# joke of the day
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [October 24, 2008, 10:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012 "2008-10-24T10:38:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 9
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 11:02am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/21 "2008-10-24T11:02:28Z")
I watch it for Adam…i mean Carrie…I mean will it take off?
---
### Author:  [@sureshot](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sureshot)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 11:03am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/22 "2008-10-24T11:03:32Z")
What’s the difference between Nikuk and a mallard with a cold?
One’s a sick duck… I can’t remember how it ends, but his mothers a whore.
---
### Author:  [@Nikuk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Nikuk)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 11:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/23 "2008-10-24T11:07:20Z")
> [@2TurboZ](#):
>
> I watch it for Adam…i mean Carrie…I mean will it take off?
:eekdance:
> [@sureshot!](#):
>
> What’s the difference between Nikuk and a mallard with a cold?
>
> One’s a sick duck… I can’t remember how it ends, but his mothers a whore.
:lol:
---
### Author:  [@justa4door](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/justa4door)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/24 "2008-10-24T11:09:02Z")
> [@sureshot!](#):
>
> What’s the difference between Nikuk and a mallard with a cold?
>
> One’s a sick duck… I can’t remember how it ends, but his mothers a whore.
lol
---
### Author:  [@StrokedZ28](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/StrokedZ28)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 11:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/25 "2008-10-24T11:11:59Z")
> [@MicaH](#):
>
> A housewife takes a lover during the day,
> while her husband is at work.
> Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
> Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
>
> The boy now has company.
> Boy: “Dark in here.”
> Man: “Yes it is.”
> Boy: “I have a baseball.”
> Man: “That’s nice.”
> Boy: “Want to buy it?”
> Man: “No, thanks.”
> Boy: “My dad’s outside.”
> Man: “OK, how much?”
> Boy: “$250.”
>
> In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
> and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
>
> Boy: “Dark in here.”
> Man: “Yes, it is.”
> Boy: “I have a baseball glove.”
> Man: “That’s nice.”
> Boy: “Want to buy it?”
> Man: “No, thanks.”
> Boy: “Ill tell.”
> Man: “How much?”
> Boy: “$750.”
> Man: “Fine.”
>
> A few days later, the father says to the boy,
> “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!”
> The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”
> The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
> The son says, “$1,000.”
> The father says, “That’s terrible to over-charge your friends
> like that. That is way more than those two things cost.
> I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
>
> They go to church and the father alerts the priest and
> makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and
> closes the door.
>
> The boy says, “Dark in here.”
> The priest says, “Don’t start that sh\*t again.”
C’mon everyone knows that if it were a priest he’d have sex with the boy in the closet.
---
### Author:  [@justa4door](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/justa4door)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 11:13am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/26 "2008-10-24T11:13:25Z")
zing
---
### Author:  [@sureshot](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sureshot)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/27 "2008-10-24T13:38:54Z")
So the captain of a pirate ship was always seen wearing a red shirt.
One day his first mate asked him: “Why do you always wear red shirts?”
“Well if I ever get injured, I don’t want all my men to see me bleed and be demoralized!”
The first mate understood and went on his way.
A few days later the pirate ship drifted into the bay of a small village, ready to pillage. Out of nowhere, a few of the royal navy’s finest battleships appeared, surrounding the pirate’s ship.
The red shirted pirate captain was overheard yelling
“Bring me my brown pants!”
…
---
### Author:  [@fbrendan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fbrendan)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 1:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/28 "2008-10-24T13:42:49Z")
lol. That one is a classic.
Just got this one in an email:
After an exciting hot, nice and rejuvenating 69 with his girlfriend, Johnny remembers that he has an appointment with his dentist that evening.
He was afraid that his dentist would notice the smell of pu$$y in his mouth, so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times and on top of that he used 5 liters of listerine.
As he arrived at his dentist office, he sucked 5 mint candies. His turn then came up so he was welcomed in by his dentist, who told Johnny to have a seat on the chair.
Feeling confident & well relaxed he opened his mouth wide.
The dentist got close enough to his mouth and said:
-‘Man, why you do the 69 before you come to my office?’
-What’s up Doc? Does my mouth smells like pu$$y?
-No, your mouth smells good, but your forehead smells like ass.
---
### Author:  [@sureshot](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sureshot)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-day/57012/29 "2008-10-24T13:44:04Z")
haha i lol’d.
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