# Lets hear the Jiffy Lube (or some place similar) horror stories

**URL:** <https://forums.speedlife.net/t/lets-hear-the-jiffy-lube-or-some-place-similar-horror-stories/194011>\
**Category:** PittSpeed Automotive\
**Created:** [December 4, 2007, 6:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/lets-hear-the-jiffy-lube-or-some-place-similar-horror-stories/194011 "2007-12-04T06:16:16Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 33

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**Author:** ![Laura00WS6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/laura00ws6/32/6017_2.png) [@Laura00WS6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Laura00WS6)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/lets-hear-the-jiffy-lube-or-some-place-similar-horror-stories/194011/33 "2007-12-06T18:59:07Z")

</div>

> [@\*\*\*\*Official: Southgate Meet Thread\*\*\*\*](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/official-southgate-meet-thread/29171/1293):
>
> Oil Change
> 
> Oil Change instructions for Women:
> 
> 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the  
> last oil change.
> 2. Drink a cup of coffee.
> 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a supposedly maintained  
> vehicle.
> 
> Money spent:  
> Oil Change $20.00  
> Coffee $1.00  
> Total $21.00 ================================================== ========
> 
> Oil Change instructions for Men:
> 
> 1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,  
> filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for  
> $50.00.
> 2. Stop by the store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive  
> home.
> 3. Open a beer and drink it.
> 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
> 5. Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.
> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> 7. Place drain pan under engine.  
> Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> 8. Give up and use crescent wrench.
> 9. Unscrew drain plug.
> 10. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.  
> Cuss.
> 11. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw  
> kitty litter on spilled oil.
> 12. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
> 13. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
> 14. Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter  
> and twist off.
> 15. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil  
> everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash  
> can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
> 16. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.  
> Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage  
> door opener.  
> 1 Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change."Drag  
> pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole  
> in back yard instead of taking it back to the auto parts store to recycle.
> 17. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
> 18. Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
> 19. Walk to store to buy beer.
> 20. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to  
> gasket surface.
> 21. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> 22. Remember drain plug from step 11.
> 23. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> 24. Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard,  
> along with drain plug.
> 25. Drink beer.  
> 2 Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug.? Re-shovel oily  
> dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily  
> patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in  
> lawnmower gas.
> 26. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw  
> kitty litter on oil spill.
> 27. Drink beer.
> 28. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes.? Wipe eyes with oily  
> rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench  
> tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
> 29. Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
> 30. Begin cussing fit.
> 31. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
> 32. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
> 33. Beer.
> 34. Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required t o stop blood  
> flow.  
> 3 Beer.
> 35. Beer.
> 36. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
> 37. Beer.
> 38. Lower car from jack stands.
> 39. Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
> 40. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during  
> steps 23 - 43.
> 41. Beer.
> 42. Test drive car.
> 43. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.  
> 4 Car gets impounded.
> 44. Call loving wife, make bail.
> 45. 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
> 
> Money spent:
> 
> Parts $50.00  
> DUI $2500.00  
> Impound fee $75.00  
> Bail $1500.00  
> Beer $40.00  
> Total - - $4,165.00
> 
> **But you know the job was done right!**

hahaha one thing though…jiffy lubes oil change is alot more than 20 bucks…but the coffee is free

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