# Home Improvement Rant- The Toilet **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [November 14, 2007, 7:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727 "2007-11-14T07:19:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bing](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bing/32/7211_2.png) [@bing](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/bing)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/1 "2007-11-14T07:19:57Z")
Ok, so the wife and i buy a house and the wife gets to redo the kitchen and bathroom the way she wants it. I basically give her carte blanche (is that the right term?) to do whatever she wants… however, i make one simple request. Can we please get an elongated toilet bowl., I cannot stand when my dick touches the lip of the toilet… SO GROSS!!! it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. Most ‘dick-touch’ is good touch, ‘toilet-bowl-touch’ is bad touch. unghh i get the shivers thinking about it… to try and counteract, i sit further back on the seat… but then you shit above the water line which just makes more work for the wife. Worse still is when you have the runs and somehow the shit actually seems to poo up! getting in places where it would have to have literally come out at a solid 90 angle with some upward momentum. so you would think she would oblige and meet my simple request for an elongated bowl. but she didnt. what the fukk ---
**Author:** ![newman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/newman/32/7569_2.png) [@newman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/newman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:21am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/2 "2007-11-14T07:21:17Z")
![http://engrish.com/image/engrish/toilet-beard-know.jpg](http://engrish.com/image/engrish/toilet-beard-know.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![brent\_strong](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/brent_strong/32/7203_2.png) [@brent\_strong](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/brent_strong)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/3 "2007-11-14T07:22:09Z")
I think it’s now fine for you to never put the seat down when you’re done. ---
**Author:** ![jay940](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/45deac/32.png) [@jay940](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jay940)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/4 "2007-11-14T07:24:36Z")
just shit all over the back of it and tell her you dont like your dick to touch the front. after 1 or 2 times she will get a different toilet ---
**Author:** ![Viper966](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/viper966/32/7268_2.png) [@Viper966](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Viper966)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/5 "2007-11-14T07:26:08Z")
why not just buy the toliet yourself and let her pick the rest ---
**Author:** ![Minglor](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/minglor/32/7373_2.png) [@Minglor](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Minglor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/6 "2007-11-14T07:26:41Z")
[quote=“jay940,post:4,topic:38727"”] just shit all over the back of it and tell her you dont like your dick to touch the front. after 1 or 2 times she will get a different toilet [/quote] No. She just won’t let you shit in her bathroom anymore. ---
**Author:** ![POOPRA](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/poopra/32/7188_2.png) [@POOPRA](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/POOPRA)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/7 "2007-11-14T07:41:22Z")
They dont make a toilet big enough for your huge schlong bing ---
**Author:** ![camarojoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@camarojoe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/camarojoe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 7:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/8 "2007-11-14T07:41:54Z")
So who installed the shitter. No test fits before the install 🙂 Then crap in the kitchen sink. She’ll get the point. ---
**Author:** ![bing](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bing/32/7211_2.png) [@bing](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/bing)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 8:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/9 "2007-11-14T08:19:22Z")
[quote=“jay940,post:4,topic:38727"”] just shit all over the back of it and tell her you dont like your dick to touch the front. after 1 or 2 times she will get a different toilet [/quote] i explained in the first post that i already do that in our current bathroom. the new bathroom hasnt been built yet. apprently the room is not long enough for a bowl that stretches 3" further out. ---
**Author:** ![JustinH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JustinH](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JustinH)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/10 "2007-11-14T13:54:26Z")
As long as your upgrading, get a bidet dude. After trying them out at hotels, its a must have for any home upgrade. ---
**Author:** ![fbrendan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/11 "2007-11-14T13:58:08Z")
well since you are already fucked over. make a habit of pulling it back or just keeping a hand on it? this scenario sucks and is one of the worst things ever. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Violator](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/violator/32/7278_2.png) [@Violator](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Violator)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/12 "2007-11-14T14:02:12Z")
Send the thing back, tell her its gone. End of story… unless she wants you to install a urinal ---
**Author:** ![BuickGN](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/buickgn/32/7200_2.png) [@BuickGN](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/BuickGN)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/13 "2007-11-14T14:03:03Z")
so you sit when u pee? ---
**Author:** ![98SS10](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/98ss10/32/7288_2.png) [@98SS10](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/98SS10)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/14 "2007-11-14T14:04:00Z")
Just buy an elongated seat and mount it on the shitter, it will look polish but will keep yer junk off the seat. ---
**Author:** ![Violator](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/violator/32/7278_2.png) [@Violator](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Violator)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/15 "2007-11-14T14:05:35Z")
> **[BB-1000 Supreme](https://biobidet.com/products/bb1000_supremebidet)** > > Known for the most satisfying water stream, BB-1000 comes with posterior/feminine warm water wash, warm air, warm seat, warm air and patented 3 in 1 nozzle system. bidet, electric bidet, BB-100, heated toilet seat, Supreme bidet, bidets ---
**Author:** ![Violator](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/violator/32/7278_2.png) [@Violator](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Violator)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/16 "2007-11-14T14:06:33Z")
[quote=“98SS10,post:14,topic:38727"”] Just buy an elongated seat and mount it on the shitter, it will look polish but will keep yer junk off the seat. [/quote] that wont do anything to fix the problem… junk is slappin the bowl… not seat ---
**Author:** ![dmoffitt](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dmoffitt/32/7455_2.png) [@dmoffitt](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/dmoffitt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/17 "2007-11-14T14:10:54Z")
I’ve killed bitches for less. Yes, I’m that gangsta… ---
**Author:** ![fbrendan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/18 "2007-11-14T14:11:13Z")
[quote=“BuickGN,post:13,topic:38727"”] so you sit when u pee? [/quote] talking about poopies. ---
**Author:** ![2TurboZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/2turboz/32/7577_2.png) [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/19 "2007-11-14T14:11:51Z")
Wrap it in a sock…someone once told me you were good at that 😛 ---
**Author:** ![chino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bcef8e/32.png) [@chino](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/chino)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727/20 "2007-11-14T14:37:00Z")
lol so much truth in this thread it hurts ! I always feel like I just contracted a STD when you make contact on a public shitter. [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/home-improvement-rant-the-toilet/38727.md?page=2)