# So I figured out how to be a true american. **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [July 25, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950 "2007-07-25T12:33:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/1 "2007-07-25T12:33:10Z")
And came up with a major corporation that I can sue. The company: **Kraft Foods** The product: ![http://users.adelphia.net/~cdabable/ezcheese.jpg](http://users.adelphia.net/~cdabable/ezcheese.jpg) The how-to: It starts innocently enough when I’m lured in by it’s tasty cream-cheese like flavoring, in simple to use spray format. Infact it helps me blow through crackers like nobodies business. I see the label on the top even reinforcing that eating the whole can is a good decision based on the “GOOD SOURCE OF CALCIUM” right on top of it. As I’m munching away being bored as usual I decided to read the Nutrition Facts, at which point I discover some horrifying facts. A. In order to get at least 70% of my daily requirements of calcium, I would have to eat the entire contents of the can itself. Hah, more like fair. B. By the same token doing this will score me 210% of my Saturated (Tasty) Fat requirements. More like “GOOD SOURCE OF HEART-ATTACK” C. It contains something called “Sodium Acid Pryophosphate”, now I don’t know about you but anything that contains “Acid”, and “Fire” is obviously bad. I don’t care if it’s some fancy form of salt, it has to be bad! I’m so gonna be a millionare. \<3 ---
**Author:** ![OfficerK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4da419/32.png) [@OfficerK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OfficerK)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/2 "2007-07-25T12:41:30Z")
worthless post rate down…oh wait. ---
**Author:** ![ryanmcell](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ryanmcell/32/7510_2.png) [@ryanmcell](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ryanmcell)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/3 "2007-07-25T12:42:35Z")
Or they are just gonna pay you off with a year supply of it 🙂 thus bringing the tasty goodness to every meal. ---
**Author:** ![RobHimself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e480ec/32.png) [@RobHimself](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RobHimself)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/4 "2007-07-25T12:43:16Z")
go get em fuzzy ---
**Author:** ![Bigairskier1580](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bigairskier1580/32/7612_2.png) [@Bigairskier1580](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bigairskier1580)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/5 "2007-07-25T12:45:42Z")
:lol: ---
**Author:** ![AFhockey31](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/afhockey31/32/5086_2.png) [@AFhockey31](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AFhockey31)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:46pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/6 "2007-07-25T12:46:23Z")
become an illegal alien?? oh wait. i just read what you wrote :snky: ---
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/7 "2007-07-25T12:49:32Z")
[quote=“ryanmcell,post:3,topic:32950"”] Or they are just gonna pay you off with a year supply of it 🙂 thus bringing the tasty goodness to every meal. [/quote] You’re right, cheesy cheese-fries with bacon would rule. ---
**Author:** ![RobHimself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e480ec/32.png) [@RobHimself](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RobHimself)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/8 "2007-07-25T12:52:52Z")
[quote=“FuzzyFish,post:7,topic:32950"”] You’re right, cheesy cheese-fries with bacon would rule. [/quote] Don’t you mean bacon salt? ---
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/9 "2007-07-25T12:54:11Z")
Bacon-salted, bacon. With a bacon mint on my pillow before I go to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Nikuk](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nikuk/32/7254_2.png) [@Nikuk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Nikuk)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/10 "2007-07-25T12:55:28Z")
[quote=“FuzzyFish”"] C. It contains something called “Sodium Acid Pryophosphate”, now I don’t know about you but anything that contains “Acid”, and “Fire” is obviously bad. I don’t care if it’s some fancy form of salt, it has to be bad! [/quote] **Disodium Pyrophosphate** or **Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate** is a buffering and chelating agent used in canned seafood, as a scald agent in poultry and pork, as a sequesterant in potato products, and is used to aid leavening in baked goods. **Other uses** In leather treatment it can be used to remove iron stains on hides during processing. It can stabilize hydrogen peroxide solutions against oxidation. It can be used for cleaning with sulphamic acid in some dairy applications. In Petroleum production, it can be used as a dispersant in oil well drilling muds. ---
**Author:** ![RobHimself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e480ec/32.png) [@RobHimself](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RobHimself)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/11 "2007-07-25T12:58:48Z")
yeah doesnt sound like its yummy ---
**Author:** ![AFhockey31](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/afhockey31/32/5086_2.png) [@AFhockey31](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AFhockey31)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 12:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/12 "2007-07-25T12:59:12Z")
you could just sue amtrak ??? [http://www.kpho.com/news/13746005/detail.html](http://www.kpho.com/news/13746005/detail.html) ---
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 1:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/13 "2007-07-25T13:13:55Z")
But that would actaully require an investment in a ticket, that is just absurd! ---
**Author:** ![AFhockey31](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/afhockey31/32/5086_2.png) [@AFhockey31](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AFhockey31)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/14 "2007-07-25T13:14:57Z")
[quote=“FuzzyFish,post:13,topic:32950"”] But that would actaully require an investment in a ticket, that is just absurd! [/quote] touche! ---
**Author:** ![Bigairskier1580](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bigairskier1580/32/7612_2.png) [@Bigairskier1580](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bigairskier1580)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/15 "2007-07-25T14:37:11Z")
[quote=“AFhockey31,post:12,topic:32950"”] you could just sue amtrak ??? [http://www.kpho.com/news/13746005/detail.html](http://www.kpho.com/news/13746005/detail.html) [/quote] Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?!?! ---
**Author:** ![jrod0187](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac91a4/32.png) [@jrod0187](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jrod0187)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/16 "2007-07-25T16:54:33Z")
Dammit Devin, I’m telling Erik what your doing during work time… j/k ---
**Author:** ![L8APEX1](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/l8apex1/32/7276_2.png) [@L8APEX1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/L8APEX1)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-figured-out-how-to-be-a-true-american/32950/17 "2007-07-25T21:00:42Z")
everything is turning to bacon… its the new pancakes