# So I thought it was lettuce... **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [September 9, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212 "2005-09-09T19:57:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/1 "2005-09-09T19:57:20Z")
I decided to plant some things next to our house on the side where there was a flower bed, but really just dirt. I planted cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, and I thought I remembered planting lettuce. Well, I saw some big, green, long, leaves that looked like romaine lettuce. I rinsed my lettuce and put it in the fridge. So after cleaning the house after a great night at work I said golly, I want something light before I go to sleep. So I cut up the nice greens. Well, I put a little carrot in and a little onion and some parmesan cheese and some Italian dressing… I sit down to eat it and I take a bite and it’s sour, somewhat reminiscent of dandelions. You know what it reminded me of. We used to have this teacher in elementary school—she was a real piece—(Mrs. Dalbo was her name) that used to have these thinking hats. White was the “knowledge” hat and red was the “caring” hat. I guess I was always mad that she never let me into the Gifted and Talented program, because I apparently am not gifted or talented. Well I did get to be both at one time of the week when she would come in and wear a different hat. Anyway, one of those days she took our gifted and talented class out to the soccer field and we ate dandelions. Of course all her little peons at the time agreed with her that eating oats that have already been digested by the horse were far tastier than the oats preceding the horse’s mouth. I didn’t quite understand. I think I just spit it out. I can’t remember, but I remember that the hats were changed to shoes or scarves after I left. I always wanted to wear a thinking surrong. So I suspect that it’s was not lettuce. My kitty also told me it was not lettuce, as he is a connoisseur of lettuce leaves. My cat can be a bit effeminate at times. ---
**Author:** ![iamjeff6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@iamjeff6](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/iamjeff6)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/2 "2005-09-09T20:01:02Z")
were you born under power lines or did you eat paint chips as a child? ---
**Author:** ![Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@Ninja](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Ninja)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/3 "2005-09-09T20:03:21Z")
I lost you at… You know what it reminded me of. ---
**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/4 "2005-09-09T20:18:03Z")
I don’t feel very appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![HotRodKid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/hotrodkid/32/7609_2.png) [@HotRodKid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/HotRodKid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/5 "2005-09-09T20:35:02Z")
> [@Ninja](#): > > I lost you at… > > You know what it reminded me of. i kept thinking there was a point … reading that was like trying to find the plot in a cheap porno 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MonteCarloChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@MonteCarloChick](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MonteCarloChick)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/6 "2005-09-09T20:43:11Z")
lol So you made dandelion salad? Ewwies ---
**Author:** ![Vrooom](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/vrooom/32/7198_2.png) [@Vrooom](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Vrooom)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/7 "2005-09-09T21:05:49Z")
ahaha that was a great story. first thing thats made me laugh all day…didnt understand what the point of it was…but good one all the same ---
**Author:** ![Jon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@Jon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jon)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/8 "2005-09-09T21:15:34Z")
Its the way you told the story…awesome. ---
**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/9 "2005-09-09T21:49:01Z")
Well, this story provides the most imperfect segway into… There were two cop cars infront of my house. I wondered why. Somebody broke into my neighbor’s house and took all her bras and underwear. Goodness, what is wrong with people. I mean, she’s good looking (late 20s) but WTF. ---
**Author:** ![HotRodKid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/hotrodkid/32/7609_2.png) [@HotRodKid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/HotRodKid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/10 "2005-09-09T22:01:07Z")
tell her ill return them tomorrow i didnt think she would notice that i emptied her hamper, cause i know she does laundry on wednesday … woops ---
**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/11 "2005-09-09T22:04:23Z")
No they actually climbed above their porch and into their bedroom window. ---
**Author:** ![Boomin99GT](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boomin99gt/32/7306_2.png) [@Boomin99GT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Boomin99GT)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/12 "2005-09-10T01:59:51Z")
ok… so I thought this was one of those jokes that uses a dumb setup line like “I planted stuff next to my house” and has a funny ending, but it actually ended up to be the worst story i’ve ever heard in my entire life. I appload you for your achievement. ---
**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/13 "2005-09-10T13:03:44Z")
> [@Boomin99GT](#): > > ok… so I thought this was one of those jokes that uses a dumb setup line like “I planted stuff next to my house” and has a funny ending, but it actually ended up to be the worst story i’ve ever heard in my entire life. I appload you for your achievement. I love you too. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_Cheater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Lucky\_Cheater](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Lucky_Cheater)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/14 "2005-09-10T13:13:19Z")
woah…I am at a loss for words HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you ate weeds -Cheater- ---
**Author:** ![Janny](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/janny/32/7594_2.png) [@Janny](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Janny)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/15 "2005-09-10T13:13:46Z")
I’m still confused about what you actually planted and ate… ---
**Author:** ![DJ\_X-StatiK](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dj_x-statik/32/7579_2.png) [@DJ\_X-StatiK](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/DJ_X-StatiK)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/16 "2005-09-10T13:15:35Z")
oOOh…ew doesn’t sounds that great, lol ---
**Author:** ![Juan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a698b9/32.png) [@Juan](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Juan)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/17 "2005-09-10T13:32:40Z")
lol ---
**Author:** ![Violator](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/violator/32/7278_2.png) [@Violator](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Violator)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/18 "2005-09-10T17:22:03Z")
> [@RedGoober4Life](#): > > Well, this story provides the most imperfect segway into… > > There were two cop cars infront of my house. I wondered why. Somebody broke into my neighbor’s house and took all her bras and underwear. Goodness, what is wrong with people. I mean, she’s good looking (late 20s) but WTF. Custom scented panty hats! only $9.95 each one is unique ---
**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/19 "2005-09-10T19:29:59Z")
> [@Janny](#): > > I’m still confused about what you actually planted and ate… I don’t know. Weeds? Cucumber leaves? Not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Janny](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/janny/32/7594_2.png) [@Janny](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Janny)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212/20 "2005-09-10T20:06:47Z")
you couldn’t tell it wasn’t lettuce? amazing. I’m truly amazed. [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-thought-it-was-lettuce/2212.md?page=2)