# so I got bit by a snake last night... in my kitchen. **URL:** \ **Category:** PittSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [October 6, 2005, 11:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536 "2005-10-06T11:07:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/1 "2005-10-06T11:07:28Z")
So im a little drunk and I go into my kitchen to grab another beer. Look down and see a fucking snake trying to wiggle its way across the linoleum floor. Im like :eek3: so then I decide to grab it. Its about 8-10" long and I get it by its tail end. Its flapping all over the place so i try to get it behind its head before it chomps down on my pecker or something. i get right up behind its head and the little fucker turns around and buries its fangs into the top of my thumb. I try to gently get him off (and it doesnt hurt a bit), but he wont let go. So i go back o my brothers room and say “hey Jay, can you give me a hand real quick”. so he comes out and sees this snake clamped onto my thumb and is like :eek3: anywho, he wants to take a pair of scissors and chop the thing right behind its head, but i make him get a screwdriver and get between its jaws and pry him off, which worked very well. Held onto him for about 10 minutes while we looked him up on the interweb. I figured it was a garter snake, and it was. He looked really cool too and was super cool/calm once I got him behind his head. I let him go outside, but I really wish I would have kept him as a pet. :hs: ---
**Author:** ![ShalerPunk](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shalerpunk/32/5976_2.png) [@ShalerPunk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShalerPunk)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:08am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/2 "2005-10-06T11:08:38Z")
and you want me to stop over? eff snakes. ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/3 "2005-10-06T11:09:26Z")
> [@ShalerPunk](#): > > and you want me to stop over? > > eff snakes. thats not the kind of snake I plan on showing you if you stop over. :naughty: ---
**Author:** ![ShalerPunk](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shalerpunk/32/5976_2.png) [@ShalerPunk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShalerPunk)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:10am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/4 "2005-10-06T11:10:52Z")
> [@Darkstar](#): > > thats not the kind of snake I plan on showing you if you stop over. :naughty: :eek4: :eek4: ---
**Author:** ![JackdUp](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jackdup/32/6015_2.png) [@JackdUp](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JackdUp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/5 "2005-10-06T11:22:07Z")
high speed pellet gun + safety glasses = indoor snake/rat/mouse/mole carnage. Annoying squirrel, no problemo! squeak! splat! Birds in the attic, no problemo! flutter! splat! DS’ unwanted pecker comin’ at ya, no problemo! Garbage raiding raccoon, well…using proper shot placement (right on the 'ol balloon knot) he won’t be back. ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/6 "2005-10-06T11:46:04Z")
> [@JackdUp](#): > > high speed pellet gun + safety glasses = indoor snake/rat/mouse/mole carnage. > > Annoying squirrel, no problemo! squeak! splat! > > Birds in the attic, no problemo! flutter! splat! > > DS’ unwanted pecker comin’ at ya, no problemo! > > Garbage raiding raccoon, well…using proper shot placement (right on the 'ol balloon knot) he won’t be back. if you shot my pet rat with a pellet gun I’d shove it down your cock hole, give it 10 pumps and make you wish you had never been born. ---
**Author:** ![SVshine03](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@SVshine03](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SVshine03)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 12:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/7 "2005-10-06T12:35:26Z")
> [@Darkstar](#): > > if you shot _my pet rat_ with a pellet gun I’d shove it down your cock hole, give it 10 pumps and make you wish you had never been born. Not only are snakes f -in gross but to pick one up and not scurry away like a little girl…hmm and 2 you have a pet RAT?!? MY GOD sorry lil off topic but for the love of god man ---
**Author:** ![SVshine03](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@SVshine03](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SVshine03)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 12:37pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/8 "2005-10-06T12:37:00Z")
> [@Darkstar](#): > > So im a little drunk and I go into my kitchen to grab another beer. Look down and see a fucking snake trying to wiggle its way across the linoleum floor. Im like :eek3: > > so then I decide to grab it. Its about **8-10" long** and I get it by its tail end. Its flapping all over the place so i try to get it behind its head before it chomps down on my pecker or something. i get right up behind its head and the little fucker turns around and buries its fangs into the top of my thumb. I try to gently get him off (and it doesnt hurt a bit), but he wont let go. So i go back o my brothers room and say “hey Jay, can you give me a hand real quick”. so he comes out and sees this snake clamped onto my thumb and is like :eek3: > > anywho, he wants to take a pair of scissors and chop the thing right behind its head, but i make him get a screwdriver and get between its jaws and pry him off, which worked very well. Held onto him for about 10 minutes while we looked him up on the interweb. I figured it was a garter snake, and it was. He looked really cool too and was super cool/calm once I got him behind his head. I let him go outside, but I really wish I would have kept him as a pet. :hs: And good thing I kept reading because I thought you were just having a wishful dream - - 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rookee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/rookee/32/5972_2.png) [@rookee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/rookee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 12:37pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/9 "2005-10-06T12:37:41Z")
> [@Darkstar](#): > > So im a little drunk and I go into my kitchen to grab another beer. Look down and see a fucking snake trying to wiggle its way across the linoleum floor. Im like :eek3: > > so then I decide to grab it. Its about 8-10" long and I get it by its tail end. Its flapping all over the place so i try to get it behind its head before it chomps down on my pecker or something. i get right up behind its head and the little fucker turns around and buries its fangs into the top of my thumb. I try to gently get him off (and it doesnt hurt a bit), but he wont let go. So i go back o my brothers room and say “hey Jay, can you give me a hand real quick”. so he comes out and sees this snake clamped onto my thumb and is like :eek3: > > anywho, he wants to take a pair of scissors and chop the thing right behind its head, but i make him get a screwdriver and get between its jaws and pry him off, which worked very well. Held onto him for about 10 minutes while we looked him up on the interweb. I figured it was a garter snake, and it was. He looked really cool too and was super cool/calm once I got him behind his head. I let him go outside, but I really wish I would have kept him as a pet. :hs: 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![fshowcars](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fshowcars/32/5937_2.png) [@fshowcars](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/fshowcars)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 12:38pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/10 "2005-10-06T12:38:57Z")
that’s cool… other than a snake being in your house. i had pet rats when i was in college. ---
**Author:** ![1320](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/1320/32/5949_2.png) [@1320](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/1320)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/11 "2005-10-06T13:06:14Z")
That would have been cool if you woulda just lopped off his head with the scissors while he was biting you. ---
**Author:** ![jinxxycat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jinxxycat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jinxxycat)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/12 "2005-10-06T13:10:53Z")
Wow. I like snakes and all but I’d be super pissed if one bit me :ugh: I’m glad you let him free. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ninjenn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c67d28/32.png) [@ninjenn](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ninjenn)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/13 "2005-10-06T13:15:54Z")
I would’ve screamed bloody murder if I saw a snake in my kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/14 "2005-10-06T13:16:33Z")
> [@SVshine03](#): > > Not only are snakes f -in gross but to pick one up and not scurry away like a little girl…hmm and 2 you have a pet RAT?!? MY GOD sorry lil off topic but for the love of god man my rat is cute as fuck. All the girls that come over are at first freaked out by him, but by the end of the night they are all asking to pet him. He’s more like a dog than a rat. He comes when you call him, he has tons of personality. Rats make great pets. ---
**Author:** ![JackdUp](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jackdup/32/6015_2.png) [@JackdUp](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JackdUp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:18pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/15 "2005-10-06T13:18:13Z")
After reading that, I’m having a flashback of Sam Jackson and Travolta sitting in the diner discussing dogs and pigs in Pulp Fiction. ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/16 "2005-10-06T13:20:14Z")
> [@SVshine03](#): > > And good thing I kept reading because I thought you were just having a wishful dream - - 😉 🤣 yeah I see what you mean. Yeah i wish it was 8-10 inches. You wouldnt believe how annoying it is having a 14" penis. Always sticking to inner thigh in the hot summer months. Just last week I was sitting down eating at a restaurant and this chick kept staring at my knee. Finally I got up and asked her what her problem was, and then I noticed my willy had untucked himself and was resting neatly on the top of my kneecap. I ended up fucking her behind a dumpster about 20 minutes later, but thats beside the point. ---
**Author:** ![jinxxycat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jinxxycat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jinxxycat)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/17 "2005-10-06T13:21:50Z")
> [@JackdUp](#): > > After reading that, I’m having a flashback of Sam Jackson and Travolta sitting in the diner discussing dogs and pigs in Pulp Fiction. Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ‘cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That’s a filthy animal. I ain’t eat nothin’ that ain’t got enough sense enough to disregard its own feces. 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/18 "2005-10-06T13:21:59Z")
> [@unicorn](#): > > That would have been cool if you woulda just lopped off his head with the scissors while he was biting you. why? its not like he lunged and attacked me. I picked the fucker up. If he would have came at me, it would have been a whole other story. ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/19 "2005-10-06T13:23:05Z")
> [@fshowcars](#): > > that’s cool… other than a snake being in your house. > > i had pet rats when i was in college. werd. People never believe me when I say they make great pets. Very clean, they dont smell, lots of personality. ---
**Author:** ![Darkstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536/20 "2005-10-06T13:23:39Z")
> [@huskysgrl](#): > > I would’ve screamed bloody murder if I saw a snake in my kitchen. pussy. it was just a little garter snake. [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-got-bit-by-a-snake-last-night-in-my-kitchen/177536.md?page=2)