# Handshakes. **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [March 14, 2009, 7:48am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476 "2009-03-14T07:48:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jack](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jack/32/7613_2.png) [@Jack](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jack)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/61 "2009-03-15T20:04:34Z")
> [@AngryHero](#): > > this guy has a good hand shake ^^^. Same to you too. I couldn’t give feedback on the handshake though, only the sale. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cougarspeed](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/cougarspeed/32/7468_2.png) [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/62 "2009-03-15T20:21:27Z")
I typically just look someone in the eyes and give them a solid punch in the face. It immediately establishes myself as the alpha in the situation and avoids any further possible power struggle. Then when I get home at night I masturbate in front of a full length mirror to how amazing I am. But really i go for a firm handshake but the grip crushers are such a joke(compensating for ???) and people who don’t look you in the eye and give dead fish are likely pansys that you can walk all over. ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/63 "2009-03-15T20:38:15Z")
I always get surprised by a girl that gives a strong grip. I purposely try to be gentle when I shake a girls hand, then if a girl gives me a strong grip I’m all like “Whoa do you have a cock too? Got something to prove? Fucking liberated bitch or something?” ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/64 "2009-03-15T20:44:11Z")
Seriously though, a bitch with a manshake is a turnoff. They should extend their hand palm down so that you can grasp their fingers and, if you want, kiss the back of their hand all english-gentleman stylez. Unless in a business setting, where women pretty much have to pretend they’re men anyway. ---
**Author:** ![newman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/newman/32/7569_2.png) [@newman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/newman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/65 "2009-03-16T05:24:45Z")
This thread has a bunch of LOLZ ---
**Author:** ![Zong](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/zong/32/7580_2.png) [@Zong](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Zong)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:03am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/66 "2009-03-16T06:03:01Z")
my handshake is a roundhouse to the chin ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/67 "2009-03-16T06:24:39Z")
I punched a sign in spain, and I think I broke something in my hand right by my wrist. I feel like such a nancy lately cause after a good shake my hand is killing me. 🖕 ---
**Author:** ![walter](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/walter/32/7202_2.png) [@walter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/walter)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/68 "2009-03-16T06:24:58Z")
IMO the people that try to crush your hard are bigger FGGTS than the dead fishers. What the fuck are you trying to prove by contorting yourself to demonstrate that you have a machine grip? Stop being such a pussy, we both know you have a small dick. Dead Fish = El Gay Firm = More Better Super Shake = Super Gay It is about finesse and being able to walk that line between having a good grip and just trying to be a neanderthal moron. ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:05am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/69 "2009-03-16T07:05:33Z")
> [@evolve](#): > > I punched a sign in spain, and I think I broke something in my hand right by my wrist. I feel like such a nancy lately cause after a good shake my hand is killing me. > > 🖕 I dropped an 80 pound paving block on my hand once, cracked a couple of bones. It was probably 2 years before I could shake hands without getting some pretty bad pain in the spot where one of the cracks was. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![yamba6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/yamba6/32/5161_2.png) [@yamba6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/yamba6)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:13am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/70 "2009-03-16T07:13:59Z")
i cant stand when someone goes to give you a handshake and grabs your hand before you fully get in for the handshake, you feel like your a pussy when you then shake. i also cant stand the sweaty handshake, or the pussy handshakes people give ---
**Author:** ![drvnkd](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/drvnkd/32/109615_2.png) [@drvnkd](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/drvnkd)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:27am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/71 "2009-03-16T07:27:12Z")
> [@yeamabu](#): > > i cant stand when someone goes to give you a handshake and grabs your hand before you fully get in for the handshake, you feel like your a pussy when you then shake. I seem to get that one a lot, or people just grab my knuckles and fingers, preventing a decent shake. My boss had a terrible hand shake… On my interviews, it was really weird. I get to talk about how great I am and then I the limp wrist with zero squeeze like I’m a woman handshake. Maybe its because he’s British? My last British boss had the same affliction. I really suck at handshakes as I get so few opportunities with a good one. By the time I do, I’m not expecting it. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/72 "2009-03-16T07:30:54Z")
> [@almostBrett](#): > > i personally enjoy meeting a young girls father and giving him the limpest handshake i possibly can… just wait til one yells out to the daughter, “You better have friend zoned this limp wristed FGGT! I told you you should have stuck with black guys” ---
**Author:** ![RLB](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/rlb/32/5196_2.png) [@RLB](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RLB)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:40am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/73 "2009-03-16T07:40:37Z")
grip it and rip it. ---
**Author:** ![ultradriver10000](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ultradriver10000/32/7397_2.png) [@ultradriver10000](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ultradriver10000)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/74 "2009-03-16T07:43:36Z")
I generally try to give a moderate to heavy squeeze when shaking a mans hand, ensuring a medium web collision, with full thumb lockage. With a girl I try to grab lighter, not have as hard web connection with less thumb interlocking. (While at the same time eye fisting her.) Edit: I also don’t mind a slightly moist hand shake. It really isn’t their fault it is hot as fawk in the conference room is it? As long as it isn’t as if they just washed their hands and didn’t dry them, I don’t have a problem. I guess this is because I’m not a pussy with Mysophobia. When I get the early squeezer / over the top squeezer I ramp up the strength of my own grip. I don’t do it to “win” over the other person, but solely do it to protect my own hand. I don’t want my fingers or hand crushed and feeling sore later that day, especially due to some douche not knowing how to shake. I have shaken hands with many small Asain guys (think Newman) and they give that faggy girl hand shake. I’m guessing they do that because the only other thing they know how to do it bow and then kick your ass. ![http://footinthedoor.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/dead_fish_handshake.gif](http://footinthedoor.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/dead_fish_handshake.gif) I also dislike the double grab. I feel like this is the first step in an all out attack. Don’t do this unless your a priest consoling a grieving family. (If you do I might knee you in the jaw, just saying.) ![http://charsiewpao.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/hand-shake.gif](http://charsiewpao.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/hand-shake.gif) ---
**Author:** ![drvnkd](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/drvnkd/32/109615_2.png) [@drvnkd](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/drvnkd)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/75 "2009-03-16T08:14:32Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > just wait til one yells out to the daughter, “You better have friend zoned this limp wristed FGGT! I told you you should have stuck with black guys” I’m totally stealing that line for my daughters 1st dates. ---
**Author:** ![Dex](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dex/32/7210_2.png) [@Dex](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dex)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/76 "2009-03-16T08:22:30Z")
i shake 400 hands a day. it’s actually annoying but i feel like i have developed a solid hand shake as a result. the worst is when a girl strong arms you. you never see it coming. i usually try to be gentle, but firm with that, but when they crush your hand it throws you off. when that happens, the rest of my interaction with that girl just goes poorly. ---
**Author:** ![Haenszel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e68b1a/32.png) [@Haenszel](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Haenszel)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/77 "2009-03-16T08:24:12Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > the rest of my interaction with that girl just goes poorly. story of your life? ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/78 "2009-03-16T09:35:12Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > i shake 400 hands a day. What do you work at a car dealership or something? ---
**Author:** ![yamba6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/yamba6/32/5161_2.png) [@yamba6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/yamba6)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/79 "2009-03-16T09:43:28Z")
> [@Dex](#): > > i shake 400 hands a day. it’s actually annoying but i feel like i have developed a solid hand shake as a result. the worst is when a girl strong arms you. you never see it coming. i usually try to be gentle, but firm with that, but when they crush your hand it throws you off. when that happens, the rest of my interaction with that girl just goes poorly. so you touch 400 peoples crotches a day! haha congrates! that must suck! :mamoru: ---
**Author:** ![Avatar](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/avatar/32/5076_2.png) [@Avatar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Avatar)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476/80 "2009-03-16T09:43:33Z")
> [@Fry](#): > > Seriously though, a bitch with a manshake is a turnoff. They should extend their hand palm down so that you can grasp their fingers and, if you want, kiss the back of their hand all english-gentleman stylez. Unless in a business setting, where women pretty much have to pretend they’re men anyway. Exactly. [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476.md?page=3) [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/handshakes/64476.md?page=5)