# Joke of the month!! **URL:** \ **Category:** SON240sx Off Topic\ **Created:** [November 23, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076 "2008-11-23T16:21:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![draggone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@draggone](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/draggone)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/1 "2008-11-23T16:21:22Z")
When girls don’t put out!! This was written by a guy…it’s pretty damn smart. Girls – Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’ I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’ So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… ‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’ She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’ Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’ We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.’ I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’ Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’ I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’ And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’ Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either…but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her. ---
**Author:** ![duckJAI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/duckjai/32/5553_2.png) [@duckJAI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/duckJAI)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/2 "2008-11-23T16:26:24Z")
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I’m using that line when and if the wife tries to pull something like that hahahahaha so smart ---
**Author:** ![JDM-KID](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jdm-kid/32/5640_2.png) [@JDM-KID](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JDM-KID)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/3 "2008-11-23T16:29:10Z")
not bad.lol ---
**Author:** ![jdm-silvia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@jdm-silvia](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jdm-silvia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/4 "2008-11-23T16:41:59Z")
tat jokes well done braps haha ---
**Author:** ![PureEuroM3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@PureEuroM3](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/PureEuroM3)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/5 "2008-11-23T16:42:31Z")
old! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JDM-KID](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jdm-kid/32/5640_2.png) [@JDM-KID](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JDM-KID)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/6 "2008-11-23T16:49:22Z")
> [@help me find a cheap flight to go see skunk](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/help-me-find-a-cheap-flight-to-go-see-skunk/19204/29): > > old! 🙂 Every thread needs one (OLD) .lol 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nate\_Drake](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nate_drake/32/5704_2.png) [@Nate\_Drake](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Nate_Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/7 "2008-11-23T16:50:47Z")
lol thats awesome “but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her” ---
**Author:** ![gtprince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gtprince](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/gtprince)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/8 "2008-11-23T16:54:03Z")
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL good find ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Phonso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Mr\_Phonso](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mr_Phonso)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/9 "2008-11-23T16:54:19Z")
lmfao, that is great. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hoggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dbc845/32.png) [@hoggie](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/hoggie)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/10 "2008-11-23T16:57:53Z")
i dont usualy post on the forum alot. i just read…lol but this one +1 ---
**Author:** ![87s15lt1](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/87s15lt1/32/5706_2.png) [@87s15lt1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/87s15lt1)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/11 "2008-11-23T17:23:11Z")
that is old…but it is a damn good one. i love that joke. ---
**Author:** ![roast](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/roast/32/5498_2.png) [@roast](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/roast)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 8:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/12 "2008-11-24T08:53:50Z")
+1 good joke ---
**Author:** ![Fobwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ea924/32.png) [@Fobwall](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fobwall)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 9:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/13 "2008-11-24T09:43:46Z")
> [@help me find a cheap flight to go see skunk](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/help-me-find-a-cheap-flight-to-go-see-skunk/19204/29): > > old! 🙂 Dude wtf man… that’s my line… ---
**Author:** ![Trutrax](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/trutrax/32/5658_2.png) [@Trutrax](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Trutrax)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2008, 10:11am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/14 "2008-11-26T10:11:30Z")
Lol! that’s awesome ---
**Author:** ![drunkmunky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@drunkmunky](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/drunkmunky)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 10:12pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/15 "2008-11-27T22:12:33Z")
Proof that Men have better friends than Women Friendship among women: A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among men: A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. ---
**Author:** ![nd4boost](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nd4boost/32/5627_2.png) [@nd4boost](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/nd4boost)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/joke-of-the-month/120076/16 "2008-11-27T22:27:23Z")
lol thats a good 1 too