# Dear Red States;
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [October 30, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312 "2008-10-30T06:51:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@66impalass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/66impalass)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/1 "2008-10-30T06:51:11Z")
_Dear Red States:_
If you manage to steal this election too, we’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss.
We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans
(thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, Johns Hopkins, and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We also get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy
bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Peace out,
Blue States
---
### Author:  [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 6:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/2 "2008-10-30T06:54:40Z")
👋 I’d love to be rid of the South. We should have let them secede.
---
### Author:  [@forthekicks385](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/forthekicks385)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 6:56am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/3 "2008-10-30T06:56:48Z")
> [@Joe](#):
>
> 👋 I’d love to be rid of the South. We should have let them secede.
hey joe i heard that china is wonderful this time of year why don’t you move there?
---
### Author:  [@JayS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JayS)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 6:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/4 "2008-10-30T06:59:00Z")
From a guy that lives in Texas. :roflpicard:
Where are the job booms again?
Georgia
Texas
North Carolina
All red. NC is a tossup this year so I’m sure their taxes will be going up soon and businesses will be leaving.
---
### Author:  [@Adictd2b00st](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Adictd2b00st)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 6:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/5 "2008-10-30T06:59:45Z")
haha thats great :tup:
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### Author:  [@Karter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Karter)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/6 "2008-10-30T07:00:45Z")
A+
---
### Author:  [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:03am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/7 "2008-10-30T07:03:19Z")
> [@forthekicks385](#):
>
> hey joe i heard that china is wonderful this time of year why don’t you move there?
i like white chicks
---
### Author:  [@walter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/walter)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:06am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/8 "2008-10-30T07:06:59Z")
It would have been funnier if 100% of the statistics weren’t made up.
---
### Author:  [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/9 "2008-10-30T07:18:47Z")
its still entertaining.
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### Author:  [@66impalass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/66impalass)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/10 "2008-10-30T07:53:06Z")
> [@JayS](#):
>
> From a guy that lives in Texas. :roflpicard:
>
> Where are the job booms again?
>
> Georgia
> Texas
> North Carolina
>
> All red. NC is a tossup this year so I’m sure their taxes will be going up soon and businesses will be leaving.
Look up the voting statistics for the Metroplex area.
Texas has been dying since the energy crunch, Georgia is dying out EXTREMELY fast do to the cost of living/cost of gas there
---
### Author:  [@Dr.Stevil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dr.Stevil)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/11 "2008-10-30T07:54:29Z")
> [@66impalass"](#):
>
> _Dear Red States:_
>
> _If you manage to steal this election too, we’ve decided we’re leaving._
don’t let the door hit ya on the way out 🙂
edit: don’t forget to take your politicians with you
---
### Author:  [@EvilJay](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/EvilJay)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/12 "2008-10-30T07:57:25Z")
ILISM…
Can’t wait for douchebag blue eyed devil to post.
---
### Author:  [@TgDn32](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/TgDn32)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/13 "2008-10-30T08:00:25Z")
Meh
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### Author:  [@Adictd2b00st](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Adictd2b00st)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:12am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/14 "2008-10-30T08:12:44Z")
> [@Dr.Stevil](#):
>
> [/indent]don’t let the door hit ya on the way out 🙂
>
> edit: don’t forget to take your politicians with you
for someone who keeps saying he’s “undecided” your responses sure show otherwise lol
---
### Author:  [@Dr.Stevil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dr.Stevil)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/15 "2008-10-30T08:16:43Z")
> [@Adictd2b00st](#):
>
> for someone who keeps saying he’s “undecided” your responses sure show otherwise lol
lol well, I’m not even going to vote honestly. I don’t like either candidate (I believe in old school conservative governing, none of this bullshit we’ve been seeing lately)
But for those threatning to leave because their candidate wasn’t voted in, feel free 🙂
---
### Author:  [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/16 "2008-10-30T08:26:12Z")
haha, so much Southern hate for people that have probably never stepped foot in a southern state other than disney world in Florida.
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### Author:  [@walter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/walter)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:51am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/17 "2008-10-30T08:51:12Z")
> [@66impalass](#):
>
> Georgia is dying out EXTREMELY fast do to the cost of living/cost of gas there
:huh:
:wtf: are you talking about?
---
### Author:  [@Dr.Stevil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dr.Stevil)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/18 "2008-10-30T08:53:36Z")
> [@walter](#):
>
> :huh:
>
> :wtf: are you talking about?
x2
I have friends in Ga. doing VERY well for themselves. Last time I was down there, Gas and Cigarettes were dirt cheap comapred to NY. Housing was pretty affordable in their area too (kingston)
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### Author:  [@StrokedZ28](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/StrokedZ28)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:55am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/19 "2008-10-30T08:55:16Z")
> [@boardjnky4](#):
>
> haha, so much Southern hate for people that have probably never stepped foot in a southern state other than disney world in Florida.
Honestly Americans have much more in common then are different. Just don’t tell the RNC.
---
### Author:  [@JayS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JayS)
#### Post date: [October 30, 2008, 8:55am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/dear-red-states/57312/20 "2008-10-30T08:55:17Z")
> [@walter](#):
>
> :huh:
>
> :wtf: are you talking about?
Exactly. I’ve had two very close friends just recently relocate to Georgia and all I hear about is how good the job market is and how when they account for the decreased property tax they were able to buy just as nice a house for the same monthly payment. Their first hand accounts match up well with what I’ve seen on job posting sites as well.
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