# First time.... **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [October 15, 2008, 6:52am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477 "2008-10-15T06:52:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 8:47am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/21 "2008-10-15T08:47:34Z")
> [@TheKID](#): > > The diarrhea is tricky because it blows the fuck out of a toilet, but at the same time that shit canNOT wait for no one. leave it for her to clean up too, dirty skanks… ---
**Author:** ![BREETIME](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/breetime/32/5214_2.png) [@BREETIME](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BREETIME)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 8:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/22 "2008-10-15T08:53:49Z")
> [@Just Karter](#): > > would you go into a truck stop and rub bare ass against some strange guys bare ass for 10 minutes? > Because if you wouldnt then you shouldnt use a public toilet, its the same thing. sounds like a family reunion for you truck stops and ass rubbing. yah i dont give a fuck really,i may feel a little remorse if i spray hot mud all over the porcelian. ---
**Author:** ![BuickGN](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/buickgn/32/7200_2.png) [@BuickGN](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BuickGN)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 8:55am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/23 "2008-10-15T08:55:49Z")
wear depends problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![L8APEX1](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/l8apex1/32/7276_2.png) [@L8APEX1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/L8APEX1)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 9:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/24 "2008-10-15T09:07:18Z")
> [@BREETIME](#): > > sounds like a family reunion for you > truck stops and ass rubbing. :roflpicard: ---
**Author:** ![Syrup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@Syrup](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Syrup)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 9:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/25 "2008-10-15T09:22:54Z")
lol boxxa keeps me smiling throughout the days. ---
**Author:** ![boxxa](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boxxa/32/5045_2.png) [@boxxa](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boxxa)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 10:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/26 "2008-10-15T10:26:57Z")
> [@Just Karter](#): > > would you go into a truck stop and rub bare ass against some strange guys bare ass for 10 minutes? > Because if you wouldnt then you shouldnt use a public toilet, its the same thing. Haven’t you watched the shows and stuff that actually talk about how the toilet seat is one of the cleanest parts of the restroom? > [@BREETIME](#): > > sounds like a family reunion for you > truck stops and ass rubbing. > > yah i dont give a fuck really,i may feel a little remorse if i spray hot mud all over the porcelian. :lol: ---
**Author:** ![MOBOOST4U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@MOBOOST4U](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MOBOOST4U)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/27 "2008-10-15T11:18:55Z")
> [@EvilJay](#): > > I don’t understand people that feel weird about pooping… > > It’s the strangest phobia ever. > > I don’t get people that refuse to poop anywhere but at their own homes… Because aside from sheisa (sp) film stars, poop to most, should be considered an unflattering event. It smells, It looks funny, It comes out of a funny place, its always in different forms… What isn’t weird about poop. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Stevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dr.Stevil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dr.Stevil)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/28 "2008-10-15T11:26:02Z")
> I don’t get people that refuse to poop anywhere but at their own homes… used to have that phobia, but got over it (when ya gotta shit… you gotta shit) Still wont dump 'em off at bars and shit though ---
**Author:** ![Quattro\_Krant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ac91a4/32.png) [@Quattro\_Krant](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Quattro_Krant)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:28am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/29 "2008-10-15T11:28:04Z")
> [@boxxa](#): > > well my dilemma is not shitting. i don’t mind that, its more of the blow out your asshole diarrhea type shits that you can hear through the house after eating taco bell or something. > > i have been seeing this girl for about a week and a half and when i went to her house the other night, i downed a double quarter pounder combo and a volcano taco on the way over. i took a quick poop that was quiet but about an hour later, the water power shits came and i sat there in pain holding it the whole time until finally giving in and letting it rip in her house. > > she didnt have air freshener in her bathroom so my only option was to leave the light and fan on and face the akward “Why did you leave the fan on” as I was leaving later that night. I have nothing to say other then :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Seriously though, a 1/2lb of greasy buger and a volcano taco, i had 360 d-spray just reading that ---
**Author:** ![Jam](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jam/32/7235_2.png) [@Jam](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jam)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/30 "2008-10-15T11:37:12Z")
edit- lol super long story… didnt think it would be this long… so the first time i went to my gf’s parents house and actually met them was christmas. we started dating in august, and she would drive to hamburg to hang out with me, i would never go to batavia. so i show up with her at her parents house on christmas day, super hung over from the night before- my dad, my uncle tim and myself thought it would be a great idea to drink almost an entire 1.75 bottle of tanquray the night before so im just sitting on the couch, head in my hands, drinking gatorade with little kids crawling all over me. my head is throbbing. her dad and my uncle are friends (kind of) and he realizes what happened the night before and is relatively cool with it (cool guy just in general too) her mom is the same way and after a few hours suggests i go take a nap. so my gf and i go upstairs, bang one out real quick with her parents below us (ackward) and i almost immediately fall asleep. it is glorious and i wake up a few hours later feeling like a million bucks. go back downstairs, dinner is almost ready, i eat and im really just feeling great. then her dad offers me some scotch. its really hard to say no to a glass of 18 year old scotch, so of course i start drinking again. at this point my cousin (who also lives in batavia) texts me asking me if im at cait’s for xmas, he is going out to a bar and wants to know if we want to come along. after dinner, we go and pick him up at his house, and go to a bar called tf brown’s. i almost forgot to mention, my cousin is a fucking maniac. like a full blown alcoholic. needless to say, i end up getting shitfaced at the bar, like dumb drunk. he keeps feeding me shots, and i cant say no to free booze. we go back to her parents house where we would be spending the night, walk in and her younger brother is playing video games. i attempt to play hockey with him on the playstation and fail miserable. i can barely put together a sentence, much less use a ps2 controller. so we go to bed and i procede to go down on her. i dont really know why, its just something i enjoy doing when im shitfaced and cant really perform. she has the tendency of being rather loud at times, and i really dont care at this point, im a fucking wreck. she finishes, and i must have gotten up a little too quick because i feel like im going to fucking puke, like now. its happening, and there is nothing i can do about it. i jump up, naked and run out of the room, stomping down the hall to the bathroom. fuck putting on clothes, im gonna fucking yack any second now. i barely make it to the bathroom and puke in the toilet without spilling a drop. im good like that. years and years of practice. but now im stuck. what if someone woke up? like her dad?!? im in the bathroom naked… fuck. oh fuck. so i peek outside, and i dont see anyone. i make a stumbling dash for the bedroom and make it. at least i think i did, i didnt look back at all. that was rather embarassing ---
**Author:** ![Willybeen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/willybeen/32/7351_2.png) [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/31 "2008-10-15T11:43:45Z")
depends on the shit I have to take… lol… you can tell if its going to linger before it leaves your body. ---
**Author:** ![MOBOOST4U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@MOBOOST4U](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MOBOOST4U)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/32 "2008-10-15T11:43:55Z")
> [@Dr.Stevil](#): > > used to have that phobia, but got over it (when ya gotta shit… you gotta shit) > > Still wont dump 'em off at bars and shit though So you dint get over it? ---
**Author:** ![Quattro\_Krant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ac91a4/32.png) [@Quattro\_Krant](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Quattro_Krant)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:50am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/33 "2008-10-15T11:50:04Z")
Jam, the scariest part of your story was the fact that you called someone else a manic raging alcholic, that must be one serious raging alchy ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Stevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dr.Stevil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dr.Stevil)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:52am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/34 "2008-10-15T11:52:05Z")
> [@MOBOOST4U](#): > > So you dint get over it? well, it’s more of a sanitary thing most bars tend to have piss all over the toilet seat. ---
**Author:** ![Quattro\_Krant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ac91a4/32.png) [@Quattro\_Krant](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Quattro_Krant)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 12:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/35 "2008-10-15T12:13:53Z")
yes, bar bathrooms are some of the grossest things on the planet. I remember the bathroom at the Atomic, dear god was that scary ---
**Author:** ![Bovice](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bovice/32/5084_2.png) [@Bovice](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bovice)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/36 "2008-10-15T13:11:00Z")
the real test is finding a girl thats not only not grossed out by your shit, but will actually give you some dome shots while taking the shit (i.e blumpkin) ---
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 1:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/37 "2008-10-15T13:20:03Z")
![http://users.adelphia.net/~cdabable/CloggedToilet.png](http://users.adelphia.net/~cdabable/CloggedToilet.png) ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 6:44am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/38 "2008-10-17T06:44:35Z")
Ugh, I just absolutely destroyed my work bathroom because of this. I had a fierce one brewing since about 8pm last night. I could tell it was the kind that if i deposited it in her apartment bathroom, it would earn me the permanent scorn of her 3 roommates. So I just decided to keep drinking cherry bombs and hope it would go away. It did not. I JUST made it into the office this morning, doing the fag walk toward the end, and got it off. I usually play one game of bubble breaker on my phone, this was a 3 gamer. Someone walked in midway through the 2nd game, started coughing and turned back. Luckily, no one saw me walk out. Hopefully it will be clear by the time I come back from vaca on the 29th. ---
**Author:** ![boxxa](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boxxa/32/5045_2.png) [@boxxa](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boxxa)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 7:04am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/39 "2008-10-17T07:04:55Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > Ugh, I just absolutely destroyed my work bathroom because of this. I had a fierce one brewing since about 8pm last night. I could tell it was the kind that if i deposited it in her apartment bathroom, it would earn me the permanent scorn of her 3 roommates. So I just decided to keep drinking cherry bombs and hope it would go away. It did not. I JUST made it into the office this morning, doing the fag walk toward the end, and got it off. I usually play one game of bubble breaker on my phone, this was a 3 gamer. Someone walked in midway through the 2nd game, started coughing and turned back. Luckily, no one saw me walk out. Hopefully it will be clear by the time I come back from vaca on the 29th. Haha ever get lost into a game and realize you have been in there like 20-30 minutes? ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477/40 "2008-10-17T07:07:38Z")
yeah, Sonic the Hedgehog on my other cell used to be a killer for that. I’d end up beating like 6 levels [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/first-time/56477.md?page=1)