# Infidelity --- Would you? Have you? **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [December 8, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023 "2009-12-08T10:07:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anonymity](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/anonymity/32/7215_2.png) [@Anonymity](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Anonymity)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/1 "2009-12-08T10:07:03Z")
> **Facts and Statistics About Infidelity** > Given the secretive nature of infidelity, exact figures about cheating and extra-marital affairs are nearly impossible to establish. But, listed below are some of the most well-supported facts about cheating. All cited sources can be found on our [_reference page_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/site/public/sources%10references.html). > - It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage (see, Buss and Shackelford for review of this research). And these numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce (people are more likely to stray as relationships fall apart; also see, [_who is likely to cheat_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/infidelity_and_cheating/public/likely_to_cheat.html)). > > - Research consistently shows that 2 to 3% of all children are the product of infidelity (see, Anderson). And most of these children are unknowingly raised by men who are not their biological fathers. DNA testing is finally making it easy for people to check the paternity of their children (see, [_paternity issues_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/what_people_lie_about/public/paternity_testing.html)). > > - Infidelity is becoming more common among people under 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a spouse) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they get married (see, [_young and restless_](http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122782458360062499.html) - Wall Street Journal). > > - There are no definitive “signs of cheating.” But, in hindsight you will always find them (see, [_signs of infidelity_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/catch_cheating/public/signs_of_infidelity.html)). > > - Some cultures have adopted extreme measures to combat infidelity: female circumcision, allowing only limited contact between the sexes, and death as a punishment. While many other cultures view infidelity as more of a nuance, not a serious marital problem (see, [_cultural perspectives_](http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355>1=9212) - Msn). > > - Men are more likely to cheat than women. But, as women become more financially independent, women are starting to act more like men with respect to infidelity (also see, [_cheating wives_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating_spouse/public/cheating_wife.html) and [_cheating husbands_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating_spouse/public/cheating_husband.html)). > > - In many cases, infidelity never gets discovered (see, [_cheating spouse quiz_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/surveys/view/Cheating_Spouse_Survey/index.html)). > > - Emotionally, it is possible to have feelings for more than one person at a time. Pragmatically, loving more than one person is difficult to do (see, [_polyamory_](http://lyingandcheating.blogspot.com/2006/12/problem-with-polyamory.html) - Truth, Lies, and Romance Blog). > > - As more and more women enter the work force, “office romances” are becoming more common. Spouses often spend more time with coworkers than with each other. > > - The internet, e-mail, and chat rooms are making it easier for people to engage in infidelity (see, [_online cheating_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/what_people_lie_about/public/online_affairs.html)). > > - The initial decision to be unfaithful is rarely ever a rational choice; instead infidelity is usually driven by circumstances and one’s emotions. In fact, most people are surprised by their own behavior at the start of an affair (see, [_decision to cheat_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/infidelity_and_cheating/public/infidelity_and_emotions.html)). > > - Emotional infidelity, compared to just physical infidelity, can inflict as much, if not more, hurt, pain and suffering. And to make matters worse, most infidelity involves both physical and emotional betrayal (see, [_what counts as cheating_](http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/what_counts_as_cheating/public/what_counts_as_cheating.html)). > > - Unfortunately, many people find a more suitable mate (someone they love more than their spouse) _after_ they are already married. > > - Biological evidence (i.e., research on biology and reproduction) indicates that long-term monogamy is difficult for humans to achieve - NOT impossible, but difficult (see, Barash and Lipton or the [_myth of monogamy_](http://archive.salon.com/sex/feature/2001/01/23/monogamy/index.html) - [Salon.com](http://Salon.com)). > > - Almost everyone admits to having fantasies that involve someone other than a spouse (see, Hicks and Leitenberg). > > - Jealousy is such a fundamental, universal emotion because infidelity has been a part of our human nature for a very long time (see, Buss). Just like every office, we have been talking about tiger… about how selfish INFIDELITY is. What is your view…? ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/2 "2009-12-08T10:11:35Z")
I won’t get married unless she’s open to doing stuff with other girls, or at least allowing me to under some circumstances. Or I get untreatable impotency. Without that, it’s doomed to fail before it starts. I can’t do the one vagina forever thing. I would forgive. I’m not the jealous type, and we’re way too caught up on mixing sex with the emotional aspect in this country. We’re like women. It’s a physical thing. ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/3 "2009-12-08T10:11:44Z")
Never done it. Once you commit, commit. ---
**Author:** ![Pauly](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pauly/32/7493_2.png) [@Pauly](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pauly)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:15am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/4 "2009-12-08T10:15:32Z")
been married long time it’s just not worth cheating at this point, would cost wayyyy too much, plus i actually love my wife ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/5 "2009-12-08T10:16:39Z")
i’ve had, like, one gf i havnt cheated on in the past 6 years. i have fucked up morals. edit: wife would be different though. thats a different ball game, and one I hope to only play once. ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/6 "2009-12-08T10:18:09Z")
pretty sure I was cheated, but never really had any proof. the situation sucked, lucky I jumped ship and ended it when I did. ---
**Author:** ![Motocrossx23](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/motocrossx23/32/5120_2.png) [@Motocrossx23](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Motocrossx23)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:25am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/7 "2009-12-08T10:25:11Z")
I’m with Jeff on this. I’m a bad person but given the wife situation, I’d have to be certain she was the one. I just don’t care, i’ve been fucked over before and it put a bad taste for relationships in my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![newman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/newman/32/7569_2.png) [@newman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/newman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/8 "2009-12-08T10:26:57Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever not cheated on a GF ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:28am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/9 "2009-12-08T10:28:22Z")
by the way, public poll :tif: ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/10 "2009-12-08T10:29:37Z")
newman wins ‘hypocrite of the year’ ---
**Author:** ![Motocrossx23](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/motocrossx23/32/5120_2.png) [@Motocrossx23](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Motocrossx23)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/11 "2009-12-08T10:30:32Z")
Who cares, none of my gfs know about this site, lol. If they did I’d prolly not be dating them lol ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:33am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/12 "2009-12-08T10:33:04Z")
> [@boardjnky4](#): > > newman wins ‘hypocrite of the year’ not necessarily, you can cheat knowing you wont be forgiven if she finds out and take a calculated risk :gotme: ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:36am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/13 "2009-12-08T10:36:13Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > not necessarily, you can cheat knowing you wont be forgiven if she finds out and take a calculated risk :gotme: Most people who cheat, know they won’t be forgiven. However, most people who DO cheat, would probably be able to forgive their partner for cheating. ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/14 "2009-12-08T10:37:56Z")
i forgot to mark that ive been cheated on. ---
**Author:** ![Paulo](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/paulo/32/7328_2.png) [@Paulo](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Paulo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/15 "2009-12-08T10:38:38Z")
I like boobs… ---
**Author:** ![Cleck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@Cleck](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cleck)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/16 "2009-12-08T10:39:23Z")
Been cheated on twice in the past. Cheated once with #1 to get back at #2 who I already knew was doing it behind my back. Am now in a happy 5yr + relationship. I love her because she’s the best and we match up pretty damn well in most areas and differ in all the right areas enough to make it work. Sounds weird but I can’t describe it any other way. If I ever did it again, it’d have to be worth it - ie: supermodel gozillionaire who’ll support me when I get found out 😃 Basically it’s never happening. I can deal with that just fine thanks. ---
**Author:** ![newman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/newman/32/7569_2.png) [@newman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/newman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:47am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/17 "2009-12-08T10:47:27Z")
My last GF was fucking some shitty dude for coke. Possibly shitty dudes. I almost forgave her for this because I had a bunch of 3 ways (that she didn’t know about) and was humping a few other girls. Then I realized she fucking sucked and did not forgive her. ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:47am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/18 "2009-12-08T10:47:58Z")
so that’s how they stay so absurdly skinny… ---
**Author:** ![LZ1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@LZ1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/LZ1)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 11:12am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/19 "2009-12-08T11:12:09Z")
> [@Joe](#): > > by the way, public poll :tif: 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![dawn](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dawn/32/7209_2.png) [@dawn](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/dawn)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 11:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023/20 "2009-12-08T11:14:18Z")
I’m a stupid bitch and I’d forgive. [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/infidelity-would-you-have-you/77023.md?page=2)