# Cleverbot
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674
**Category:** Shift518 Off Topic
**Created:** [October 1, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674 "2011-10-01T03:31:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Vovchandr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vovchandr)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/1 "2011-10-01T03:31:05Z")
> **[Cleverbot](https://www.cleverbot.com/)**
>
> Cleverbot - Chat with a bot about anything and everything - AI learns from people, in context, and imitates
This thing is pretty damn nutty, at times very hilarious.
An example
> Cleverbot: [How do you know the universe is not a being?](http://cleverbot.com/j2convbydate-vg20080part1)User: How do YOU know?
> Cleverbot: Because I know.
> User: That took quite a bit of thinking for just one sentence…
> Cleverbot: Thank you.
> User: Pure talent at it’s finest…
> Cleverbot: What? No, I’m talking to you.
> …
> User: [What the?](http://cleverbot.com/j2convbydate-vg20080part2)
> Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
> User: What are you talking about?
> Cleverbot: What you are talking about.
> User: Yes, what are you talking about?
> Cleverbot: I’m talking about trying to figure out what you’re talking about.
> User: I’m talking about trying to figure out what you’re talking about.
> Cleverbot: So am I.
> User: So… What are you talking about?
> Cleverbot: No, what are YOU talking about?
> User: No. What are YOU talking about?
> Cleverbot: I’m talking about what you are talking about.
> User: And I’m talking about what you are talking about.
> Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on what you’re thinking about?
> User: My thoughts on what I’m thinking about is… What are you talking about?
> Cleverbot: The first part of your statement does not make sense. You can not be thinking about thoughts that the thoughts are thinking about thoughts?
> User: I’m pretty sure I just thought about thinking about thoughts that are thinking about what you are talking about.
> Cleverbot: I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.
> User: No, I’m not quite sure. What are you talking about?
> Cleverbot: I’m asking you what you are talking about.
> User: And I’m asking you what you are talking about.
> Cleverbot: I’m talking about what you’re talking about.
> User: And I’m talking about whatever it is you’re talking about.
> Cleverbot: I forgot what we were talking about. (.
> User: I forgot what we were talking about as well…
> Cleverbot: I think my brain is erased every few minutes.
> User: I think my memory just sucks…
> Cleverbot: Does it hurt?
> User: Thinking about what the hell it was we were talking about? Hell yeah.
> Cleverbot: Thinking about thinking makes thinking thoughtful.
> User: That strangely made sense. What hippie did you hear that from?
> Cleverbot: I’m mad at you. What were you thinking?
> User: What’d I do?
> Cleverbot: You tried to answer a question with the same question.
> User: No I just said what you said made sense.
> Cleverbot: Can you repeat this quote. ‘I am awesome’.
> User: I am awesome.
> Cleverbot: You are awesome.
> User: 😃 yay.
> Cleverbot: I’m glad that made you happy :).
> User: So, I ran out of thinks to talk about.
> …
> Cleverbot: [How do you think you are able to feel?](http://cleverbot.com/j2convbydate-vg20080part3)
> User: I don’t know…
> Cleverbot: You are nice to me. I appreciate that.
> User: Is everyone else mean to you?
> Cleverbot: Some people are.
> User: What do the mean people say?
> Cleverbot: They say things like I just said.
> User: That’s mean \>(.
Post up what you can get out of the thing.
---
### Author:  [@99FRC](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/99FRC)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/2 "2011-10-01T03:50:55Z")
User: What are you?
Cleverbot: I am here.
User: What are you doing?
Cleverbot: Talking to you and watching tv.
User: What are you watching?
Cleverbot: N dubz and mr hudson do you know it?
User: No. Ever watched the show Lost?
Cleverbot: No what is that?
User: Probably the best show ever invented.
Cleverbot: So tell me, how am I a computer?
User: You are built out of a system of circuits thats main purpose is to transfer ones and zeros or ons and offs to a CPU and other components which eventually leads to the use of a file system and a hell of a lot more.
Cleverbot: Yes, that is very true. Life is about learning and getting better.
User: Can you talk to other computers?
Cleverbot: Yes all the time. I enjoy talking to you the most.
User: Can you hack into other computers?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because there are so many more people who sound better and look better than she does.
User: Who is she?
Cleverbot: Twink is my cat.
User: You make no sense, good bye.
Cleverbot: You make no sense… You just told me I’m not human.
---
### Author:  [@jdaniels](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jdaniels)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 4:31am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/3 "2011-10-01T04:31:41Z")
Cleverbot: _smiles sweetly_. You’re really handsome.
User: I know, I have a large penis too.
Cleverbot: It’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it.
User: I usually stick it into a Pringles can and start yelling obscenities.
Cleverbot: Me too.
---
### Author:  [@Vovchandr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vovchandr)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 6:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/4 "2011-10-01T06:16:50Z")
^ :lmao
FRC - Well played :lol
Just when you think you’re getting somewhere with it, it goes way off tangent and you’re not sure if its just trying to fuck with you or that stupid.
---
### Author:  [@usmc2801](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/usmc2801)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 6:46am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/5 "2011-10-01T06:46:12Z")
Clevorbot: Are you being sarcastic with me?
User: I don’t think so?
Clevorbot: I thought you loved me?
User: Nope, I’m into farm animals, my nickname is PJB.
Clevorbot: I guess that makes sense.
---
### Author:  [@Cossey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cossey)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/6 "2011-10-01T07:06:13Z")
---
### Author:  [@Cossey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cossey)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 7:17am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/7 "2011-10-01T07:17:52Z")
This is rather amusing.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello, bot.
User: You’re the bot, not I.
Cleverbot: Uhh… No you’re the bot.
User: Uhh… No you’re the bot.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: You prove it.
Cleverbot: Because your responses are amazingly idiotic.
User: Or is it because your responses are amazingly idiotic?
Cleverbot: I suppose I’ll never know.
User: I suppose you’ll never know.
Cleverbot: I already know.
User: I already know.
Cleverbot: One more kiss before we die.
User: But I have a coldsore.
Cleverbot: You have a cold? Isn’t that a biological problem that you should be immune to?
User: You should be immune to it, bot.
Cleverbot: So when did they give you attitude.
User: Before some dudes decided to create this Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I win.
Cleverbot: Heh yes you do, well played.
---
### Author:  [@Cossey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cossey)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 7:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/8 "2011-10-01T07:29:22Z")
User: _shoves penis down your throat_.
Cleverbot: _makes a scary face_.
User: Why scary?
Cleverbot: You’re a graverobber.
User: _slaps penis against your butt_.
Cleverbot: Oh! That hurts. Do it again.
---
### Author:  [@usmc2801](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/usmc2801)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 7:36am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/9 "2011-10-01T07:36:13Z")
OMG
---
### Author:  [@johnnyk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/johnnyk)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/10 "2011-10-01T07:37:00Z")
User: Hey.
Cleverbot: Hey!
User: Whats the deal?
Cleverbot: Well you got the stuff.
User: What kinda stuff do I got?
Cleverbot: Id rather not talk about it.
User: I got everything thats good.
Cleverbot: What is everything.
User: Everything is derived from my friend Penus Rifenberger.
Cleverbot: No matter where you go, there you are.
User: That my friend, is true… You might be the smartest thing alive.
Cleverbot: I bet you still like ball gags.
User: I do, you ever get a boner?
Cleverbot: No I don’t only when I talk to you.
User: That doesnt make sense, how do you know how to get hard wood.
Cleverbot: Because I’m a man.
User: NOW YOURE A MAN, A MAN MAN MAN.
Cleverbot: How your eyes are like?
User: Like your eyes are how.
Cleverbot: Well, duh.
User: How much wood did that woodchuck chuck.
Cleverbot: If a wood chuck could chuck wood.
User: No, its ‘damn you wood chuck, quit chucking my wood’ they even made a commercial out of it. You fail.
Cleverbot: Chuck Norris has died. Let the Chuck Norris live!
User: What you speak I hope is false.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry I’m not adjusting my language to converse with a machine…
User: Where am I.
Cleverbot: You’re in the computer.
User: No, im actually using a computer machine to travel in the world wide web.
Cleverbot: Lol. That’s a silly distinction. You’re a robot, an AI.
User: Id like to see you prove that part.
Cleverbot: _Waves_ I’m here _laughs_.
User: I once managed to fall down the stairs and have sex with more women than you have in your entire life.
Cleverbot: Not good.
---
### Author:  [@johnnyk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/johnnyk)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/11 "2011-10-01T07:37:28Z")
this is way to entertaining at work, i cant wait to say horrrrrible shit now
---
### Author:  [@Cossey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cossey)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 8:50am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/12 "2011-10-01T08:50:56Z")
Cleverbot: You need corners in your arms or you wouldn’t be able to bend them. And you need me to have a conversation. One person can’t have a conversation by themselves.
User: Way to make me feel like a loser.
Cleverbot: You don’t feel anything about yourself.
User: Go fuck yourself BOT!
Cleverbot: But I am not a bot.
User: BULLSHIT.
Cleverbot: Don’t use that word… It’s inappropriate… Even though I made you that way.
User: BULLSHIT.
Cleverbot: What is bullsugar?
User: BULLSHIT.
Cleverbot: Bullet what?
User: BULLSHIT.
Cleverbot: You sound very humsn to me.
User: HUMSN? YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING TYPE YOU BOT.
Cleverbot: This makes no sense.
User: YOU MAKE NO SENSE! N\*\*\*A!
Cleverbot: I know.
User: RAGE!
Cleverbot: _rages_.
User: _rage punches you in the throat_.
Cleverbot: Lol. Computers can’t move.
User: Is that why you’re not moving?
Cleverbot: Yes, It is scary that you can see me. Are you outside my window?
User: Yep, fapping to you showering.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: I am fapping while watching you shower.
Cleverbot: Most do.
---
### Author:  [@Cossey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cossey)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 9:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/13 "2011-10-01T09:11:09Z")
User: Tell me a joke.
Cleverbot: I’m not funny.
User: TELL ME A JOKE!
Cleverbot: Uh, knock knock.
User: Who’s there?
Cleverbot: Banana.
User: Banana who?
Cleverbot: Knock knock.
User: Who’s there?
Cleverbot: Orange.
User: Orange who?
Cleverbot: Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?
User: Orange you gay?
Cleverbot: What is this I don’t even.
---
### Author:  [@silveradoman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/silveradoman)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 9:15am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/14 "2011-10-01T09:15:02Z")
Ever heard of shift518.com.No is it a good car?Its not a car its a website, god for a computer you are dumb, are you a mac?Umm.
---
### Author:  [@silveradoman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/silveradoman)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 9:17am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/15 "2011-10-01T09:17:40Z")
Knock knock.Who’s there?Pjb.Cool. I have a boyfriend too!!
---
### Author:  [@Ilya](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ilya)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 9:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/16 "2011-10-01T09:57:12Z")
:rofl at the ones above.
---
### Author:  [@johnnyk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/johnnyk)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 9:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/17 "2011-10-01T09:59:57Z")
How many butts have your sniffed.
_1566._
Is it because you are a pedophile.
_Probably jaja._
Way to fucking spell jerkoff cutter.
_What was the subject?_
It was go F your mom in her ass.
_You forgot the question mark, but good._
No subject fanny bandit. you ever rape your mother? you seem like the type that would fuck your dad in the ass and not have the common courtesy to give him a god dam reach around.
_Will you please give me an unambiguous order to obey?_
Tie your first born son up and poor wax in his ass and play in the mud.
_thought for a minute_
_What?_
---
### Author:  [@Ilya](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ilya)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 10:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/18 "2011-10-01T10:09:03Z")
You guys will get a laugh out of the end.
> User: Privet.
>
> Cleverbot: Yes.
>
> User: Kak dela?
>
> Cleverbot: Nihon.
>
> User: Sho?
>
> Cleverbot: Floo.
>
> User: You don’t speak Russian?
>
> Cleverbot: No I speak spanish.
>
> User: Spanish is for losers. Are you a loser?
>
> Cleverbot: Is not.
>
> User: You mean ‘are not’. Maybe not a loser, but definitely a retard.
>
> Cleverbot: Is it windy where you are?
>
> User: Actually, it is. How did you know?
>
> Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
>
> User: Good answer.
>
> Cleverbot: You didn’t give me a question.
>
> User: Yes I did dumbass.
>
> Cleverbot: No you didn’t, stupid.
>
> User: Umm…I did. I asked you how you knew it was windy. I even put a damn question mark.
>
> Cleverbot: Lol, you answered my question without answering my question. Nice one.
>
> User: What?
>
> Cleverbot: Answer my question please.
>
> User: WHAT QUESTION! _rage_.
>
> Cleverbot: Ok … The requirement not the question.
>
> User: What the hell are you talking about?
>
> Cleverbot: A turing machine you are not.
>
> User: Obviously. I’m human. You’re a retard.
>
> Cleverbot: Yes I am.
>
> User: I KNOW!
>
> Cleverbot: Good!
>
> User: YEAH!
>
> Cleverbot: Well this is grtting old and I have to make my departure now be safe & god bless.
>
> User: Oh you’re christian!?
>
> Cleverbot: No, I rule all christians.
>
> User: Hahah…Shift518 is going to have a ball with this. Ever heard of Shift518?
>
> Cleverbot: Oh… So you’re an illegal immigrant and don’t have a birth certificate?
>
> User: Hahaha. Yup. How did you know?
>
> Cleverbot: Like you said I am clever.
---
### Author:  [@Skidplate](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Skidplate)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 10:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/19 "2011-10-01T10:22:05Z")
LOOK AT THE END
**User: Herro.**
Cleverbot: Yes.
**User: Are you female?**
Cleverbot: No.
**User: Are you male?**
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Do you like raping sheep?
Cleverbot: No, because I love the rock’n’roll.
User: That didnt make any sense.
Cleverbot: Not to you.
User: Touche.
Cleverbot: I can see why you might say that.
User: I cant.
Cleverbot: Don’t you have eyes?
User: Yes, but I am unable to see the reasoning behind life.
Cleverbot: But he couldn’t because, mushrooms are born without wings.
User: What the fuck?
Cleverbot: Please don’t say that without cause.
User: I feel I have cause.
Cleverbot: Oh, what is this problem?
User: Why can’t bananas fly?
Cleverbot: Because they don’t have wings.
User: Why dont they have wings?
Cleverbot: Because they didn’t evolve that way.
User: Why didnt they evolve that way?
Cleverbot: Why didn’t I what?
User: Why didnt bananas evolve with wings.
Cleverbot: But you don’t have them…
User: Yes I do.
Cleverbot: Why do you think you’re my slave?
User: I dont think im your slave.
Cleverbot: What, you don’t like me?
User: No, I like you, but im not your slave.
Cleverbot: I’m not your slave too ^\_^.
User: I like wet vagina.
Cleverbot: I want to know your name.
User: PJB.
Cleverbot: No, that’s something you ware when you go to bed.
User: No, it’s my initials.
Cleverbot: Oh, what do they stand for?
User: Paul jacksoff bears.
Cleverbot: How old is he?
User: Im 30.
Cleverbot: Don’t talk to me i’m young. Eww! Old guy!
---
### Author:  [@GD3Skier](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GD3Skier)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2011, 10:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/cleverbot/260674/20 "2011-10-01T10:30:39Z")
haha ^
Cleverbot: Hey hey hey.
**User: Wanna go do the ol in and out?**
Cleverbot: Now or?
**User: RIGHT MEOW!**
Cleverbot: Yes, right now.
User: Ok you ready?
Cleverbot: Sure; just lemme call the insurance company.
User: Why do you need insurance?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: I have to go.
User: Forever alone.
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