# Poll.. Hospital visitation etiquette when a relative is in the hospital for sugery **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [August 12, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063 "2009-08-12T16:47:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![redZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redz/32/7492_2.png) [@redZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/redZ)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/1 "2009-08-12T16:47:51Z")
I’ve been having a debate with my wife about this… Her mother is in the hospital for surgery. Her and her brother and her father and myself were all there the day of the surgery… it went well. Her and her brother and her father were there all night till visiting hours stopped at 11, I understand that. i left after i heard the good news to take care of our dogs and stuff, since they had been home all day alone. Now the debate … This happened on Monday. On Tuesday her, her father, and her brother were all there taking care of her from 9am until visitation closed at 9 pm. Same thing today, and tomorrow, and friday is what i hear. So now my question/poll… am i wrong for thinking that my wife, her brother, and her father are all over doing it? I think everyone there the day of the surgery is great but i think having all 3 people in the hospital room 12 hours a day is unneeded. Am i wrong? ---
**Author:** ![llink78](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/llink78/32/8037_2.png) [@llink78](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/llink78)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/2 "2009-08-12T16:52:15Z")
well was it life threating sugrery? i mean i could see going twice a day for a hour or 2, but 12 hours a day when she is fine now, i think thats over doing it ---
**Author:** ![Vrooom](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/vrooom/32/7198_2.png) [@Vrooom](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vrooom)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/3 "2009-08-12T16:56:52Z")
My mother-in-law had her thyroid glands removed and expected everyone to be there all the time. The idea itself annoyed the crap out of me. Needless to say I never went, but she was only there for 2 days. ---
**Author:** ![redZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redz/32/7492_2.png) [@redZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/redZ)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/4 "2009-08-12T16:56:58Z")
well… there was a slight chance it _could_ have been… but the results of the surgery proved not life threatening. My gripe is that her father is there 24 hours a day… so why would she need to be there all day… taking multiple days off work… i dont get it… ---
**Author:** ![Willybeen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/willybeen/32/7351_2.png) [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/5 "2009-08-12T16:59:17Z")
Some families are closer than others… I know my g/f would want to be with her family for as long as she was allowed/capable of being there… and depending on the surgery/severity I can say the same thing… Whats annoying to me when i worked in healthcare was when a family of 30 wanted to visit all day/night… thats unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![ShiftDead](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shiftdead/32/7508_2.png) [@ShiftDead](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShiftDead)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/6 "2009-08-12T17:02:27Z")
They are over doing it. The point of the being in the hospital is for bed rest and the nurses and aides to care for you, Not to have family there all day keeping you up and getting in the way. As biased as my opinion is, it is still the truth. ---
**Author:** ![redZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redz/32/7492_2.png) [@redZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/redZ)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/7 "2009-08-12T17:05:57Z")
i agree. That’s what i keep saying to her… Her argument is that the nurses aren’t around enough to do things… my rebuttal… “thats what the call nurse button is for”… not to mention her father is already there 22-23 hours a day. I really have not much else i can say in order to keep from being an ass about it. ---
**Author:** ![ShiftDead](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shiftdead/32/7508_2.png) [@ShiftDead](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShiftDead)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/8 "2009-08-12T17:09:59Z")
> [@redZ](#): > > “thats what the call nurse button is for” Bingo, And trust me when I say people use them…I still have nightmares about them flashing fucking lights and dinging noises. ---
**Author:** ![Spam16v](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/spam16v/32/5287_2.png) [@Spam16v](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Spam16v)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/9 "2009-08-12T17:42:34Z")
i’ve been there, my mother has been hurt a few times and been there lying in a hospital bed, your family needs to fuck off so they can get their rest. srsly… go in, say hello, and go home, take turns early in the day or later in the day. sitting there all day staring at you, lying there you feel like you have to entertain them so you can’t just sleep, the nurses and Dr’s can’t do your job b/c you’re asking the same retarded questions over and over trying to make sure they’re doing their job. they actually AVOID all the people b/c it’s a PITA every time they go in the room and have to deal with a bunch of people who read everything on the internet and think they’re Dr’s. ---
**Author:** ![ShiftDead](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shiftdead/32/7508_2.png) [@ShiftDead](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShiftDead)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/10 "2009-08-12T17:50:51Z")
> [@Spam16v](#): > > i’ve been there, my mother has been hurt a few times and been there lying in a hospital bed, your family needs to fuck off so they can get their rest. srsly… go in, say hello, and go home, take turns early in the day or later in the day. sitting there all day staring at you, lying there you feel like you have to entertain them so you can’t just sleep, the nurses and Dr’s can’t do your job b/c you’re asking the same retarded questions over and over trying to make sure they’re doing their job. they actually AVOID all the people b/c it’s a PITA every time they go in the room and have to deal with a bunch of people who read everything on the internet and think they’re Dr’s. My man, tell’em bout it. ---
**Author:** ![Spam16v](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/spam16v/32/5287_2.png) [@Spam16v](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Spam16v)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/11 "2009-08-12T17:55:29Z")
my mother has a room reserved @ Springville from training horses for a living… spent way too much time in hospitals. don’t be that “family” that will NEVER leave, security gets involved, yelling ensues… ---
**Author:** ![Dominance9](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dominance9/32/7281_2.png) [@Dominance9](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Dominance9)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/12 "2009-08-12T19:04:51Z")
Similar story and similar problem. I dont get it either but when I say anything about it I get the “if it was your mom it would be different” line. If it was me in the hospital, sure stop in and say hi, but dont stay there for 5 hours forcing conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Karter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@Karter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Karter)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/13 "2009-08-12T19:13:42Z")
i was in the hospitol from the am2 the pm when my father almost died. everyday, until he got discharged. infact i was bringing him food when they said not too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EvilJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a5b964/32.png) [@EvilJay](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/EvilJay)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/14 "2009-08-12T19:19:36Z")
My mom would probably make my family and I leave after a while. Theres no point in all of us being there all day/night. ---
**Author:** ![Spam16v](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/spam16v/32/5287_2.png) [@Spam16v](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Spam16v)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/15 "2009-08-12T19:23:59Z")
it was my mom, and she died on the table 3 times during surgery, you’re not doing anyone any good if you’re underfoot. visitor hours are there for a reason, stop in, say hello, when it’s time to go… do so. come back anytime, and often. once hospital staff realizes you behave, and GO AWAY when asked or don’t even have to be asked to leave when it’s time, they’re 10x more forgiving. they tell you that you don’t have to leave every time you do, let you in early, let you in late, don’t have to sign in. there’s a reason for the saying “Don’t be that guy” ---
**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/16 "2009-08-12T19:24:11Z")
My dad is in right now. We take turns. Someone is there most of the allowed visiting hours, but not all at once. ---
**Author:** ![gonzo891](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/gonzo891/32/5250_2.png) [@gonzo891](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/gonzo891)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/17 "2009-08-12T19:29:21Z")
i was in the hospital for 10+ days and to be honest seeing people all the time got annoying. yes they are over doing it. go in say hi get them a sub from subway and be on your way. unless like my family you get paid days off for this sort of thing, in that case they would come in say hi and be gone once the pain meds kicked in and get a paid day off. ---
**Author:** ![Spam16v](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/spam16v/32/5287_2.png) [@Spam16v](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Spam16v)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 5:27am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/18 "2009-08-13T05:27:08Z")
if anyone uses that excuse that it’s your family member and you’re going to be there for them and won’t leave, take a step back and ask how many times that nurse has heard that when she’s asking someone to GTFO. everyone in that hospital has family, you’re no different hero. security will remove you and you will not be allowed back in. ---
**Author:** ![redZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redz/32/7492_2.png) [@redZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/redZ)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 5:44am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/19 "2009-08-13T05:44:28Z")
lol, yeah . I told her she can spend as much time as she needs, no problem. It was more of a kindhearted talk… not so much me grilling her on it. ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 5:48am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063/20 "2009-08-13T05:48:02Z")
Haha oops, I think I deleted my post that you responded to. I re-read it and was like “wow, I’m an arrogant asshole.” 😛 But yeah, as long as you’re not trying to tell your wife to stop spending time with her mother in the hospital it’s cool to suggest that maybe it’s better to just let her rest. :tup: [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/poll-hospital-visitation-etiquette-when-a-relative-is-in-the-hospital-for-sugery/72063.md?page=2)