e/32.png) [@OnTheRun710](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OnTheRun710)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/blonde-jokes-part-1/172776/2 "2005-03-06T20:27:19Z")
heh… new sig ---
**Author:** ![The1SloR\_T](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the1slor_t/32/5984_2.png) [@The1SloR\_T](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The1SloR_T)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/blonde-jokes-part-1/172776/3 "2005-03-06T20:38:45Z")
lol i love the first one too ---
**Author:** ![traydogg6969](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/traydogg6969/32/5999_2.png) [@traydogg6969](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/traydogg6969)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/blonde-jokes-part-1/172776/4 "2005-03-06T21:05:47Z")
thats why all guys love blondes