# Divorced: how did you deal with it? \[now with more drama!\] **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [February 10, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162 "2010-02-10T03:04:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nessuno3400](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nessuno3400/32/7228_2.png) [@Nessuno3400](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Nessuno3400)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/21 "2010-02-10T07:24:01Z")
I’ve never been married, however I was in a 4 year relationship that ended quite abruptly. I was so used to her being there all the time that I didn’t know what to do. The best thing I found is to surround yourself with things you enjoy and preoccupy your time with them. Do not sit at home alone because that will just make you think about it and get you all depressed. The less time you have to think about it, the easier it is. For example, I started working out and worked on my car. Find a hobby, go out with your friends, work more hours at your job…whatever works, just don’t give yourself a chance to sit there and sulk. ---
**Author:** ![AFhockey31](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/afhockey31/32/5086_2.png) [@AFhockey31](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AFhockey31)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:28am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/22 "2010-02-10T07:28:11Z")
Another piece of advice, DO NOT do something that you both had interest in. In the coming time, whatever car she drove, youll think they never made any other car cause thats all youll see… Same with music, and places you both went. If it was something you both spent time doing or something she like to do, dont do it. It will only remind you of her, and how you wished she was there to partake with you. Instead, this is a prime time to find yourself, and things you always wanted to do, and never could do. This will do a couple things: 1. Get your mind off of things 2. Get you doing things youve wanted to do forever, trying new things to make yourself a better person 3. Get you more dynamic, so when you do meet the right one, youll have more life experiences under your belt. This also helps cause you may have certain interests that attract certain girls, by broadening your life, you open yourself up to so much more. ---
**Author:** ![97\_B18b1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/cdc98d/32.png) [@97\_B18b1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/97_B18b1)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:35am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/23 "2010-02-10T07:35:21Z")
this is how i got into photography lol > [@Penfold](#): > > I can’t help specifically as I have not been through something like that, but I find that when I generally feel depressed/isolated jumping into a hobby really helps. Find something to be passionate about to fill your time. > > Obviously it is not going to replace companionship in the long run, but helps getting through hard times. ---
**Author:** ![boosting4me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@boosting4me](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boosting4me)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:42am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/24 "2010-02-10T07:42:26Z")
chances are you will get back together ---
**Author:** ![Carnut](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/carnut/32/7590_2.png) [@Carnut](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/25 "2010-02-10T07:54:55Z")
I cried like a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Coldaccord](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/coldaccord/32/7272_2.png) [@Coldaccord](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Coldaccord)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:58am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/26 "2010-02-10T07:58:10Z")
its already been said, but surround yourself with good friends constantly. keep busy, do fun activities (karting on NFB, climbing center if you can, mini golf, whatever). to be honest when I’m really down and out that’s been the best thing, just go out and have a good time with friends. helps me realize they’ll always be there for me even if the girl isn’t, and that will never change ---
**Author:** ![boosting4me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@boosting4me](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boosting4me)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:02am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/27 "2010-02-10T08:02:01Z")
boxing or a violent sport will work to 🙂 or buy a dsm you will have so many headaches you will forget all about it ---
**Author:** ![PureXTC](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/purextc/32/5223_2.png) [@PureXTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/PureXTC)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:02am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/28 "2010-02-10T08:02:18Z")
> [@boosting4me](#): > > chances are you will get back together In which case dont do it! It will end the same way and leave you crushed all over again. ---
**Author:** ![FoxyHonda](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/foxyhonda/32/5425_2.png) [@FoxyHonda](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/FoxyHonda)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/29 "2010-02-10T08:04:46Z")
You’re always more than welcome to come hang out with us Karter… 🙂 We’ll throw you in a car and you can come crash and bash shit with us at Holland every weekend, take out some anger and get your mind off of it. :burnout: ---
**Author:** ![Anonymity](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/anonymity/32/7215_2.png) [@Anonymity](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Anonymity)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/30 "2010-02-10T08:07:34Z")
> [@Food on planes?](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/food-on-planes/78680/13): > > She’s from Texas, going to visit family, of whom I despise, so I’m not going. is wrong, you just have to respect them… all in-laws turn in to monsters! respect that they gave her to you, they dont respect you for taking you from them. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/31 "2010-02-10T08:09:08Z")
Shit, was this my computer’s fault? lol See avatar, make, and spend, more money. You’d be surprised how much cool shit there is out there to entertain you. Hang out with some bros you always thought were aight but never chilled with. ---
**Author:** ![Carnut](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/carnut/32/7590_2.png) [@Carnut](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:12am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/32 "2010-02-10T08:12:34Z")
> [@Anonymity](#): > > Well, I am not the typical male. I would ask for forgiveness, beg for mercy, dont go to family and friends they are one sided, you need someone to setp in. Someone not to take sides, there is your story, her story, then there is the truth. > > Both of you need to move on, and for get the past and look into the future. NOW you have to think about what future you want. I have made choices my family and friends might not have… and that is why they didnt help. > > but also say stuff like this: > > is wrong, you just have to respect them… all in-laws turn in to monsters! respect that they gave her to you, they dont respect you for taking you from them. Fuck that. Go to the gym, focus on you. Do what makes you happy call it a day. When you surround yourself with positive energy, positive things happen to you! Take control of your life. ---
**Author:** ![97FormulaWS-6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/97formulaws-6/32/7384_2.png) [@97FormulaWS-6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/97FormulaWS-6)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/33 "2010-02-10T08:14:13Z")
> [@Carnut](#): > > Fuck that. Go to the gym, focus on you. Do what makes you happy call it a day. When you surround yourself with positive energy, positive things happen to you! Take control of your life. :bigtup: exactly!!! ---
**Author:** ![PureXTC](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/purextc/32/5223_2.png) [@PureXTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/PureXTC)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/34 "2010-02-10T08:14:14Z")
Why did she leave you in the first place? Did she just grow bored with you or did you get caught cheating or something? ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:15am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/35 "2010-02-10T08:15:04Z")
Going to the gym doesn’t make most people happy. It’s a necessary evil. ---
**Author:** ![97FormulaWS-6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/97formulaws-6/32/7384_2.png) [@97FormulaWS-6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/97FormulaWS-6)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/36 "2010-02-10T08:18:00Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > Going to the gym doesn’t make most people happy. It’s a necessary evil. But it also has a side effect of making you feel better and making you focus on something other than that part of your life… at least it does for me. ---
**Author:** ![Carnut](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/carnut/32/7590_2.png) [@Carnut](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/37 "2010-02-10T08:18:17Z")
Going to the gym makes me happy for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/38 "2010-02-10T08:18:24Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > Going to the gym doesn’t make most people happy. It’s a necessary evil. i love going to the gym ---
**Author:** ![Z28pr0jekt](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/z28pr0jekt/32/5393_2.png) [@Z28pr0jekt](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Z28pr0jekt)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/39 "2010-02-10T08:19:52Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > Going to the gym doesn’t make most people happy. It’s a necessary evil. Not necessarily true… I mean if you’re just lazy and ridiculously out of shape then yea it wont be enjoyable. Otherwise, realizing gains in strength and physical appearance are definitely pleasing experiences. It’s always satisfying to go back to the gym and realize you can do more reps/weight than previously. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162/40 "2010-02-10T08:20:27Z")
So if you could get the same results by doing nothing you’d still go? Reason I’m asking is I’ve seen friends in this situation end up in the “All I do is work, sleep, eat, and go to the gym” routine. They were miserable. [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162.md?page=1) [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/divorced-how-did-you-deal-with-it-now-with-more-drama/79162.md?page=3)