# funny story **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [October 18, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/funny-story/3542 "2005-10-18T16:11:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![iamjeff6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@iamjeff6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/iamjeff6)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/funny-story/3542/1 "2005-10-18T16:11:36Z")
while surfing myspace bored as fuck i saw this bulletin and found it funny Never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!” So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?” Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… ---
**Author:** ![walter](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/walter/32/7202_2.png) [@walter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/walter)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/funny-story/3542/2 "2005-10-18T16:25:42Z")
re ---
**Author:** ![Ovrwrkd](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ovrwrkd/32/7586_2.png) [@Ovrwrkd](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ovrwrkd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/funny-story/3542/3 "2005-10-18T17:21:31Z")
post That’s the first time you’ve hear that one??? That’s almost as old as the internet itself. ---
**Author:** ![ly555is](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@ly555is](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ly555is)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/funny-story/3542/4 "2005-10-18T17:59:44Z")
still a good story 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Adictd2b00st](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/adictd2b00st/32/7625_2.png) [@Adictd2b00st](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Adictd2b00st)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/funny-story/3542/5 "2005-10-18T18:04:29Z")
i’ve actually never seen that one before lol