# I would like to introduce you all to Dewey
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [April 15, 2008, 3:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877 "2008-04-15T15:43:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/1 "2008-04-15T15:43:46Z")
Dewey is this fine little edgey bubble that has been dwelling in my driveway for a little over a week. Every morning when I leave…there is Dewey looking miserable and confused…every afternoon when I come home he is still there.
Dewey doesnt belong to me, Dewey shouldnt belong to anyone as I would guess he is unfit for travel.
In fact, Dewey tried to commit suicide just to get away from his mean owner that never does anything beyond budget and poorly thought out DIY repairs.
Now he sits in my driveway just begging to go the car heaven and I want to make this happen. The timing for this couldnt be more right because its Deweys owners birthday this weekend and I want to throw a big big party in his honor and give Dewey the send off he deserves.
So if Dewey is not rescued by his owner by this Friday I will be forced to euthanize him the only way I know how…
Violently and Loudly.
$1.00 Will get you a punch with your hand
$2.00 Will get you a regular hammer swing
$3.00 Will get you a brick to throw at it
$4.00 Will get you a cinder block to throw at it
$5.00 Will get you a boat anchor chain to whip at it
$20.00 Will get you a match and some lighter fluid
$50.00 Will get you 5 Sledge Hammer Swings
$100.00 Will get you a tow rope and you can drag it into stuff
$200.00 Will get you a gallon of gas and 1 match
I give you…
Dewey
I give you his cheap ass more concerned about making sure everyone on myspace, facebook, and text messager knows its his birthday this weekend…
All proceeds will go to the Andy Watt’s A Fucking Bag and is Turning 23!!!OMG2111111!!! Foundation.
Happy B-day Buddy :present:
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### Author:  [@psphinx81](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/psphinx81)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/2 "2008-04-15T15:45:58Z")
omg kyle
LOL classic!
im going to drive the 2 tenths of a mile to your house and shake your hand!
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/3 "2008-04-15T15:49:07Z")
:thankyou:
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### Author:  [@RedConquestTSi](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedConquestTSi)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/4 "2008-04-15T15:50:09Z")
LOLOLOL Can I bring my own gas?
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### Author:  [@MPD47](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MPD47)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/5 "2008-04-15T15:50:44Z")
BWUAHAHAHAHAHHA.
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/6 "2008-04-15T15:51:16Z")
Bringing of your own items is not sanctioned…this will ensure that everyone gets the same opportunity for equal destruction.
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### Author:  [@Karter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Karter)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/7 "2008-04-15T15:52:47Z")
its worth about 200 scrapped if you drop it off haha.
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/8 "2008-04-15T15:54:07Z")
> [@Just Karter](#):
>
> its worth about 200 scrapped if you drop it off haha.
Before or after carnage?
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### Author:  [@Karter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Karter)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/9 "2008-04-15T15:55:32Z")
> [@2TurboZ](#):
>
> Before or after carnage?
i dont think it matters, theres a place in cheek I believe who is paying 225 a ton if you drop it off.
I cant remember the name of the place.
edit/ get the title, someone on here would buy it.
Paging speedped.
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/10 "2008-04-15T15:56:18Z")
> [@Just Karter](#):
>
> i dont think it matters, theres a place in cheek I believe who is paying 225 a ton if you drop it off.
> I cant remember the name of the place.
BONUS ROUND!!!
:headbang:
:party2:
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### Author:  [@Bovice](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bovice)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 4:51pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/11 "2008-04-15T16:51:13Z")
hahahahahhahahahahhaha…literally lol’d at work in front of customers as i scrolled from the last sentance about the euthanasia to violently and loudly…fucking classic! :tup:
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### Author:  [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:07pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/12 "2008-04-15T17:07:25Z")
How much to shoot at it? lmfao
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### Author:  [@ImportMuscle](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ImportMuscle)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/13 "2008-04-15T17:09:49Z")
200.00 cash in hand now, seriously
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/14 "2008-04-15T17:10:50Z")
> [@JEG](#):
>
> How much to shoot at it? lmfao
Rifle? Pistol? Shotgun?
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/15 "2008-04-15T17:11:12Z")
> [@ImportMuscle](#):
>
> 200.00 cash in hand now, seriously
Its not mine to sell unfortunately
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### Author:  [@HAiRymONkEe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/HAiRymONkEe)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/16 "2008-04-15T17:13:56Z")
> [@2TurboZ](#):
>
> Its not mine to sell unfortunately
but he can destroy it… lol
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/17 "2008-04-15T17:16:17Z")
> [@HAiRymONkEe](#):
>
> but he can destroy it… lol
Damn right I can 🙂 Its on my property
I dont have a title to sell it 🙂
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### Author:  [@ImportMuscle](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ImportMuscle)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/18 "2008-04-15T17:20:26Z")
> [@2TurboZ](#):
>
> Its not mine to sell unfortunately
:picard:
You said 200.00 to burn it didnt you?
Why would i want to buy it?
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### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/19 "2008-04-15T17:22:40Z")
We dont need no water let the Motherfucker burn…
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### Author:  [@ILCisDEAD](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ILCisDEAD)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-would-like-to-introduce-you-all-to-dewey/46877/20 "2008-04-15T17:23:58Z")
I get second shot at burning it… if importmuscle doesn’t pull through
WILL ONLY BURN A VIRGIN!!!
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