# Random family guy quote thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [July 8, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661 "2005-07-08T07:16:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zwarbyt](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/zwarbyt/32/7623_2.png) [@zwarbyt](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/zwarbyt)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 11:52am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/21 "2005-07-08T11:52:39Z")
dear diary… JACKPOT ---
**Author:** ![EMX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ea924/32.png) [@EMX](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/EMX)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/22 "2005-07-08T12:30:18Z")
im loling at work so loud everyone is looking at me… ---
**Author:** ![Straight6](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/straight6/32/7596_2.png) [@Straight6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Straight6)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/23 "2005-07-08T13:24:58Z")
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, ‘Oooooo.’ Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. * * * Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland’s house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway? * * * Stewie: Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch. * * * Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I’m expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside. ---
**Author:** ![sureshot](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sureshot/32/7578_2.png) [@sureshot](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sureshot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/24 "2005-07-08T13:28:18Z")
i mean i understand most of us have seen countless episodes of family guy and definately remember word for word some quotes but i think a majority of these postings came from that huge family guy quote website not taking anything away from anyone, because when u read the quotes you are just like “lol i remember that, hahahaha” etc either way, mad funny quotes :tup: ---
**Author:** ![Jack](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jack/32/7613_2.png) [@Jack](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jack)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/25 "2005-07-08T13:54:51Z")
la grille? wtf is la grille ---
**Author:** ![JDMR2](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jdmr2/32/7587_2.png) [@JDMR2](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JDMR2)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/26 "2005-07-08T15:05:35Z")
_sticky_ “I NEED AN ADULT, I NEED AN ADULT” “Sir, you can’t park your van here…” ---
**Author:** ![OfficerK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4da419/32.png) [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/27 "2005-07-08T15:09:53Z")
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lois this ins’t my Batman glass!” ---
**Author:** ![JDMR2](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jdmr2/32/7587_2.png) [@JDMR2](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JDMR2)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/28 "2005-07-08T15:10:45Z")
what are you doing with my star wars mug ---
**Author:** ![jrex](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jrex/32/7232_2.png) [@jrex](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jrex)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/29 "2005-07-08T16:25:47Z")
Peter: “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it.” Quaqmire: “Butter’s in the fridge!” ---
**Author:** ![Jam](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jam/32/7235_2.png) [@Jam](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jam)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/30 "2005-07-08T18:52:36Z")
Newscaster - "now here’s tom with our blackuweather forecast. (cuts to black dude in front of a map) “IT GON RAIN!!!” ---
**Author:** ![ly555is](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@ly555is](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ly555is)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/31 "2005-07-09T02:05:01Z")
LOLLLLLLLLL (to the last one) holy shit i forgot all about that one EDIT: i do however always like how they cite their asian reporter constantly prefaced as ‘our asian reporter \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_’ ---
**Author:** ![Pass\_McGass](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pass_mcgass/32/7616_2.png) [@Pass\_McGass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pass_McGass)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:58am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/32 "2005-07-09T02:58:37Z")
> [@sureshot!](#): > > i mean i understand most of us have seen countless episodes of family guy and definately remember word for word some quotes > > but i think a majority of these postings came from that huge family guy quote website > > not taking anything away from anyone, because when u read the quotes you are just like “lol i remember that, hahahaha” etc > > either way, mad funny quotes :tup: mine came dierectly from the ole noggin. link me to the webiste ---
**Author:** ![Pass\_McGass](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pass_mcgass/32/7616_2.png) [@Pass\_McGass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pass_McGass)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/33 "2005-07-09T03:00:40Z")
> [@OfficerK](#): > > Peter: If you don’t bring Gumble to Gumble back on the air im going on a hunger strike > Network Guy: Im sorry sir we can’t bring that program back on the air. > Peter: You gonna eat that stapler? > Network Guy: You can’t eat a stapler > Peter: Waaannnaaaa sspplliittt it? Peter: Anyone who wouldnt put Gumble 2 Gumble back on the air is a racist. There I said it ---
**Author:** ![Pass\_McGass](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pass_mcgass/32/7616_2.png) [@Pass\_McGass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pass_McGass)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/34 "2005-07-12T19:25:06Z")
Brian: But youve never really had good luck telling jokes Peter: Ok ok ok, how many dirty stinken apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One dirty stinken ape to screw in the lightbulb and Two dirty stinken apes to throw feces at each other. ---
**Author:** ![bmwz8addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9c0ed/32.png) [@bmwz8addict](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/bmwz8addict)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/35 "2005-07-13T05:12:00Z")
“Crafty mexicans and your glass candy!” ---
**Author:** ![Onyx\_Jr](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/onyx_jr/32/7253_2.png) [@Onyx\_Jr](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Onyx_Jr)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/36 "2005-07-13T06:35:46Z")
“hey lois… diharea” ---
**Author:** ![ly555is](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@ly555is](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ly555is)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 7:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/37 "2005-07-13T07:00:27Z")
vagina junction, what’s your function? - taking in sperm and spittin out babies ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 7:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/38 "2005-07-13T07:01:12Z")
stewie: oh look is serocis the wounder dog. ## Brian: (pukes) im not drunk i just have a stomach virus…(falls off stool) and an inner ear infection. Chris: (looking at a twinkie) hahahaha im gonna turn you into poo (eats twinkie) * * * Peter: i bet i can walk up to any of these guys and say “hey, arnt you richard simmons?” Cleavland: now peter thats just crazy talk Peter: hey aren’t you richard simmons…and arnt u richard simmons’ brother…richard simmons hehehehehehe. ---
**Author:** ![Daddie](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/daddie/32/7621_2.png) [@Daddie](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Daddie)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 8:27am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/39 "2005-07-13T08:27:51Z")
“Hey Lois, nice hooters!” ---
**Author:** ![Pass\_McGass](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pass_mcgass/32/7616_2.png) [@Pass\_McGass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pass_McGass)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661/40 "2005-07-13T13:13:38Z")
Louis: Typical male fantasy. Women drinking beer, pssh I bet you a man made that commercial. Peter: Oh course a man made the commercial, its a commercial louis not a delicious thanksgiving dinner. [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661.md?page=1) [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/random-family-guy-quote-thread/661.md?page=3)