# Fmylife.com **URL:** \ **Category:** Shift518 Off Topic\ **Created:** [February 8, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931 "2009-02-08T16:57:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![K20power](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/41988e/32.png) [@K20power](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/K20power)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/1 "2009-02-08T16:57:25Z")
Also came across this on ClubRSX and read some of the posts on the first page and got a good laugh… [http://www.fmylife.com/](http://www.fmylife.com/) :rofl ---
**Author:** ![kramerbuccs24](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/kramerbuccs24/32/6397_2.png) [@kramerbuccs24](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/kramerbuccs24)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/2 "2009-02-08T17:25:39Z")
> Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I’m a guy. FML > Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML. > Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML > Today, my best friend and I were walking down the block. A huge palm branch fell right in front of me, but it wacked her in the face, and I stood there laughing - turns out she’s in a coma. FML > Today, I played games on [Barbie.com](http://Barbie.com) and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML > Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, “I got your best friend pregnant”. FML > Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I’m the captain of the football team. FML Some of these are great :rofl :rofl ---
**Author:** ![NedZ32](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nedz32/32/6393_2.png) [@NedZ32](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/NedZ32)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/3 "2009-02-08T18:34:40Z")
This one made me chuckle Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask “Are you a boy or a girl?” FML ---
**Author:** ![SXY\_TIME](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sxy_time/32/6293_2.png) [@SXY\_TIME](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SXY_TIME)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/4 "2009-02-08T18:39:38Z")
hahahahahaha nice ---
**Author:** ![SXY\_TIME](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sxy_time/32/6293_2.png) [@SXY\_TIME](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SXY_TIME)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/5 "2009-02-08T18:49:52Z")
“Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn’t get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B’s positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I’m still grounded for getting a B. FML” :rofl ---
**Author:** ![Wayne64SS](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/wayne64ss/32/6365_2.png) [@Wayne64SS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Wayne64SS)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/6 "2009-02-08T19:01:02Z")
these r great. ---
**Author:** ![PJB](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pjb/32/6389_2.png) [@PJB](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/PJB)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/7 "2009-02-08T19:04:39Z")
I think that site might exceed its bandwidth if a certain member here starts posting there. ---
**Author:** ![K20power](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/41988e/32.png) [@K20power](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/K20power)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/8 "2009-02-08T19:06:08Z")
> [@FS: Boston Acoustics 10", Alpine 5ch amp](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fs-boston-acoustics-10-alpine-5ch-amp/13395/6): > > I think that site might exceed its bandwidth if a certain member here starts posting there. :rofl nice Paul…that was good ---
**Author:** ![88slowmarro](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/88slowmarro/32/6339_2.png) [@88slowmarro](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/88slowmarro)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/9 "2009-02-08T19:06:40Z")
trav alone would kill it ---
**Author:** ![LKSi](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/lksi/32/6316_2.png) [@LKSi](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/LKSi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/10 "2009-02-08T19:10:42Z")
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said “What asshole can’t take the steps from the 2nd floor?” Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML :rofl ---
**Author:** ![SXY\_TIME](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sxy_time/32/6293_2.png) [@SXY\_TIME](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SXY_TIME)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/11 "2009-02-08T19:13:43Z")
“Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML” hahahahahahahahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![Wayne64SS](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/wayne64ss/32/6365_2.png) [@Wayne64SS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Wayne64SS)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/12 "2009-02-08T20:23:13Z")
ahahah i’m just reading the ones posted here. awesome ---
**Author:** ![votblindub](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/votblindub/32/6280_2.png) [@votblindub](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/votblindub)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 6:28am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/13 "2009-02-09T06:28:30Z")
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says “I love you, Jeremy.” Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend’s wall “Last night was the biggest mistake of my life.” We hooked up last night. FML Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML. haha, oh man. good site. ---
**Author:** ![votblindub](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/votblindub/32/6280_2.png) [@votblindub](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/votblindub)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/14 "2009-02-09T06:42:12Z")
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Shady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Shady](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shady)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 8:23am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/15 "2009-02-09T08:23:30Z")
> Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I’m the captain of the football team. FML > Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied “Oh, too many donuts then?” FML > Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: “oh, so both you and your brother are gay?” FML OMG LAUGHING SO HARD… AHAHHAHAHAA … AHAHAHHAHAHA breath AHAHAHHA 🤣rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl > Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML ---
**Author:** ![HANSTECH](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/hanstech/32/6445_2.png) [@HANSTECH](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/HANSTECH)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 8:27am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/16 "2009-02-09T08:27:10Z")
i cant stop reading them!! so funny ---
**Author:** ![NedZ32](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nedz32/32/6393_2.png) [@NedZ32](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/NedZ32)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 10:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/17 "2009-02-09T10:01:11Z")
lol Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML ---
**Author:** ![smithsteg](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/smithsteg/32/6379_2.png) [@smithsteg](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/smithsteg)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 10:32am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/18 "2009-02-09T10:32:58Z")
hahahaha people are crazy ---
**Author:** ![Code\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ea924/32.png) [@Code\_Blue](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Code_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/19 "2009-02-09T12:36:00Z")
I mist say joey, usually its nonsensical stuff you post, but I’m dying of laughter ---
**Author:** ![K20power](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/41988e/32.png) [@K20power](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/K20power)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 1:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931/20 "2009-02-09T13:33:28Z")
Glad I didn’t disappoint :thumbup [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fmylife-com/241931.md?page=2)