# F\*cking weaksauce **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [August 27, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935 "2008-08-27T07:57:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![fbrendan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:21am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/21 "2008-08-27T08:21:04Z")
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it ‘the terminator’. First I crouch down in the shower in the classic ‘naked terminator traveling through time’ pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Dex](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dex/32/7210_2.png) [@Dex](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:23am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/22 "2008-08-27T08:23:11Z")
> [@fbrendan](#): > > I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it ‘the terminator’. First I crouch down in the shower in the classic ‘naked terminator traveling through time’ pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy. my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching this vid, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. There’s not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was… it was like she didn’t just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons. I don’t really don’t know what else to say. ---
**Author:** ![fbrendan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/23 "2008-08-27T08:26:20Z")
It’s always been a fantasy of mine to be a sex slave for 2 bears, male and female, pleasing the male when she’s tired, and vice versa. Slowly sliding my lips up and down his thick shaft, tasting his pre-cum on my toungue. Once he’s had enough of that, he rolls over onto his back, lifting me up as though I weighed nothing. Gently placing me on his cock, I guide him in, feeling him stretch me wide open. I moan with pleasure, feeling him fill me up. He growls softly, I feel it rumble deep in his chest, vibrating all the way down his body and through mine. He continues to lift me up and then pull me down. He’s doing all the work for me, it feels so good, the warmth of the fur, his paws either side of my waist. He is in total control, I’m just nothing comapared to his vast size and strength, but I have total trust in him, I know he won’t hurt me. I feel the pace quicken, almost imperceptibly. I slowly stroke myself, feeling myself nearing the point of no return coming closer with every stroke. I can hear the growl getting louder now, he speeds up even more, forcing me further and further down onto his thick cock. If it wasn’t for the fact I my body is reasing so many endorphines, I would probably be screaming in agony. Except I am panting and whining, just like a bitch, begging her mate to fill her up. His claws dig in deeper, the pain, it’s excsquisite. It sends me over the edge. My head goes back, I let out a short grunt, I feel my cock explode, covering his chest fur in my seed. I keep stroking, it looks as though I’m trying to rip my cock out. I let out another grunt, another torrent flows forth, then another and another. A drop lands on the beasts muzzle. He seems confused for a moment. That’s what I think. He digs his paws in even harder now and slams me onto his cock, I feel his grumble turn into a roar. He’s cumming, oh my god. I can feel in, filling me up. It’s undescribable. He’s mating with me, he’s claimed me. I feel him slow, his cock still throbbing within me, it seems as though there’s no more room for his cum. It’s dripping out of me, onto his fur. I reach down, then bring my hand up, tasting him. It’s more than I ever expected. It’s heaven. beartxt \> \* ---
**Author:** ![slowtalon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/slowtalon/32/7205_2.png) [@slowtalon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/slowtalon)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/24 "2008-08-27T08:26:22Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching this vid, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. > > There’s not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was… it was like she didn’t just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons. > > I don’t really don’t know what else to say. WTF i cant stop laughing at this ---
**Author:** ![chino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bcef8e/32.png) [@chino](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/chino)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:28am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/25 "2008-08-27T08:28:06Z")
> [@fbrendan](#): > > beartxt \> \* amen. ---
**Author:** ![Dex](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dex/32/7210_2.png) [@Dex](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/26 "2008-08-27T08:29:54Z")
IF YOU WAS SHOT 2MORROW…I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA FUKER THAT KILLED U! …_…|…\_\_\_\_**, , …/ `—----**|]= …/_==o;;;;;;;;**_.😕 …), —.(() / …// (…) ), ----" …//// …//_// .//**\_// WE TRUE HOMIES WE RIDE TOGETHER WE DIE TOGETHER send this GUN to every thread you care about including this one if you care. Count how many times you get this, if you get a 13 your A TRUE HOMIE ---
**Author:** ![fbrendan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/27 "2008-08-27T08:30:17Z")
IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULD BE UPSET BUT I WOULDN’T RESORT TO VIGILANTE JUSTICE! …_…|…\_\_\_\_**, , …/ `—----**|] = = = D …/_==o;;;;;;;;**_.😕 …), —.(() / …// (…) ), ----" …//// …//_// .//**\_// VIOLENCE DOESNT SOLVE NETHING NIGGA HAVE A GREAT DAY ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/28 "2008-08-27T08:32:08Z")
/" |./| | | | | |\>~\<| | | /’| |/’… /~| | | | | =[@]= | | | | | | | | ~ ~ ~ ~ |`) | / \ / \ / \ _____ / |--//''`–| | (( +==)) | |–\_|\_//–| ---
**Author:** ![EvilJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a5b964/32.png) [@EvilJay](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/EvilJay)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:34am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/29 "2008-08-27T08:34:48Z")
![http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c303/liesinsam/Guess_Who_Jackson.jpg](http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c303/liesinsam/Guess_Who_Jackson.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![boxxa](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boxxa/32/5045_2.png) [@boxxa](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boxxa)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:35am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/30 "2008-08-27T08:35:22Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it. :bigclap: ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/31 "2008-08-27T08:37:06Z")
She is 13. Just being an immature bitch and driving me insane. I was trying to sleep and she was making all sorts of noise and playin her shitty emo fggt music really loud and arguing with my mom and yelling and shit. Just being a 13 yr old bitch I guess lol. I’m all loopy as fuck on this caugh syrup shit they gave me with Hydrocodone in it so yeah…I forgot I made this thread lmfao. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/32 "2008-08-27T08:37:40Z")
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, So tell me what you want, what you really really want, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha. If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever friendship never ends, If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is. ---
**Author:** ![eclipsed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbce88/32.png) [@eclipsed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/eclipsed)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/33 "2008-08-27T08:38:16Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, > So tell me what you want, what you really really want, > I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really > really really wanna zigazig ha. > > If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, > Make it last forever friendship never ends, > If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, > Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is. +karma ILI ---
**Author:** ![fbrendan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/34 "2008-08-27T08:39:03Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it. The first time my mother walked in on me jerking off, she didn’t freak out or anything like that. What she did do was insist that for her peace of mind, that she demonstrate how to place a condom on properly. So she went to her room and returned with one, sat down beside me on my bed, and kind of pressed on my tummy motioning me to lean back some. I did as she asked as she proceeded to open the condom. I figured this is weird but I’ll just put it on fast and get it over with. Well, I was wrong, it became apparent that she had every intention of putting it on me herself. I just watched as she rolled my foreskin back, and telling me that this was proper because otherwise the condom could slip off. Then she started to slip it on. She had to flip it over because she had it the wrong way, but she very easily had it run down my cock and to the base. Well, that was all it took, that one downward motion. I was cumming in the condom as I was apologizing profusely, implying that it was part her fault because she came in at a bad time. She just smiled and patted my tummy, and said something like “well, at least you didn’t make a mess.” She got up and left at this point, leaving me to wonder wtf just happened. ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/35 "2008-08-27T08:39:15Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, > So tell me what you want, what you really really want, > I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really > really really wanna zigazig ha. > > If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, > Make it last forever friendship never ends, > If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, > Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is. :bigclap: lmfao ---
**Author:** ![Gus](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/gus/32/5112_2.png) [@Gus](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Gus)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/36 "2008-08-27T08:39:19Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, > So tell me what you want, what you really really want, > I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really > really really wanna zigazig ha. > > If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, > Make it last forever friendship never ends, > If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, > Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is. Jegs sister from 1997 called, she wants her mix back fyi. lol ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/37 "2008-08-27T08:41:10Z")
close lol…she was born in 94 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Dex](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dex/32/7210_2.png) [@Dex](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dex)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/38 "2008-08-27T08:41:14Z")
> [@JEG](#): > > She is 13. Just being an immature bitch and driving me insane. I was trying to sleep and she was making all sorts of noise and playin her shitty emo fggt music really loud and arguing with my mom and yelling and shit. Just being a 13 yr old bitch I guess lol. I’m all loopy as fuck on this caugh syrup shit they gave me with Hydrocodone in it so yeah…I forgot I made this thread lmfao. omg lol hydro sizzurp. lololololololololololondon. rofl lmfao. srsly tho bro, i’m sorry you have it so rough with your sister. bitches just don’t get it sometime. ---
**Author:** ![boxxa](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boxxa/32/5045_2.png) [@boxxa](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boxxa)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:42am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/39 "2008-08-27T08:42:19Z")
> [@fbrendan](#): > > The first time my mother walked in on me jerking off, she didn’t freak out or anything like that. What she did do was insist that for her peace of mind, that she demonstrate how to place a condom on properly. > > So she went to her room and returned with one, sat down beside me on my bed, and kind of pressed on my tummy motioning me to lean back some. I did as she asked as she proceeded to open the condom. I figured this is weird but I’ll just put it on fast and get it over with. > > Well, I was wrong, it became apparent that she had every intention of putting it on me herself. I just watched as she rolled my foreskin back, and telling me that this was proper because otherwise the condom could slip off. Then she started to slip it on. She had to flip it over because she had it the wrong way, but she very easily had it run down my cock and to the base. > > Well, that was all it took, that one downward motion. I was cumming in the condom as I was apologizing profusely, implying that it was part her fault because she came in at a bad time. > > She just smiled and patted my tummy, and said something like “well, at least you didn’t make a mess.” She got up and left at this point, leaving me to wonder wtf just happened. You are sick. But that did give me a boner. ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 8:45am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935/40 "2008-08-27T08:45:48Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > omg lol hydro sizzurp. lololololololololololondon. rofl lmfao. > > srsly tho bro, i’m sorry you have it so rough with your sister. bitches just don’t get it sometime. Yeah she is the youngest so she is like…the princess. She was sittin there callin me a fagget and a queer and shit becuase I wouldnt get up to help her clean (I was like hacking up a fucking lung lol), and I called her a bitch, so my mom fuckin flips shit on me. its ok though…I’ll get her back. Friday is her birthday and she is having like 12 of her little 14 yr old friends over, all of whome have like huge crushes on me…I’ll just get wasted and embarris the fuck out of her lmfao. kids dont forget lol. [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935.md?page=1) [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/f-cking-weaksauce/53935.md?page=3)