# Full of WIN **URL:** \ **Category:** Shift518 Off Topic\ **Created:** [September 15, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824 "2009-09-15T12:41:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sketchy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sketchy/32/6378_2.png) [@Sketchy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Sketchy)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/1 "2009-09-15T12:41:53Z")
[http://www.textsfromlastnight.com](http://www.textsfromlastnight.com) HAHAAHHAHA ---
**Author:** ![Sully93vr4](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sully93vr4/32/6278_2.png) [@Sully93vr4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Sully93vr4)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/2 "2009-09-15T13:00:41Z")
LMAO///// (571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah… (703): this can’t be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could “punish her pussy”? =\ ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/3 "2009-09-15T13:02:30Z")
that was great haha ---
**Author:** ![Anthony](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/anthony/32/6541_2.png) [@Anthony](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Anthony)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/4 "2009-09-15T13:06:04Z")
🤣rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl (443): told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why? (410): i don’t see why you should, it’s not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks. * * * (571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah… (703): this can’t be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could “punish her pussy”? =\ * * * (602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she’s missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the “expectant mothers” spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. * * * (330): She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating… * * * ``` (778): No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do. ``` * * * (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it’s like. ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/5 "2009-09-15T13:12:46Z")
(312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him ---
**Author:** ![Ilya](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ilya/32/6404_2.png) [@Ilya](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ilya)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:19pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/6 "2009-09-15T13:19:42Z")
(904): I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone’s DNA that’s in me * * * (619): The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there’s nothing wrong with it * * * (864): I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction * * * (540): I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought… (1-540): You at least unplugged it right? Hahahahaa. ---
**Author:** ![deadbeatrec](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/deadbeatrec/32/6401_2.png) [@deadbeatrec](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/deadbeatrec)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/7 "2009-09-15T13:29:31Z")
holy shit! welcome to the internet fellas! :Idiots ---
**Author:** ![Anthony](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/anthony/32/6541_2.png) [@Anthony](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Anthony)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/8 "2009-09-15T13:40:03Z")
I just started laughin so hard when I read this… (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed…do you think that actually works? * * * (434): I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes. (1-434): Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend ---
**Author:** ![99FRC](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/99frc/32/6335_2.png) [@99FRC](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/99FRC)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/9 "2009-09-15T13:49:49Z")
Repost from WAY back. Funny as hell though ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/10 "2009-09-15T13:58:16Z")
(314): So I went on a date with this girl…and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn’t tell me about to afford my bday present. ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 2:00pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/11 "2009-09-15T14:00:51Z")
847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way ---
**Author:** ![Ilya](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ilya/32/6404_2.png) [@Ilya](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ilya)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/12 "2009-09-15T14:02:46Z")
> [@I'll Take "Choke" For $1000 Alex..](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/ill-take-choke-for-1000-alex/23043/4): > > (314): So I went on a date with this girl…and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn’t tell me about to afford my bday present. Owned. ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/13 "2009-09-15T14:08:50Z")
(734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/14 "2009-09-15T14:09:39Z")
WTF (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, “I can has cheeseburger?” and then went back to eating me out. ---
**Author:** ![Shady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Shady](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shady)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/15 "2009-09-15T14:35:28Z")
> [@Gears of War](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/gears-of-war/19756/60): > > WTF > > (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, “I can has cheeseburger?” and then went back to eating me out. 🤣rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl hahahaha ---
**Author:** ![GD3Skier](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/gd3skier/32/6400_2.png) [@GD3Skier](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GD3Skier)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/16 "2009-09-15T14:41:40Z")
## (973): this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg (1-973): gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something? (973): yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him ---
**Author:** ![Shady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Shady](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shady)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/17 "2009-09-15T15:07:23Z")
(818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape (310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape? (818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES :rofl (865): she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn’t take off her bottoms because that would be slutty ^^ Hillarious because I know girls like this (650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I’m showing everyone my penis tonight. ^^ This sounds like elliot (416): Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife’s back…i told her he said face only. (860): He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth (573): I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled “ready or not here I come!” (407): he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag…I couldn’t bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well ---
**Author:** ![sam2](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sam2/32/6360_2.png) [@sam2](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sam2)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/full-of-win/246824/18 "2009-09-15T18:17:50Z")
(818): If he doesn’t notice me by the next party, i’m just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him. (323): Sounds like a plan. lmaoo