# Failures

**URL:** <https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728>\
**Category:** Shift518 Off Topic\
**Created:** [October 23, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728 "2008-10-23T22:04:16Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Jammer](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jammer/32/6349_2.png) [@Jammer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jammer)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/1 "2008-10-23T22:04:16Z")

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LOL, the more you watch it, the funnier it gets!

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**Author:** ![Mk4\_30R\_Ban](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mk4_30r_ban/32/6347_2.png) [@Mk4\_30R\_Ban](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mk4_30R_Ban)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/2 "2008-10-23T22:38:08Z")

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:bowdown :crackup awesome video!

i find myself clicking “REPLAY” still about 20 times later :haha

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**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/3 "2008-10-23T22:39:34Z")

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> [@Mk4 30R](#):
>
> :bowdown :crackup awesome video!
> 
> i find myself clicking “REPLAY” still about 20 times later :haha

:+1

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**Author:** ![Jammer](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jammer/32/6349_2.png) [@Jammer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jammer)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/4 "2008-10-23T23:05:31Z")

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ummm… Is this one of our Mods here?

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA) :mwahaha

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**Author:** ![xreaction](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/xreaction/32/6409_2.png) [@xreaction](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/xreaction)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:07pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/5 "2008-10-23T23:07:06Z")

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another epic failure :crackup

[youtube=425,350]\<object width=“425” height=“344”\>\<param name=“movie” value=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1)”\>\</param\>\<param name=“allowFullScreen” value=“true”\>\</param\>\<embed src=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1)” type=“application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=“true” width=“425” height=“344”\>\</embed\>\</object\>[/youtube]

:🙂  
[youtube=425,350]\<object width=“425” height=“344”\>\<param name=“movie” value=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/OGZuOlbbLYA&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/OGZuOlbbLYA&hl=en&fs=1)”\>\</param\>\<param name=“allowFullScreen” value=“true”\>\</param\>\<embed src=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/OGZuOlbbLYA&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/OGZuOlbbLYA&hl=en&fs=1)” type=“application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=“true” width=“425” height=“344”\>\</embed\>\</object\>[/youtube]

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mk4\_30R\_Ban](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mk4_30r_ban/32/6347_2.png) [@Mk4\_30R\_Ban](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mk4_30R_Ban)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:07pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/6 "2008-10-23T23:07:45Z")

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> [@Jammer](#):
>
> ummm… Is this one of our Mods here?
> 
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA) :mwahaha

wow, that kid is bonkers. if that was my kid, he would be ball gagged and thrown into a dungeon.

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**Author:** ![Hooked\_on\_240](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Hooked\_on\_240](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Hooked_on_240)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/7 "2008-10-23T23:16:04Z")

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> [@xreaction122](#):
>
> another epic failure :crackup
> 
> [youtube=425,350]\<object width=“425” height=“344”\>\<param name=“movie” value=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1)”\>\</param\>\<param name=“allowFullScreen” value=“true”\>\</param\>\<embed src=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/Uhula09ft0o&hl=en&fs=1)” type=“application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=“true” width=“425” height=“344”\>\</embed\>\</object\>[/youtube]

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl 0:18-0:28

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jammer](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jammer/32/6349_2.png) [@Jammer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jammer)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/8 "2008-10-23T23:18:49Z")

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Keep the fails comin! Post your fav.

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**Author:** ![Hooked\_on\_240](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Hooked\_on\_240](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Hooked_on_240)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/9 "2008-10-23T23:23:31Z")

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> [@Jammer](#):
>
> Keep the fails comin! Post your fav.

[http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=4818.0](http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=4818.0)  
[http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=2202.0](http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=2202.0)  
[http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=2603.0](http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=2603.0)  
[http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=1597.0](http://shift518.gom-host.com/index.php?topic=1597.0)  
  
:ninja

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**Author:** ![xreaction](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/xreaction/32/6409_2.png) [@xreaction](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/xreaction)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:26pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/10 "2008-10-23T23:26:47Z")

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> [@Jammer](#):
>
> ummm… Is this one of our Mods here?
> 
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA) :mwahaha

i dont understand how the mom stays calm after getting bitch slapped by his kid :nuts

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**Author:** ![Jammer](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jammer/32/6349_2.png) [@Jammer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jammer)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/11 "2008-10-23T23:30:35Z")

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One more… [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXkv6ZR3TSg&feature=related](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXkv6ZR3TSg&feature=related)

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**Author:** ![Hooked\_on\_240](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Hooked\_on\_240](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Hooked_on_240)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/12 "2008-10-23T23:35:27Z")

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> [@Jammer](#):
>
> One more… [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXkv6ZR3TSg&feature=related](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXkv6ZR3TSg&feature=related)

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcxbl\_ntuOY&feature=related](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcxbl_ntuOY&feature=related) :smile

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**Author:** ![smithsteg](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/smithsteg/32/6379_2.png) [@smithsteg](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/smithsteg)\
**Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 6:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/13 "2008-10-24T06:00:23Z")

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head shot

  
:crackup :crackup

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**Author:** ![Vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@Vandal](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vandal)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:24pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/14 "2008-10-25T16:24:48Z")

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Sex fail from my local paper.

Newburgh firefighter performs delicate operation to save man’s penis  
Victim, 73, had metal pipe attached to penis  
Text Size: A | A | A  
Print this Article Email this Article

By Doyle Murphy  
Times Herald-Record  
October 25, 2008  
CITY OF NEWBURGH — A Newburgh firefighter became an ad hoc surgeon Friday, called upon to use a pneumatic saw to cut a piece of steel pipe off a 73-year-old man’s penis.

Firefighters were dispatched to the Newburgh campus of St. Luke’s Cornwall Hospital shortly after 9 p.m. for a public service call, Assistant Fire Chief Scott Mandoske said. Hospital personnel asked them for tools to cut off a ring. The fire department has a ring cutter used to clip wedding bands from swollen fingers, but firefighters learned that wouldn’t be enough. The pipe was an inch long, an inch in diameter and made of quarter-inch-thick steel.

Authorities said the pipe was apparently an erotic aid, but did not elaborate.

Medical personnel weren’t able to perform typical medical procedures, such as forcing blood from one side of the penis to the other in order to pull the pipe off. The man’s penis had swollen and turned purple.

Mandoske said firefighters chose a “wizzer saw” for the job. The wizzer saw is an automotive tool, powered with air bottles and adopted by emergency responders who frequently deal with car crashes. Firefighters use it more commonly to saw off mufflers.  
This was to be a more delicate operation.

Hospital staff prepared the man, who was unidentified, by wrapping the skin and sliding a lubricated tongue depressor between the pipe and the man’s penis to protect him. A doctor, nurses and a paramedic gathered in the Emergency Room as a firefighter – “one of the new guys” – prepared to begin the operation.  
“Just don’t cut it off,” the senior citizen reportedly said.

For more than 90 minutes, the firefighter sawed bit by bit into the pipe, pausing occasionally to cool the saw. The time duration was critical, Mandoske said. Hospital staff worried the man could lose his penis if blood circulation was cut off too long.

The wizzer saw emptied the first bottle of air and then a second. Finally, after five air bottles, the saw clipped through the final bit of pipe, and they were able to free the man. He was apparently unharmed by the operation, Mandoske said, although the assistant chief didn’t press for details.

[dmurphy@th-record.com](mailto:dmurphy@th-record.com)

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![K20power](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/41988e/32.png) [@K20power](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/K20power)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/15 "2008-10-25T16:28:01Z")

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:rofl WTF?!?! :lmao

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**Author:** ![n\_cole](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/n_cole/32/6382_2.png) [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/16 "2008-10-25T16:33:34Z")

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> [@Jammer](#):
>
> ummm… Is this one of our Mods here?
> 
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vQASUdUoHA) :mwahaha

Looks just like Benny!! :rofl :crackup

Did anyone watch the video with the pink gym ball after the first one? Looks staged, like its the same kid doing it on purpose.

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**Author:** ![n\_cole](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/n_cole/32/6382_2.png) [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/17 "2008-10-25T16:34:36Z")

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Oh man, I just finished this video with the little fat angry kid… I would MURDER my kid if they were ever like that. But then again, they would NEVER be like that.

Edit: Somehow though, I feel like that kid might have a point with some of the stuff he’s saying… she probably is a wicked bitch to him most of the time, and she’s probably trying to act all perfect so Dr. Phil doesn’t tear her up on National TV.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JClark](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jclark/32/6309_2.png) [@JClark](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JClark)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/18 "2008-10-25T16:40:01Z")

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[youtube=425,350]\<object width=“425” height=“344”\>\<param name=“movie” value=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/p0OJcZ\_m6dc&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/p0OJcZ_m6dc&hl=en&fs=1)”\>\</param\>\<param name=“allowFullScreen” value=“true”\>\</param\>\<embed src=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/p0OJcZ\_m6dc&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/p0OJcZ_m6dc&hl=en&fs=1)” type=“application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=“true” width=“425” height=“344”\>\</embed\>\</object\>[/youtube]

.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![n\_cole](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/n_cole/32/6382_2.png) [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/19 "2008-10-25T16:40:37Z")

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:wow

I know I shouldn’t laugh at that little girl getting kicked, but it’s way too funny. PARENTS KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR KIDS! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JClark](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jclark/32/6309_2.png) [@JClark](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JClark)\
**Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/failures/239728/20 "2008-10-25T16:43:23Z")

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Less old man penis, more fail vid.

[youtube=425,350]\<object width=“425” height=“344”\>\<param name=“movie” value=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/LTaTvwl4-28&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/LTaTvwl4-28&hl=en&fs=1)”\>\</param\>\<param name=“allowFullScreen” value=“true”\>\</param\>\<embed src=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/LTaTvwl4-28&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/LTaTvwl4-28&hl=en&fs=1)” type=“application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=“true” width=“425” height=“344”\>\</embed\>\</object\>[/youtube]

[youtube=425,350]\<object width=“425” height=“344”\>\<param name=“movie” value=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/XxGGyVklPHg&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/XxGGyVklPHg&hl=en&fs=1)”\>\</param\>\<param name=“allowFullScreen” value=“true”\>\</param\>\<embed src=“[http://www.youtube.com/v/XxGGyVklPHg&hl=en&fs=1](http://www.youtube.com/v/XxGGyVklPHg&hl=en&fs=1)” type=“application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=“true” width=“425” height=“344”\>\</embed\>\</object\>[/youtube]

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