# i have to poop
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [May 7, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927 "2007-05-07T12:33:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 1:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/21 "2007-05-07T13:04:17Z")
[quote=“Schema,post:16,topic:28927"”]
If you’re taking a 3 min shit you have issues. Read the back of shampoo or something. Man law says 20 min minimum, even if you’ve been done for the past 15.
[/quote]
Amen. When else can you read the current West Marine catalog, or play Luxor on your phone?
---
### Author:  [@Pass\_McGass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pass_McGass)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 1:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/22 "2007-05-07T13:04:33Z")
[quote=“Schema,post:16,topic:28927"”]
If you’re taking a 3 min shit you have issues. Read the back of shampoo or something. Man law says 20 min minimum, even if you’ve been done for the past 15.
[/quote]
You enjoy the smell of your own feces and the feeling of a cakey asshole, don’t you…
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### Author:  [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 1:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/23 "2007-05-07T13:05:05Z")
[quote=“Pass McGrass,post:22,topic:28927"”]
You enjoy the smell of your own feces and the feeling of a cakey asshole, don’t you…
[/quote]
Touche.
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### Author:  [@JaysGreenLX](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JaysGreenLX)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 1:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/24 "2007-05-07T13:06:49Z")
[quote=“Pass McGrass,post:22,topic:28927"”]
You enjoy the smell of your own feces and the feeling of a cakey asshole, don’t you…
[/quote]
Now that made me laugh. You should never sit on the toilet long enough for your dump to harden on the escape chute.
---
### Author:  [@badazzss](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/badazzss)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/25 "2007-05-07T13:48:55Z")
lol @ this thread.
seriously though, im always on there for at least 15 mins. at work its usually 20-25-30, depending on how craptacular the day is going. no pun intended. and i get pissed if theres no newspaper in the bathroom… OR if there is one, but its on the floor and someone misfired onto it. seriously, do u piss and miss the toilet from a foot away??
the home bathroom is stocked full with maxim, fhm, stuff, etc. the essentials.
---
### Author:  [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/26 "2007-05-07T14:15:36Z")
:lol: Between this and the No Fat Chicks thread, this has been the most quality day NYSpeed OT has had in a while.
+1 for power preaching. I’d rather spend my “me time” polishing the bishop than pinching a loaf.
---
### Author:  [@SHOtime](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SHOtime)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/27 "2007-05-07T14:19:32Z")
this thread is fucking histerical. absolute gold!!!
(PS. Blumpkin…best of both worlds)
---
### Author:  [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/28 "2007-05-07T15:33:43Z")
Im a power shitter. 60 seconds or less.
Usually 10-15 seconds of rocket shit and then the rest is cleaning the firing hole and washing my hands.
In and out in less than 2 minutes.
Rocket shit for life
---
### Author:  [@JaysGreenLX](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JaysGreenLX)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/29 "2007-05-07T15:35:09Z")
[quote=“SHOtime,post:27,topic:28927"”]
(PS. Blumpkin…best of both worlds)
[/quote]
Never had the pleasure…oh well.
My wife doesn’t understand why poop humor is so damn hilarious.
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### Author:  [@Justin](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Justin)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 3:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/30 "2007-05-07T15:55:04Z")
[quote=“Schema,post:16,topic:28927"”]
If you’re taking a 3 min shit you have issues. Read the back of shampoo or something. Man law says 20 min minimum, even if you’ve been done for the past 15.
[/quote]
Truth. 90% of all my reading is done on the throne.
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### Author:  [@ImportMuscle](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ImportMuscle)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/31 "2007-05-07T16:05:03Z")
+1
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### Author:  [@Zong](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Zong)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/32 "2007-05-07T16:31:09Z")
I remember after my third helping of free tacos @ UB freshman orientation my GI tract was not in a good place. I stumbled upon a girl’s bathroom in Red jacket just in time. I was convinced it was empty. It wasn’t. Man that was fucking awkward.
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### Author:  [@87FOXGT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/87FOXGT)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 4:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/33 "2007-05-07T16:50:16Z")
this thread makes me hungry for an el ninooooooooooooooo
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### Author:  [@KraZy\_K](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/KraZy_K)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/34 "2007-05-07T17:45:10Z")
[quote=“87FOXGT,post:15,topic:28927"”]
Kory is that you? :lol:
[/quote]
you got it man
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### Author:  [@redrum](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/redrum)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/35 "2007-05-07T17:53:44Z")
Reading material or a cell phone game is key for a good deuce, but jesus dont read an errant newspaper that you found in the stall. Its going to be covered in everyone elses shit, ball sweat, and piss.
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### Author:  [@KraZy\_K](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/KraZy_K)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/36 "2007-05-07T18:02:42Z")
sometimes i get really hot so i have to get naked to shit…it really helps everything flow nicely. i think everyone should try it and get back to me!!!
😃
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### Author:  [@87FOXGT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/87FOXGT)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/37 "2007-05-07T18:04:32Z")
[quote=“KraZy K,post:34,topic:28927"”]
you got it man
[/quote]
haha rock the fugg on :headbang:
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### Author:  [@Goldenboy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Goldenboy)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/38 "2007-05-07T18:10:53Z")
[quote=“BikerFry,post:26,topic:28927"”]
+1 for power preaching. I’d rather spend my “me time” polishing the bishop than pinching a loaf.
[/quote]
[quote=“KraZy K,post:36,topic:28927"”]
sometimes i get really hot so i have to get naked to shit…it really helps everything flow nicely. i think everyone should try it and get back to me!!!
😃
[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHA
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### Author:  [@psphinx81](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/psphinx81)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/39 "2007-05-07T18:41:10Z")
rofl kory
---
### Author:  [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)
#### Post date: [May 7, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-have-to-poop/28927/40 "2007-05-07T22:29:42Z")
[quote=“Z man,post:32,topic:28927"”]
I remember after my third helping of free tacos @ UB freshman orientation my GI tract was not in a good place. I stumbled upon a girl’s bathroom in Red jacket just in time. I was convinced it was empty. It wasn’t. Man that was fucking awkward.
[/quote]
o man. i lol’ed heartily at this
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