# chuck norris fact generator **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [December 19, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875 "2005-12-19T15:38:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mindless](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mindless/32/7286_2.png) [@mindless](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/mindless)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/21 "2005-12-19T22:47:38Z")
OMG chuck is the man ROUNDHOUSE Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/uploads/speedlife/original/2X/b/b7170c8eddc0b95ece6b88172b2f416a08489a45.png) [@system](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/22 "2005-12-19T22:54:05Z")
Chuck Norris had 98 kills in Vietnam and he wasn’t even there. :lol: :lol: 🤣 :lol: :lol: ---
**Author:** ![Twizted](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/twizted/32/7206_2.png) [@Twizted](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Twizted)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/23 "2005-12-20T04:49:08Z")
Chuck Norris went to the supermarket to pick up some eggs, but everytime he touched the eggs, the scrambled themsevles and jumped out of the shell. When asked by the a beautiful woman how he was able to perform such a feat, Chuck Norris replied, “I am all that is man.” He then stared at her for 5 seconds, then gave her a roundhouse kick to the face. ---
**Author:** ![87FOXGT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ecd19e/32.png) [@87FOXGT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/87FOXGT)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/24 "2005-12-20T08:26:40Z")
lol I go to this site every morning now :lol: ---
**Author:** ![AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AlbinoMonkeyRat)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:08am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/25 "2005-12-20T10:08:49Z")
Chuck Norris does not use toilet paper to wipe his ass. He merely uses the women he slept with the night before. ---
**Author:** ![Tkklemann](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/tkklemann/32/7298_2.png) [@Tkklemann](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Tkklemann)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:15am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/26 "2005-12-20T10:15:42Z")
“Chuck Norris tried to stop looters in New Orleans purely with positive thought. When that failed he shot them 14 times in the face with an assault rifle.” Probably would have helped the situation, no? ---
**Author:** ![Tkklemann](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/tkklemann/32/7298_2.png) [@Tkklemann](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Tkklemann)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:17am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/27 "2005-12-20T10:17:17Z")
Ohhhhhh SHIT SON! Damn, I wish I was him! “Chuck Norris’ first girlfriend gave him the nickname 7-11, being that he was 7 inches limp and 11 hard. They broke up when he was 8.” ---
**Author:** ![Twizted](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/twizted/32/7206_2.png) [@Twizted](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Twizted)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/28 "2005-12-20T16:38:29Z")
Chuck Norris once made love to a Sasquatch. This resulted in the birth of George W. Bush, and the Sasquatch contacting an incurable form of Syphillis, known as “The Norris Clap”. ---
**Author:** ![AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AlbinoMonkeyRat)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/29 "2005-12-21T08:18:04Z")
I submitted one: Chuck Norris single-handedly built the Egyptian pyramids. They are merely dried piles of his feces. The third pyramid is smaller because he only ate 300 fetuses that day. ---
**Author:** ![zero\_assault](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/dfb087/32.png) [@zero\_assault](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/zero_assault)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/30 "2005-12-21T08:54:26Z")
![http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000063WJV.03.LZZZZZZZ.jpg](http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000063WJV.03.LZZZZZZZ.jpg) getting ready for a roundhouse ---
**Author:** ![ecoshardcore](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ecoshardcore/32/7591_2.png) [@ecoshardcore](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ecoshardcore)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/31 "2005-12-21T08:57:08Z")
Chuck Norris was one of the original members of Wu Tang Clan, but quit because they weren’t street enough. According to the Geneva Convention, Chuck Norris is not allowed to be used as a first strike weapon. Just for kicks, every Friday night Chuck Norris drives his minivan through Harlem yelling “Hey nigga” at everyone with a gun. Chuck Norris will eat Mike Tysons’ babies. Chuck Norris likes his girls like he likes his whiskey - 12 years old and mixed up with coke. ---
**Author:** ![catalyst](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/catalyst/32/7279_2.png) [@catalyst](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/catalyst)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/32 "2005-12-21T09:53:05Z")
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself. ---
**Author:** ![ecoshardcore](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ecoshardcore/32/7591_2.png) [@ecoshardcore](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ecoshardcore)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 7:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/33 "2005-12-22T07:30:35Z")
I submitted: Rick James would never EVER slap Chuck Norris ---
**Author:** ![ecoshardcore](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ecoshardcore/32/7591_2.png) [@ecoshardcore](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ecoshardcore)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/34 "2005-12-22T07:46:01Z")
I submitted: Chuck Norris flosses with barbed wire ---
**Author:** ![Twizted](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/twizted/32/7206_2.png) [@Twizted](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Twizted)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/35 "2005-12-22T15:19:37Z")
Chuck Norris devised his own STD. On top of that, he doesnt tell women about it until after he punches them in the throat. ---
**Author:** ![AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AlbinoMonkeyRat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/36 "2005-12-22T19:07:51Z")
The reason emo bands are so emo is because they are being persecuted by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris hates emos. ---
**Author:** ![adamantairman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@adamantairman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/adamantairman)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 6:02am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875/37 "2006-01-09T06:02:56Z")
Looks like chuck has a couple of his own words about the facts [http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx](http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx) [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/chuck-norris-fact-generator/5875.md?page=1)