# Now That 'Top Kill' Failed, How Do We Stop the Oil Leak? **URL:** \ **Category:** Shift518 Automotive\ **Created:** [June 1, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407 "2010-06-01T18:28:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vovchandr](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/vovchandr/32/6275_2.png) [@Vovchandr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vovchandr)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/1 "2010-06-01T18:28:04Z")
Simple let Jalopnik come up with some outrageous ideas with humorous names and be glad at the fact that in NY we don’t have much coast to worry about. > ``` > ![http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2010/05/340x_bp.jpg](http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2010/05/340x_bp.jpg) > > ``` > > So, “[top kill](http://gawker.com/tag/topkill/),” [BP](http://gawker.com/tag/bp/)’s last-ditch effort to seal up their oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, has failed. Now that our best chance for stopping the leak didn’t work, what’s next? And what sexy nickname will it have? > Well, “top kill” didn’t “kill” anything, except for our collective hope. BP announced this weekend that the procedure—which involved pumping drilling mud into the leaking well head—didn’t work, and BP Chief Operations Officer Doug Suttles says they “don’t know for certain” why it failed, which is, you know, extremely encouraging. > The awesomely-named “top kill” was supposed to be our best chance at stopping the worst environmental disaster in U.S. history. So, what’s next up for the fun kids over at BP? We had some [great ideas yesterday](http://gawker.com/5550938/we-called-bp-and-offered-some-ideas-to-fix-the-oil-spill), but “the man” probably won’t ever implement them. Here are some of other options: > **Lower Marine Riser Package Cap** , or “[LMRP Cap](http://gawker.com/tag/lmrpcap/)” > **What It Is:** This is what BP is trying right now. Basically, it involves cutting off the pipe and putting a cap on it that will send the oil to a drill ship on the surface. If it actually works, “[it will only contain a majority of the oil, and not the all of it](http://www.grist.org/article/2010-05-30-top-kill-fails/).” > **Suggested Sexy Name:** Pipe Condom > **New Relief Well** > **What It Is:** BP will dig a new well next to the leaking well to intercept oil. This is the actual best way to stop the leak—it just takes a really long time to dig. BP has started the work, but it won’t be done until August, at which point there won’t be much of a Gulf of Mexico to save. > **Suggested Sexy Name:** The Undertaker > **[Junk Shot](http://gawker.com/tag/junkshot/)** > **What It Is:** Literally what it sounds like: BP would use junk like golf balls, hair, and bits of tire to plug the leak. Think your sink after you haven’t done the dishes in a while, but on purpose. > **Suggested Sexy Name:** “Junk shot” is, you know, pretty “sexy” already. > **Hot Tap** > **What It Is:** Drill a hole in the pipe under the well and suck oil out of it. BP doesn’t seem to have the capabilities to pull it off, so it’s probably a no-go. > **Suggested Sexy Name:** Like “junk shot,” “hot tap” is already sort of explicit. Maybe “pipe hole,” or something? > **Controlled Nuclear Explosion** > **What It Is:** According to Russian daily [_Komsomoloskaya Pravda_](http://trueslant.com/juliaioffe/2010/05/04/nuke-that-slick/) (helpfully translated by True/Slant’s Julia Ioffe), Russia used to nuke oil leaks, like, all the time. The idea is pretty simple: An enormous nuclear explosion will move the rocks around to block the leak. No way that could go wrong, right? > **Suggested Sexy Name:** Let’s Nuke the Fucker, Because Why the Hell Not? > [_Pic via AP_] I personally like the :vlad idea. At least it would be entertaining and it would go viral on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Vovchandr](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/vovchandr/32/6275_2.png) [@Vovchandr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vovchandr)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/2 "2010-06-01T18:31:57Z")
Oh FML, didn’t even hear about this ---
**Author:** ![Boxersix](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boxersix/32/6327_2.png) [@Boxersix](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Boxersix)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/3 "2010-06-01T19:50:35Z")
An ex navy seal or some SF type military personnel suggested a clever idea that was overturned abruptly. Send a concussion bomb down the pipe and detonate it, causing the pipe and well to collapse apon itself and self seal. This whole ordeal is just a prime example of how we’ll eventually wipe ourselves out by our own hand. ---
**Author:** ![SDP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SDP](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SDP)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/4 "2010-06-01T20:01:34Z")
> [@J&J Shafts yet Another Customer (7/12/07)](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/j-j-shafts-yet-another-customer-7-12-07/32262/230): > > An ex navy seal or some SF type military personnel suggested a clever idea that was overturned abruptly. Send a concussion bomb down the pipe and detonate it, causing the pipe and well to collapse apon itself and self seal. > > This whole ordeal is just a prime example of how we’ll eventually wipe ourselves out by our own hand. Yeah thats the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Wayne64SS](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/wayne64ss/32/6365_2.png) [@Wayne64SS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Wayne64SS)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/5 "2010-06-01T20:10:00Z")
oh great idea. take the Russian’s advice on the proper use of Nuclear technology. ![http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1b/Chernobyl_Disaster.jpg](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1b/Chernobyl_Disaster.jpg) Cool tourist attraction guys! ---
**Author:** ![Eatonualive](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/eatonualive/32/6442_2.png) [@Eatonualive](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Eatonualive)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/6 "2010-06-01T21:06:40Z")
you should see it!.. absolutely beautiful this time of year ---
**Author:** ![Wayne64SS](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/wayne64ss/32/6365_2.png) [@Wayne64SS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Wayne64SS)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/7 "2010-06-01T21:12:25Z")
would love to. ---
**Author:** ![Wayne64SS](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/wayne64ss/32/6365_2.png) [@Wayne64SS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Wayne64SS)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 11:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/8 "2010-06-02T11:00:48Z")
![http://www.iridetheharlemline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/bp5-600x376.jpg](http://www.iridetheharlemline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/bp5-600x376.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![KrazyKid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/krazykid/32/6371_2.png) [@KrazyKid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/KrazyKid)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/9 "2010-06-03T06:54:47Z")
Simple Idea I have in my head. Say the outside dia of the leaky pipe is 20 feet in dia. take a 30 foot inside dia pipe with a colapsable boot at one end. send the bigger pipe down and slip it over the leaky pipe, (of course you need a big ass hose or keep adding to the 30 foot dia pipe in lenght to reach the surface) once it is over the leaky pipe, colapse the boot over the leaky pipe. thats it. its just like when your busting a nut, your little peeter is 3 inches in dia, and her mouth is 4 inches in dia, once it starts shootin she throws it in her mouth and closes her lips! ---
**Author:** ![Shady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Shady](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 7:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/10 "2010-06-03T07:14:32Z")
^ See sig :rofl Vlad this is in the wrong section… ---
**Author:** ![silveradoman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/silveradoman/32/6487_2.png) [@silveradoman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/silveradoman)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:03am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/11 "2010-06-03T08:03:59Z")
> [@J&J Shafts yet Another Customer (7/12/07)](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/j-j-shafts-yet-another-customer-7-12-07/32262/230): > > An ex navy seal or some SF type military personnel suggested a clever idea that was overturned abruptly. Send a concussion bomb down the pipe and detonate it, causing the pipe and well to collapse apon itself and self seal. if it self seals then how are they gonna get oil out of it later???..they wanna be able to get the oil so they can keep making $$$$…its one fucked up situation…im sure someone lower on the totem pole knew the pipe could break and told the uppers, and instead of spending the $$ to fix it they gave each other, and their ceo’s big bonuses, and didn’t give a fuck what happened to the environment…this is the end of our planet…how long before 100% the worlds water supply is contaminated by oil??? then what…we all know our bodies are made of 90% water and w/o it we are all FUCKED!!! ---
**Author:** ![JClark](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jclark/32/6309_2.png) [@JClark](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JClark)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/12 "2010-06-03T08:57:21Z")
> [@Eat her box,Just rail her, or Both?](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/eat-her-box-just-rail-her-or-both/32327/21): > > if it self seals then how are they gonna get oil out of it later???.. Drill another well just like they’re doing now for the relief well. ---
**Author:** ![Boxersix](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boxersix/32/6327_2.png) [@Boxersix](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Boxersix)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 10:45am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/13 "2010-06-03T10:45:24Z")
> [@Eat her box,Just rail her, or Both?](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/eat-her-box-just-rail-her-or-both/32327/21): > > **if it self seals then how are they gonna get oil out of it later???..** ummmmmm, yeah, what Clark said… do the same thing they did to begin with that ultimately started this whole mess, drill another well into the reservoir :crazy ---
**Author:** ![KrazyKid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/krazykid/32/6371_2.png) [@KrazyKid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/KrazyKid)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 10:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/14 "2010-06-03T10:54:16Z")
My idea is the best. just saying ---
**Author:** ![Vovchandr](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/vovchandr/32/6275_2.png) [@Vovchandr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vovchandr)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 8:43am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/15 "2010-06-04T08:43:32Z")
Where the oil will most likely end up Live cam [http://globalwarming.house.gov/spillcam](http://globalwarming.house.gov/spillcam) ---
**Author:** ![Vovchandr](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/vovchandr/32/6275_2.png) [@Vovchandr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vovchandr)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/now-that-top-kill-failed-how-do-we-stop-the-oil-leak/252407/16 "2010-06-04T19:11:15Z")
Oh the irony at BP’s gas station ``` [![http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/12/2010/06/500x_bp_no_spill_sign.jpg](http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/12/2010/06/500x_bp_no_spill_sign.jpg)](http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/12/2010/06/bp_no_spill_sign.jpg) ```