# Divorce letter **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [October 31, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorce-letter/57395 "2008-10-31T15:34:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Karter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@Karter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Karter)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorce-letter/57395/1 "2008-10-31T15:34:56Z")
Best Divorce Letter Ever! Dear Wife: I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! * * * Dear Ex-Husband: Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Bovice](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bovice/32/5084_2.png) [@Bovice](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bovice)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 3:37pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorce-letter/57395/2 "2008-10-31T15:37:15Z")
fucking pwned! ---
**Author:** ![articzap](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/articzap/32/7361_2.png) [@articzap](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/articzap)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 3:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorce-letter/57395/3 "2008-10-31T15:43:11Z")
Oh snap! ---
**Author:** ![blewbyu](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/blewbyu/32/5055_2.png) [@blewbyu](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/blewbyu)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 3:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorce-letter/57395/4 "2008-10-31T15:45:56Z")
LOL. wonderful