# Major 0wnage **URL:** \ **Category:** Shift518 Off Topic\ **Created:** [March 16, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843 "2009-03-16T18:50:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shawn96VR-4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Shawn96VR-4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shawn96VR-4)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/1 "2009-03-16T18:50:18Z")
I was straddling the ottoman and then Newman started to bark so I slammed the couch and said “NO”! He did it again and I slammed the coach as hard as I could and hit my right ball head on. It felt like I got knifed in the throat and I puked in my mouth from the pain. I ran off to the bathroom. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MX-5](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mx-5/32/6336_2.png) [@MX-5](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MX-5)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/2 "2009-03-16T18:59:31Z")
ouch, that sucks ---
**Author:** ![Mike3](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mike3/32/6350_2.png) [@Mike3](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mike3)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/3 "2009-03-16T19:00:46Z")
![http://blog.pharmalive.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/o_rly.jpg](http://blog.pharmalive.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/o_rly.jpg) Ow. ---
**Author:** ![94Gt5.0](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/94gt5.0/32/6377_2.png) [@94Gt5.0](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/94Gt5.0)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/4 "2009-03-16T19:00:55Z")
i literally just LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!! ---
**Author:** ![JClark](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jclark/32/6309_2.png) [@JClark](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JClark)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/5 "2009-03-16T19:01:53Z")
:rofl :rofl :rofl ---
**Author:** ![Shawn96VR-4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Shawn96VR-4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shawn96VR-4)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/6 "2009-03-16T19:02:52Z")
True story. ---
**Author:** ![94Gt5.0](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/94gt5.0/32/6377_2.png) [@94Gt5.0](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/94Gt5.0)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/7 "2009-03-16T19:04:21Z")
Dog fuckin clowned ya man! He knew what was goin on. 1st time hes like… Dog-“damn, he got pretty close to his nuts…ima do it again”… Shawn- “STFU DOG”… BAM “OMGZ” Dog- “lulz” ---
**Author:** ![kramerbuccs24](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/kramerbuccs24/32/6397_2.png) [@kramerbuccs24](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/kramerbuccs24)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/8 "2009-03-16T19:05:37Z")
ouch. i am sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![OsoiNA6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/osoina6/32/6301_2.png) [@OsoiNA6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OsoiNA6)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/9 "2009-03-16T19:13:10Z")
So no kids for a couple of years as the testie recovers? ---
**Author:** ![Mk4\_30R\_Ban](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mk4_30r_ban/32/6347_2.png) [@Mk4\_30R\_Ban](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mk4_30R_Ban)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/10 "2009-03-16T19:14:51Z")
thats why you have to hit your dog, like you hit a child. ---
**Author:** ![94Gt5.0](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/94gt5.0/32/6377_2.png) [@94Gt5.0](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/94Gt5.0)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/11 "2009-03-16T19:17:07Z")
Kick the dog in the sac! ---
**Author:** ![Silent](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/silent/32/6292_2.png) [@Silent](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Silent)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/12 "2009-03-16T19:23:48Z")
wow ---
**Author:** ![K20power](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/41988e/32.png) [@K20power](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/K20power)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/13 "2009-03-16T19:48:38Z")
owned ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/14 "2009-03-16T19:52:24Z")
I did something just like this…I was pissed becuase i spilt my drink on my pants while i was driving, when i stoped the car and got out i was still pissed so i go to slam my door and close my finger it the door and it completely closed. Finger nail fell right off… ---
**Author:** ![Shawn96VR-4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Shawn96VR-4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shawn96VR-4)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/15 "2009-03-16T20:09:19Z")
> [@How to drink Code Red Mountain Dew](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/how-to-drink-code-red-mountain-dew/15168/89): > > So no kids for a couple of years as the testie recovers? It would have happened already if it was meant to be. I like monies too much for kids anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![Cossey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Cossey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Cossey)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/16 "2009-03-16T20:36:57Z")
> [@RAINBOW TINT NOW HIRING](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/rainbow-tint-now-hiring/15645/18): > > dog fuckin clowned ya man! He knew what was goin on. 1st time hes like… > Dog-“damn, he got pretty close to his nuts…ima do it again”… > Shawn- “stfu dog”… Bam “omgz” > dog- “lulz” rofl!!! ---
**Author:** ![94Gt5.0](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/94gt5.0/32/6377_2.png) [@94Gt5.0](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/94Gt5.0)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/17 "2009-03-16T20:58:19Z")
> [@Official Fantasy Football Thread](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/official-fantasy-football-thread/15436/48): > > rofl!!! :lol That would totally be me if i was a dog!! ---
**Author:** ![KrazyKid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/krazykid/32/6371_2.png) [@KrazyKid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/KrazyKid)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/18 "2009-03-18T04:01:26Z")
> [@Help Building a new computer \*\*\* FREE MONEY\*\*\*](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/help-building-a-new-computer-free-money/15612/39): > > I did something just like this…I was pissed becuase i spilt my drink on my pants while i was driving, when i stoped the car and got out i was still pissed so i go to slam my door and close my finger it the door and it completely closed. Finger nail fell right off… ahhhahah My brother did the same shit. We were in the garage working on his truck… he got all bent and got out and slammed the door closed, took 2 steps and got yanked backwards. he closed two fingers in the shit, just past the first knuckles and it held his had in the car. He looked, and slowly said, “Mike, come pop my door please…” his truck is shaved and the clicker was out of his reach! lol. We went to the hospital, he broke both fingers! ---
**Author:** ![votblindub](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/votblindub/32/6280_2.png) [@votblindub](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/votblindub)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 6:20am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/19 "2009-03-18T06:20:37Z")
moar funny owies stories ---
**Author:** ![n\_cole](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/n_cole/32/6382_2.png) [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 6:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843/20 "2009-03-18T06:22:46Z")
Newman is the greatest. I think we should make this a Newman thread. Pictures please Shawn! [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/major-0wnage/242843.md?page=2)