# Ever have a roommate that doesn't pull his own weight? **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [January 12, 2010, 10:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110 "2010-01-12T10:57:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BOBBYGRV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BOBBYGRV](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BOBBYGRV)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 10:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/1 "2010-01-12T10:57:53Z")
So recently i moved in with my best friends brother who bought a house. Its a 3 bdrm house with just the 2 of us right now and he’s single and i have my girlfriend of 6 months on thursday. Now my dilemma is, he just doesn’t pull his weight in buying food, he doesnt have a computer and nags me to use mine constantly. He recently got a DWI and lost his license. Now it seems like I’m suppose to suffer because of his dumbass drinking and driving and getting into an accident. I understand it’s his house and all, but I pay my rent and I pay it on time. i shouldn’t have to buy him food, let him use my computer constantly and everything else that he tries to use me for. Has anybody been in this situation before and can maybe help me out here? I don’t want to argue with him and I really don’t want to move out, but it’s almost to that point right now. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/2 "2010-01-12T11:01:32Z")
I’m in the opposite situation, I’m the owner and my roommates pay me rent. They never want to clean or buy anything that isn’t in their rooms because “I’m the owner.” Great, if you go rent an apartment your landlord isn’t going to be cleaning your kitchean and bathroom for you. It sucks. ---
**Author:** ![pirite](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pirite/32/5308_2.png) [@pirite](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/pirite)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:04am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/3 "2010-01-12T11:04:14Z")
my sister had an issue like this with a room mate. she moved out. ---
**Author:** ![BOBBYGRV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BOBBYGRV](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BOBBYGRV)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:05am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/4 "2010-01-12T11:05:55Z")
Thats the thing. He expects me to help him renovate and build all this shit and I have no interest in doing that. If he wants to take it off my rent, fine. But he doesnt and he doesnt have a life, no girlfriend, no friends. He doesnt make an attempt to meet new people and have a life and just bugs my gf and i whenever we hang out. We try to cook dinner, he sits at the table and talks until i ask him to leave us alone. He plays my xbox under my name that i pay for every month playing halo nonstop. i told him i was going to cancel xbox becuase i dont play anymore and he said we should cancel the internet then becuase i dont let him use my computer so he has no use for it anymore. He is older than I am and it just pisses me off that he constantly tries to use me. Right now hes bugging me to use my computer so he can go online to look at light fixtures on home depot and talk to some skank with 3 kids on facebook that he is obsessed with. ---
**Author:** ![burnt\_toast](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/burnt_toast/32/7518_2.png) [@burnt\_toast](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/burnt_toast)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/5 "2010-01-12T11:07:24Z")
move out. ---
**Author:** ![Penfold](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/penfold/32/5007_2.png) [@Penfold](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Penfold)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/6 "2010-01-12T11:07:41Z")
move out as soon as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Clean\_Baldy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/clean_baldy/32/7308_2.png) [@Clean\_Baldy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Clean_Baldy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:08am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/7 "2010-01-12T11:08:04Z")
Now, to answer the OP question on whether it is fair, I say HELLLLL NO! Sounds like a classic case of enabler and co-dependant. Give this a read and tell me if you sound like the enabler and he sounds like the co-dependant. Just the story about your X-Box made it clear… [http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/counselingarchive-enabler-and-codependency.asp](http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/counselingarchive-enabler-and-codependency.asp) If I get pissed about buying my own girlfriend food all the time, I’d never put up for someone eating my food when I’m not getting some sort of satisfying return on my investment. Then, he asks to use your computer as well? Tell him to use his unemployment money, go to [techbargains.com](http://techbargains.com) and buy a $399 dell laptop. He can mooch off of your wireless internet all he wants… that doesn’t affect you. You’re paying rent. Why should you have to take care of your land lord’s needs, unless it’s written in some sort of agreement in your lease terms. Stop being an enabler by letting it happen. He clearly is acting co-dependant on your assets and property, but you’re also letting the behavior continue. You need to step up to him and tell him no since you are clearly not comfortable with it. You’ve really got to tell him “Listen, I’m not your wife I’m your roommate. You do not get to harrass me, ask me for stuff and think we’re best friends. You’ve got to take responsibility for your own actions and leave me and my girlfriend alone with this petty bullshit.” ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:08am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/8 "2010-01-12T11:08:15Z")
Shit, we should make a trade ---
**Author:** ![d3x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8491ac/32.png) [@d3x](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/d3x)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/9 "2010-01-12T11:11:13Z")
fuck having a roommate…get your own place. ---
**Author:** ![Paulo](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/paulo/32/7328_2.png) [@Paulo](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Paulo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/10 "2010-01-12T11:11:53Z")
Be honest, and tell him what you think with confidence. Don’t be a dick when you say it, just explain calmly what you think of the situation. Tell him if that he can’t handle it, and doesn’t want to be mature/professional about it, then you’re going to have to find a new place. Honestly though, it sounds like you just moved in with the wrong person and might want to find other places to live. ---
**Author:** ![drvnkd](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/drvnkd/32/109615_2.png) [@drvnkd](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/drvnkd)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:12am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/11 "2010-01-12T11:12:05Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > I’m in the opposite situation, I’m the owner and my roommates pay me rent. They never want to clean or buy anything that isn’t in their rooms because “I’m the owner.” Great, if you go rent an apartment your landlord isn’t going to be cleaning your kitchean and bathroom for you. It sucks. Rent’s due… And it’s going UP. Get a discount by doing shit. ex. rent = $500 or 400 if you act like a grown up. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:13am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/12 "2010-01-12T11:13:42Z")
lol, that’s actually what I had to do. :bloated: Raised the rent $50 then offered a $50 discount if the one actually cleans the kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![9c1](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/9c1/32/7392_2.png) [@9c1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/9c1)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:15am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/13 "2010-01-12T11:15:04Z")
> [@d3x](#): > > fuck having a roommate…get your own place. THIS. I hate how much it costs me to live alone, but when I compare it to how much I hated having someone else in the house, I’m OK with the extra expense. ---
**Author:** ![BOBBYGRV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BOBBYGRV](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BOBBYGRV)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/14 "2010-01-12T11:18:00Z")
the thing is, I just got let go from my job and my rent is dirt cheap. I pay 250+ utilities which comes out to $400. Right now i cant afford to make the move. ---
**Author:** ![BOBBYGRV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BOBBYGRV](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BOBBYGRV)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/15 "2010-01-12T11:19:27Z")
I would love nothing more than to live on my own, but right now I just cant swing it and I’m backed in to a corner. I guess I just need to nut up and tell him whats going on. I have made comments that I thought he would have gotten the point, but i guess it hasn’t worked. ---
**Author:** ![Clean\_Baldy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/clean_baldy/32/7308_2.png) [@Clean\_Baldy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Clean_Baldy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/16 "2010-01-12T11:19:41Z")
> [@bobbyg1243](#): > > the thing is, I just got let go from my job and my rent is dirt cheap. I pay 250+ utilities which comes out to $400. Right now i cant afford to make the move. NYS Unemployment = up to $405/week. A WEEK. Does not compute. My girlfriend got let go of her waitress job once and was getting $300/week and was making only $20k/yr! So, unless you worked at BK making minimum wage I’m sure that the unemployment insurance check will more than pay rent at your own place… and then some… ---
**Author:** ![Penfold](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/penfold/32/5007_2.png) [@Penfold](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Penfold)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:20am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/17 "2010-01-12T11:20:09Z")
I live in a similar situation and only pay $200 with utilities and I am moving out. Its not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![BOBBYGRV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BOBBYGRV](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BOBBYGRV)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:20am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/18 "2010-01-12T11:20:32Z")
I only get $220 a week 400-rent 100-cell phone 50- insurance $550 for expenses leaves me with $330 left. I guess i could do it, but it would be very close and then I have to figure in the money that goes up for utilities on my own. ---
**Author:** ![Clean\_Baldy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/clean_baldy/32/7308_2.png) [@Clean\_Baldy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Clean_Baldy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:21am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/19 "2010-01-12T11:21:37Z")
> [@bobbyg1243](#): > > I would love nothing more than to live on my own, but right now I just cant swing it and I’m backed in to a corner. I guess I just need to nut up and tell him whats going on. I have made comments that I thought he would have gotten the point, but i guess it hasn’t worked. Co-dependant people think irrationally. He could have heard your comment and then the next time he asked, you caved… so, he didn’t take you seriously and you enabled him to keep asking. You’re in a bad situation as living with this loser who has no gf or friends, he probably is treating you like his gf/wife. LOL ---
**Author:** ![BOBBYGRV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BOBBYGRV](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BOBBYGRV)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2010, 11:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110/20 "2010-01-12T11:24:39Z")
LOL thats exactly true. I feel like I’m complaining about my spouse right now. [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ever-have-a-roommate-that-doesnt-pull-his-own-weight/78110.md?page=2)