# SRS BZNS' words of wisdom
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432
**Category:** Shift518 Off Topic
**Created:** [November 17, 2009, 12:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432 "2009-11-17T12:05:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@SRS\_BZNS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SRS_BZNS)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 12:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/1 "2009-11-17T12:05:22Z")
I figured I would archive some of my better posts here so I can and others can use them elsewhere. Please go forth and spread the gospell.
[quote=“SRS BZNS”"]
It’s always been a fantasy of mine to be a sex slave for 2 bears, male and female, pleasing the male when she’s tired, and vice versa. Slowly sliding my lips up and down his thick shaft, tasting his pre-cum on my tongue. Once he’s had enough of that, he rolls over onto his back, lifting me up as though I weighed nothing. Gently placing me on his cock, I guide him in, feeling him stretch me wide open. I moan with pleasure, feeling him fill me up. He growls softly, I feel it rumble deep in his chest, vibrating all the way down his body and through mine. He continues to lift me up and then pull me down. He’s doing all the work for me, it feels so good, the warmth of the fur, his paws either side of my waist. He is in total control, I’m just nothing compared to his vast size and strength, but I have total trust in him, I know he won’t hurt me. I feel the pace quicken, almost imperceptibly. I slowly stroke myself, feeling myself nearing the point of no return coming closer with every stroke. I can hear the growl getting louder now; he speeds up even more, forcing me further and further down onto his thick cock. If it wasn’t for the fact I my body is releasing so many endorphines, I would probably be screaming in agony. Except I am panting and whining, just like a bitch, begging her mate to fill her up. His claws dig in deeper, the pain, its excsquisite. It sends me over the edge. My head goes back, I let out a short grunt, I feel my cock explode, covering his chest fur in my seed. I keep stroking, it looks as though I’m trying to rip my cock out. I let out another grunt, another torrent flows forth, then another and another. A drop lands on the beasts muzzle. He seems confused for a moment. That’s what I think. He digs his paws in even harder now and slams me onto his cock, I feel his grumble turn into a roar. He’s cumming, oh my god. I can feel in, filling me up. It’s undescribable. He’s mating with me, he’s claimed me. I feel him slow, his cock still throbbing within me, it seems as though there’s no more room for his cum. It’s dripping out of me, onto his fur. I reach down, and then bring my hand up, tasting him. It’s more than I ever expected. It’s heaven.
[/quote]
> In their teenage years most guys want to know about fingering a girl. Fingering for some girls is more innocent process (but with the same pleasure) than if you’d try to do it with your penis, and this is actually the best way to seduce her. This is a great technique to find out what she likes in sex and know about her sexually sensitive spots. If you are trying to finger her for the first time, you have more chances to get everything you want if you’re really self-confident and charismatic person. You can improve your self-confidence and build the “alpha-male” personality with the help of [subliminal messaging software](http://www.wordofmouthexperiment.com/dedpyhto/) . But this article is related to the technique but not the psychological aspect of the seduction process, so let’s begin.
> Remember, what you are dealing with is a very sensitive part of her body, so be gentle when you begin and then gradually move on to making more rigorous moves when she is comfortable with it. We recommend you to download the video tutorial on fingering (mentioned above) before you read on.
> **Step 1**
> The first step is to massage her mound with palm. Tell her to gently ride your palms to start with.
> **Step 2**
> Apply some lubricant to your fingertip and trace the outer of her vagina to know how wet she is. Also lubricant will help her glide over your fingers smoothly. Gently touch her clitoris and her opening. Start very slow at first and then gradually move up and down or side movements.
> **Step 3**
> Soon she will become excited and then you can put a finger into her vagina but very gently. Insert your finger as far as it can go, may be upto secong or knucke. If you know her G spot, rub it with a circular motion that is smooth and regular. Now start with the finger intercourse moving your finger in and out of her vagina. At the same time use the thumb of the same hand to massage her clitoris. You should have a rhythm and coordination that is perfect.
> **Step 4**
> When she really gets to a high point, her breathing will change and vagina muscles will flex against your hand movements. To help build her orgasm, it is advisable to push your fingers against her thrusts. Continue stimulating her with the regular rhythm. Rhythm is important because it gives her the orgasm and stopping it might result in her losing the sensation and orgasm altogether. So even if she starts to moan or groan and scream don’t stop the rhythmic stimulation.
> **Useful Tips:**
> • Your nails should not be sharp or have rough edges, otherwise you might hurt her.
> • With condoms purchase some lube that is water based. It will be handy to you if you expect an intercourse. In case you do not have the lube, your saliva or her juice will be useful. But never finger her dry.
> • Before you insert your fingers into her vagina ask her, because many girls don’t like that idea. Or if you don’t want to ask, just insert a little of your fingers into her and her body language will tell you about her comfort level.
> • Rest the palm of your hand on her mon. this will be less stressful to you and the movement you will get through this will be similar to when she herself does the fingering. Be sure not to move the palm, because the movement might irritate her because of the hair on her mons.
[quote=“Cock sucking slut”"]
I think that most guys are easy to please when it comes to sucking their cock. Sure, you might find yourself the occasional connoisseur, but generally if you go for quantity over quality you can’t go wrong. But, if you want to blow his mind when you blow his cock, here’s some tips. I’ve got most of my information from asking other people, both guys and girls, and I’ve included stuff I’ve learned in my experience as a cock-sucking slut!
First of all, the general opinion seems to be that unless there’s a pressing reason (like you’re sucking off total strangers on a crowded train) it’s preferable if you’re naked. Particularly if you’ve got nice tits (and let’s face it, boys are less fussy about the tits they can get in their bedroom than they are about the ones in porn), topless is almost a minimum requirement. There are a couple of advantages to being naked when you’re giving a blowjob. Firstly, it’s easier to clean up – just rub anything that lands on you into your skin. Sure, you’ll never get a nice Monica Lewinski-style souvenir, but at the same time you’ll save money on dry cleaning. Secondly, it means easy access so you or he can play with your bits and pieces – you’ll both love it, more on this later.
Now, obviously getting naked before giving head will decrease the spontaneity a bit. Spontaneity is something a lot of guys like, and I think there are a few reasons. Firstly, the idea that you can’t wait to drink the cum straight out of him will probably drive your man wild. I remember watching in awe as my best friend dropped to her knees at a music festival once, her man loved it so much she only just got her mouth around his dick in time to swallow his load. I think a spontaneous blowjob also has a subtle psychological effect. If you randomly whip out his cock and suck him off, it will seem more likely to him that you’ll do it again some time.
So to put a bit of that spontaneity back in, you could try a couple of things that work for me. Obviously, you could take advantage of already being naked, if you’re changing clothes or having a shower. Another thing I’ve found drives most men wild is to drop to your knees, start sucking on their cock, and then tear your clothes off. Finally, you could do a little bit of planning and be wearing something that will come off quickly and easily as you move toward his big, throbbing member. You could, of course, suck him off fully clothed every once in a while, some guys love it like that, some like to have a view.
A very important facet of your blowjob is what I will, for want of a better word, call presentation. I’ve found that there’s not much turns a man on more than the idea that you can’t resist sucking on his dick. Paradoxically, a bit of teasing is also a big help, particularly if you’re trying to make and impression. The old sucking on a prop trick is clich�d because it works – don’t be scared to use it. If there’s nothing suitable readily available, suck on your finger. This is extremely effective if you do it in public. Just keep your eyes locked on his, so he knows the prop is standing in for his dick, not someone else’s.
In a similar vein, give him a big sloppy kiss and pretend his tongue is his dick. Suck it into your mouth and run your tongue over it. Some guys like this more than others.
Once you get him alone with plenty of time, give him a show. You or he can take your clothes off, but if you want him to do it you might need to get it started to give him the idea – men can be a bit slow sometimes! If you’re a confident girl, give him a bit of a striptease, with or without music, finish up with a few sexy poses, then get out his dick and chow down. If you’re a bit less outgoing, or you’re shy, take your own clothes off, but do it slowly. One thing that used to help me was imagining your hands belong to someone else. Move a slowly as you can, turning occasionally. Caress your own skin like a lover should. A big teasing tip: remove your underwear with your back to him, but turn between bra and panties so he gets a look at your tits. Pinch your nipples a bit for him, I’ve never met a man that didn’t work on. If you’re insecure about your body, do all this with the lights low; guys have a pretty good imagination, so chances are he’ll remember you looking sexier than you think.
So now we’re at the stage where you’re naked and he’s starting to go crazy with lust. You need to get over there and start sucking, and you can just do that directly if you want. This works well in terms of making him feel irresistible. I would recommend saying something like, “Get that big dick out, honey, I want to suck you dry,” as you advance on him. Try to time it so your knees hit the floor as his cock pops out of his pants, that way it’s more like a porn movie, and he’ll love it.
To keep things in your control, you need to keep him mesmerised, so I’d recommend slow and sexy movements. If he’s standing I like to walk over to him, swaying my hips, and grab his belt. Pull him up against you, press your tits into his chest, and kiss him as you undo his pants. Get down on your knees as you push his undies down; kiss down his body if you want, I would recommend looking into his eyes.
If he’s sitting I like to crawl over to him. If he’s on a chair I crawl all the way, but if he’s on a bed I’ll walk to the bed then crawl up to him. As you crawl, arch your back downward like a cat stretching. Try brushing your nipples on the floor. This leaves your ass sticking up in the air, and the crawling motion will make it sway enticingly. When you reach him, stop at his dick, give him a lustful look and start getting into his pants.
This is the point at which you either whip him out and get going, or you turn the teasing up to eleven. I have driven guys wild by starting to blow them through their underwear (this works better with stretchy skin-tight undies than with loose silk boxers). Try giving him the impression that as much as you’re teasing him, the self-denial is twice as bad for you. A girlfriend of mine likes to savour the smell as if it’s a cigar. Do whatever you feel like, the important thing is you’re teasing him to make it better, not to make his life miserable!
How you proceed once you’re face-to-face with his cock depends on what condition it’s in. Young guys will be just about ready to cum, while old guys won’t be hard yet (generally – prepare to be surprised, it’s part of the fun!). One thing I absolutely love is putting a flaccid dick in my mouth and feeling it swell up in there. I’ll also pop the young guys straight in so that if they’re going to lose it we can get the first one out of the way and start again. Otherwise I generally give the cock a bit of a tongue bath.
I’d like to talk a bit about taste. Personally, I think cock tastes good. It doesn’t have to be straight out of the shower, I don’t mind if it’s developed a bit of an aroma, within reason. If you pull it out of his pants and the smell beats you over the head take him off to the shower, give him a rinse, and continue there. Trust me, most guys will do anything for head, so he won’t mind. Just try not to grimace or retch. You might find a man who wants you to lick things off him. Whipped cream and stuff is fine (although wash well to avoid smelling of cheese), no problems. Lots of guys like you to lick your pussy juices off them (assuming you’re not using a condom, which means only in a trusting relationship once you’ve been tested – very important), which is something I have no problem with. I would advise you to taste yourself on your own if you think you might do this – just lick your fingers when you masturbate, and that way you won’t surprise yourself. Some guys want to do the ass-to-mouth thing they’ve seen in porn. Leave this one in the videos, it’s not worth the risk associated with ingesting your own shit. Finally, personally I hate the taste of latex, but I know some of my girlfriends don’t mind it. I always use flavoured condoms for casual sex so he’ll at least taste of chocolatey latex.
So, we’re up to licking his dick all over. Try to savour the experience, it’ll turn him on even more if you’re loving what you’re doing. One important thing about cocks is that you can push them up (against his stomach), but it could hurt him if you push it down too hard (some guys love this, though). Most guys like it if you push their cock up against their stomach and lick the underside of it. You can move down and lick their balls (gently!), and I go a bit lower to lick the perineum. This is where if you are into it, and don’t mind the risk, you can give your man’s ass a bit of a licking.
Usually at this point you’ve got one hand lifting his cock by the tip, and the other’s not really doing much, which leads us to the question of what to do with your hands. If you’re lucky enough to have a big man, your hands will be very useful because they will be the only way to stimulate the base of his dick. Wrap your hand around his shaft and pump the bit you can’t fit into your mouth. You can do the same thing if you want to concentrate on his head with your lips and tongue.
If you’re at a loss, you could always play with yourself. I’ve sucked a lot of guys who loved to look down and see me sucking hard on their cock while I tweaked and pulled both my nipples. If you’re planning to blow this guy again, be sure to show him the wet spot you leave behind because you got so turned on sucking on his big, beautiful, hard cock.
By now you should have a big, hard cock in your mouth (you lucky thing!) and your man’s full attention. As far as I can tell, the consensus seems to be that sloppy is better. Make sure you’re not dehydrated before you start so you can generate spit – you want to leave a shiny layer all over him. He’ll love the idea that you drool at the thought of sucking him off, and I’m told it feels better. This is also an area where fingering yourself gives you an advantage – just use your own juices to lube him up, supplementing his precum and your saliva. You might have seen in porn (or maybe real life, who knows?!) girls spitting at cocks. This is something I personally find a bit weird, but if a guy asked for it I’d do it. What I find sexier is nestling him between my boobs and sort of dribbling on him. Anything that misses I just wipe from my tits onto his cock.
Speaking of this kind of thing, I’ve been with guys who’ve asked for a titfuck, and I’m usually happy to oblige. I think with this kind of thing the turn-on is more visual than anything else, so be sure to look up at him with your sexy eyes and make a real show of sliding your boobs over his hard-on. Rather than waste saliva on this (it’s hard to make enough) I recommend you get some lube. If it doesn’t make you feel silly, a bit of dirty talking wouldn’t go astray. One thing I do like is rubbing the cock over my nipples. In fact I love to tell a man how wonderful his cock is as I rub it over my skin – face, tits, nipples, through my hair. I think it’s because it feels a bit naughty.
On the subject of talking, I have this to say: if you can talk to the guy, it’s not a blowjob. Your mouth should be full most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, handjobs are great, especially at the end. I love to watch a dick twitch and pump a big load of cum at me, watch it fly towards me, and feel it splatter on my skin. If you’re giving head, however, there needs to be lots of contact between your mouth and his dick. If you want to talk to him, do it between deep sucks of his cock. For example, ask him how it feels, then bury him in your mouth while he groans his ecstatic response, then pop him out again and tell him you love it too. Also, give him the impression talking is secondary to sucking by not answering him immediately. If he asks you a yes/no question, don’t even take him out of your mouth, just answer with an “Uh-huh” with your mouth full.
In terms of incoherent noises, I would advise you not to fake sexual pleasure – most guys won’t buy it if you fake an orgasm while blowing them. If you do want to make some sort of moan, think more of eating a delicious chocolate dessert rather than being skilfully fingered. Of course, if you’re going to cum for real, just let it out, and if you are playing with yourself (or he’s playing with you), respond to that too. The noises he really wants to hear are the ones that show how hard you’re working – the sucking, slurping, popping noise of a girl trying as hard as she can to drink her man’s cum!
If you talk to him, don’t be too clever – remember most of his blood’s not in his brain anymore! When I first see his cock I like to complement it – tell him it’s big, hot, hard, beautiful, whatever’s not too blatant a lie. If you really can’t complement its appearance, give it a good licking or sucking and then tell him it’s delicious. In fact, tell him that regardless. During the course of the blowjob you can reinforce the message by repeating it. You could also tell him how much you love what you’re doing, or how turned on you are (don’t lie about this – he might check). If this is just stage one of the lovemaking, tell him what you look forward to doing next. If he’s a stranger you’ve picked up, you could tell him you never do this but you find him irresistible. At the end, it’s usually a good idea to give the guy permission and encouragement. It’s nice to let him know you want to swallow, or take it on your face, or whatever. If there’s something you don’t want, tell him you do want something else, so instead of, “Don’t you dare cum in my mouth, you perve,” go for, “I want it all over my tits, you big stud.” If you don’t want the cum on you, tell him you want to watch it shoot, then point his dick past you.
As far as technique goes, I think it comes pretty naturally. You’re mimicking intercourse using your mouth, essentially. The difference is teeth, tongue, and the “fact” that good girls don’t do it. Lots of guys are freaked out by teeth in blowjobs, some guys like it. You could ask, but I prefer to let him ask me for it. Generally, just use your teeth either to scrape gently over the shaft, or to kind of grip the head at the back and pull, once again, gently! The tongue is a whole other matter. You need to use it. I don’t have a tongue piercing because I like my teeth and don’t want them chipped or ground down, but apparently this really does make a difference. Your tongue should slither around him, wrapping itself around the head, sliding along the shaft. Your technique will vary depending on the length of your tongue. A favourite among guys seems to be sticking your tongue out to lick his balls while his dick is buried in your mouth, but unless he’s miniscule you’ll need to control your gag reflex.
Now, guys love going down your throat, which is something I blame on porn. I personally have a gag reflex, so I can’t do the relentless throat-fucking thing you see in movies, and I don’t think there’s anything sexy about puking. If you are with someone who wants to make you throw up, make sure you get most of it on him. This deep-throat thing is ok as long as you’re in control, though. Once again, probably because it feels naughty, it can be a real turn-on to go as far down a cock as you can. I think guys actually prefer it if you gag a little bit, pop up for air, then dive straight back onto them, rather than either the professional “I can do this all night” thing or if you go too hard and spend minutes coughing. If a guy grabs your head and you’re not one of those girls who likes that, or if you don’t trust this particular guy, take his hands and move them down to your nipples. Then suck him as deep and as hard as you can to show there’s no hard feelings.
If you’re still at a loss as far as technique goes, get some porn and try anything you see that you like. What’s even more fun is to get some porn, then watch it with your man and give him what he sees on screen (maybe a good idea to check the movie on your own first to avoid nasty surprises!). Guys love it if you can give them exactly the same rhythm and action as the slut on screen.
After doing your thing for a while, he’ll be getting ready to unload for you. If you’re a bit inexperienced and can’t tell, he’ll start to do something different – lots of guys start to thrust at you, which means they want you to use their rhythm rather than yours so go with that; some guys go still, so basically don’t let that freak you out; some guys start talking more, or get less coherent and more grunty. If he starts saying, “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” over and over, he’s probably a little way off and needs some help, which you can provide by popping him out of your mouth and begging for a big load!
You’ll learn to read the signs pretty easily – when he cums, his pelvic muscles all squeeze up to shoot the semen out of him and this means his balls will lift up and his shaft will twitch. Then you’ll find yourself with a jet of spunk to deal with, and you should think about how you’re going to do that well before it happens.
Personally, I think cum tastes fantastic – I’d buy it in bottles if I could – so obviously I have no problem swallowing it. If you do, I suggest two things. First of all, catch it on your skin, then rub it in – it’s sexy without you needing to taste it. Secondly, try to acquire a taste for it, because there are some fun places you can blow a man where you don’t want to leave a mess (your car, for example).
Some guys want to cum on you (usually face or tits after a blowjob), which might be their way of marking you or something. Whatever it is, there’s not much reason not to let them if you’re in private. If you’re in public (or about to be), maybe consider just how bad the consequences could be, although chances are people won’t really notice much. One of the sexiest things I’ve ever done was to blow a random guy first thing in the morning at university, have him wipe his dick in my hair, and then walk around all day being able to smell the faint aroma of cock in my hair. None of my girlfriends commented, so I assume they didn’t notice, but I was so turned on I had to go and buy some more panties at lunchtime.
To give a man the best of both worlds, do one of these, then the other. Either have him cum on you, then scoop it up and eat it, or collect his cum in your mouth and dribble it all over yourself. I have a friend who likes to “accidentally on purpose” get a few dribbles on her clothes to make herself look and feel more slutty.
Once you finish, don’t forget to thank him – he’ll thank you, but won’t expect thanks back. If he’s a regular of yours tell him you have so much fun you need to do it more often. If he’s more of a one-off thing tell him you’d love to do it again.
I hope all this helps. Please remember to be safe, and that nobody has the right to force you to do something you don’t want to do.
[/quote]
[quote=“SRS BZNS”"]
**This thread is now about members stories and first hand accounts of mutual masterbation**
**GO GO GO**
Several years ago I was set up with a blind date, who turned out to be an attractive, intelligent woman. Our first date was dinner, after which I took her home and said goodnight. I called her for a second date a few days later, and we set up another dinner. It went better than the first date so I was not surprised when she invited me in after I took her home.
We had another glass of wine, snuggled up and kissed a few times, touched each other. I asked her if she wanted to make love. She said yes, but did I have a condom. I didn’t. She admitted that she was afraid of disease and pregnancy, and asked me to be understanding. I said she was not unreasonable, after all we did not really know each other; but I hoped we could make love another time.
She said yes, stood up and removed her top and unhooked her bra. Her breasts were fabulous for her age, perky tight and firm. From the side the almost looked like two pink herseys kisses on her chest. They filled my cupped hand and a little more as I caressed and groped them. The hard on I had lost a few minutes ago returned. I was so hard it began to hurt. This was the type of hard on that you feel could penetrate straight trough a gilr and poke out her belly button. I said that I thought she did not want to make love, and she replied that she did not want to have intercourse, then removed her skirt, her small extremely low cut lacey black panties and shoes. Her beautiful naked body was driving me crazy. I wanted to touch and kiss every inch.
She asked if I was going to just sit there. I took my clothes off in record time. She reached over and playfully stroked my cock, lightly letting her finger dance along the shaft. I thought I would cum. She said there were other ways to have sex. We went into her bedroom and made love. I explored her vagina, rubbed her clit and made her cum, over and over again. She stroked my cock and made me cum in huge amounts. We rested, and she said she wanted more. Bite her nipples, suck her toes. She got on all fours and bent over. She said to touch her clit, she wanted it rough wanted me to put my thumb on her anus and make her cum. When I was finished, she licked and bit my scrotum while she stroked my cock, then she put a finger in my anus while she jacked me off. I was as spent as if I had intercourse. I had never had better sex.
[/quote]
---
### Author:  [@SRS\_BZNS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SRS_BZNS)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 12:09pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/2 "2009-11-17T12:09:16Z")
If anyone know the where abouts of other posts of mine like this please feel free to add them
> [@SRS BZNS"](#):
>
> Sex means more than intercourse; exploring all the different variations enhances your sex life and keeps it from getting stale. Masturbating your partner can be very exciting for both of you. So, read on and learn how to let your fingers do the walking.
>
> Mutual masturbation can be a thrilling experience, but first, we need to study the basics of manual technique. Most men feel women aren’t skilled at handling penises. Their grips are too limp, lacking conviction and exuberance. They seem afraid to apply pressure, yet often pull or tug at inappropriate moments, disrupting the rhythm. They also have a tendency to scratch. Clearly, we all need to be more knowledgeable about the proper methods of mutual masturbation. Either you or your partner can perform the following exercises. But it is written with an experienced woman in mind.
>
> The first concern is always a matter of size. Is it large or small? Somewhere in between? No issue has ever received greater attention than the size of a man’s penis. Man’s obsession with cock size is probably a mental vestige of his primitive primate past, but as far as human sexuality is concerned, it’s a waste of time. A large penis doesn’t have any effect on a woman’s physical enjoyment unless she has a deep-seated psychological attachment to well-endowed men.
>
> How about its shape? Is it curved like a boomerang or is it straight like an arrow? Does your fist fit around the spongy mass of the shaft? Does your hand completely engulf it? This is good because you can squeeze it all at once. But don’t be an organ grinder. Be gentle, yet firm. If the penis has an unusual girth, your hand may not completely encircle it. In such cases, try both hands to insure you don’t miss any of the tender areas while stroking.
>
> Explore every square inch of his genital surface area. A man loves to have his penis worshipped, played with, tickled, fondled, massaged. Let him know that you are not afraid, ashamed or disgusted. Don’t start stroking or jerking quite yet. Just feel the fullness of it all. Let your fingers run from the balls to the top of the cock head, swirl around there, then slide back down the other half and end back down at the balls. The movements should be swift and smooth, without bumping or stalling.
>
> Now you’re ready for some stepped-up action, but you don’t want to suddenly lapse into a series of beatings, whackings, jackings and jerkings. Tease the more sensitive areas of the penis. These include: the glans and corona, and the tender part of the bottom side of his penis.
>
> Bring your palm up to the top of the glans and park it there flat out, fingers held together and stiff, thumb pointed straight out. Spin it around as if you were trying desperately to remove the tight lid of a jar. Your man will be groaning in delicious agony. The glans is super sensitive and this motion will bring him exquisite pleasure. He might grimace and cry out, and probably try to push your hand away, but he’s loving every second of it. Now’s your chance to be the one who plows ahead even though he’s pleading with you to stop!
>
> After you’ve done this for a while, slip your hand down his testicles and ever-so-gently grab them in your fingers, softly tugging them down away from his shaft. If they are big and bulky, like Grade AA eggs, bounce them up and down a couple of times in your hand. Tell him how heavy they feel, how sexy they are.
>
> Whatever you do, don’t squeeze them! This could put a real damper on your lovemaking for the rest of the day. You might notice that one of his nuts hangs lower than the other. This is perfectly normal. Once you feel comfortable with the way his balls feel in your hand, gently roll them up the underside of his shaft. Depending on their size and the amount of room in the scrotum, they will most likely reach to half way of his penis. He will like the way this feels.
>
> Now, let go of his testicles and bring your fingers together in a makeshift goosehead formation. Very lightly, begin to stroke his erection with your fingers, running them all over his sensitive shaft and balls. You may wish to slip the pocket of your goosehead handhold over the tip of his penis, letting it rest there for a few seconds.
>
> About this time, the penis will probably start to emit its natural lubricant. Pre-seminal fluid is nature’s way of moistening the canal of the urethra so that the spermatozoa can swim more easily out of it; it also lubricates the head of the penis. An uncircumcised penis gathers up this lubricant within the foreskin and keeps the head very moist and slick. Use the juice to lubricate the shaft. Sometimes, its musky smell can be an aromatic aphrodisiac for you both. If there is little or no pre-cum, don’t be concerned. It is not a requirement, and it doesn’t always appear at exactly the same time.
>
> In any case a good lubricant will work just as well. Add a drop of moisturizing lotion to the shaft and gently rub it in. Alexandra Penney, in her book, “How to Make Love to a Man”, is very keen on massaging the lotion between one’s hands before putting it on the penis because sometimes the cream is cold and the palm-rubbing warms it up.
>
> If your partner doesn’t seem to have a very firm erection, try using a cinnamon-based ointment which you can find at your local sex novelty store or acquire through a mail catalog. The slight burning sensation often causes the penis to become rock-hard. Adding a little dab to the testicles also helps. If you really want to do a number on him, slip a dollop of Ben-Gay on his balls and watch him go through the roof.
>
> Techniques
> One of the secrets of great manual sex is varying your hand motions. Here are a few indispensable techniques:
>
> SWITCH HITTER
> Use both hands, alternating back and forth in a pattern you develop to offer him the most arousal. He will notice the difference. Don’t get into a routine where the strokes are dull, and noncommittal. Give it to him good. Get him to the point where he’s singing out, “I second that hand motion!”
>
> DOUBLE WHAMMY
> How about going double or nothing! Bring both well-lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some cocks are so big they require both hands. If your partner’s doesn’t, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his balls, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft, move then together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you’re holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands, one up, one down at the same time. There’s no doubt that two hands are better than one.
>
> THE ANVIL STROKE
> Bring one hand down, letting it stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom. When it hits the bottom, release it. Meanwhile you’re bringing your corresponding hand down to the top of the shaft, creating an alternating beating motion, hence the name “anvil stroke.” Think of those blacksmith duos who keep up a double beat pounding motion as they beat that rod of iron on a piping-hot anvil.
>
> THE SHUTTLE COCK
> Not many people have heard of the “shuttle cock,” but it’s one of the best. Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. In order to visualize the position, think of yourself holding a clarinet. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding on to the loose skin of the shaft. Shuttling it back and forth in this manner may not seem incredibly thrilling to him at first, but pretty soon, as it builds up momentum, it will drive him out of his mind. Orgasms encountered via this method are sometimes messy, but always memorable.
>
> THE BOOKENDS
> Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down. Continue in this manner for a while. The constant tugging of the skin around the balls and the mons pubis will do the trick.
>
> THE FLAME
> Place your hands down on either side, your fingers pointing away from the cock. Pretend you’re a campfire girl and start spinning his pecker like a stick of wood. This way you’ll keep the home fires burning for a long time to come.
>
> THE BASE CLUTCH
> Tighten your thumb and forefinger around the base of the shaft, pressing down on the balls. This will cut off the blood (acting as an impromptu cock ring) and help you steady the shaft in your hand. If the skin on it is slick and immutable, you can stroke the penis with more friction, thereby enhancing the excruciating experience.
>
> THE LOVE TUG
> As you are stroking him, lightly pull on the wispy strands of pubic hair sprouting from his testicles. Don’t pull so hard that you remove them, but tease them gently, lovingly. This will make him holler with delight and awe at your inventiveness.
>
> THE TWO-TIMER
> Tickle his balls with one hand while the other jerks him up and down.
>
> THE THIGH-SWATTER
> Use the hand that is currently unemployed to firmly but lovingly pat his inner thighs.
>
> BEST FIST FORWARD
> Place your fist against his perineum as you’re stroking him. He’ll probably start opening his legs a little wider, giving you more space to press against. Guaranteed to drive him wild.
>
> THE MILKER
> Opposite of the Anvil - Hands alternate ‘milking’ up the penis, starting at the base and working all the way up past the tip.
>
> THE PERPETUAL PENETRATION
> Like the Anvil, but rather than just grabbing the penis at the top, let his penis ‘penetrate’ into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous for best results. Try faster or slower to taste.
>
> THE PALM SWIRL
> Use your open palm to swirl around the head, the way your tongue would lick an ice cream cone. This sensitizes the head, and will make it get larger and turn (even more) red. Try reversing direction for a surprise.
>
> TINY CIRCLES
> As in “The Palm Swirl”, use your open palm on his glans, but stop at each “hour of the clock”, and make circular motions with your open palm. This will make this part of the head EXTREMELY sensitive, so move to the next hour after a few circles.
>
> THE RING
> Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger, and pump up and down with this ring. When you get to the top, close the ring, then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.
>
> THE DOOR KNOB
> Turn the head of his penis like a you’re trying to open a door knob coated with grease. It won’t turn, but he may flip. Now try turning the other way. Repeat.
>
> THE SHAFT
> Stroke only his shaft, ignoring the head. You will notice it swelling and turning red. When it’s bright red and rock hard, use the Door Knob, the Palm Swirl, or the Perpetual Penetration.
>
> THE SPOT PINCH
> Lightly and slowly run a finger up the under side of his cock. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch it, squeeze it, nibble it, tease it. This is a good spot to pinch to turn a soft cock rock solid.
>
> As always, it is the psychological impact of what you are doing that makes the sex so satisfying. Let your mind escape into the uncharted wilderness of fantasy. As a sexual pioneer, it is your manifest destiny to explore the outer limits of your sensuality.
>
> Ohh wait this was about **LAWN** jobs
> [@Sweet Car on eBay!](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/sweet-car-on-ebay/14779/2):
>
> so im drivin along… and this white SS pulls up next to me, im goin like 80 and he takes off, it musta been SSSMOKIN, so he blows it sideways and shes really fucking rippin i tell ya… i hit the GP like 3/4 throttle and just pass that mo fo in like 3 seconds… slow down and he gives me the finger so i was like thats right BITCH and got off the ramp… smokin was this you??? I wouldnt know so i continued driving with my partner.
>
> We had planned on going out to the mall later, and when we went to leave, I was a bit shocked on what she was wearing. She wore a sexy, thin sundress and I could tell she had no bra on, and she wore sexy high-heel wedges. Just for fun, she lifted up her dress and showed me her naked pussy! She wasn’t wearing anything under the dress at all!
>
> As we started driving, she hiked up her dress, reclined her seat and played with her pussy. “Drive around a little bit,” she said. “I’m not ready to shop yet.”
>
> She started rubbing on her clit with her right hand and fingered her cunt with her left hand. As she worked her fingers in and out of her trimmed snatch, I could see they were wet with her pussy juice. I reached over as I drove and pulled down the top of her dress, exposing her left breast. I pinched on her nipple which made her growl with lust.
>
> After about 10 minutes, she came really hard working on her clit. My cock was absolutely rock hard by then.
>
> “Was that as good as it looked” I asked her when she calmed down a bit.
>
> “Yeah,” she replied, “but I want more!”
>
> At a stoplight I unzipped my shorts and pulled out my cock. She reached over and started stroking me. Then she leaned over into my lap and took my cock into her mouth, and started working it really good. She stopped a few minutes later and said, “you’re not finishing yet!”
>
> I groaned in frustration as my aching cock bobbed in the air, searching in futility for her hot mouth.
>
> “I think the truck needs washing,” she said, out of the blue. “Go to the car wash place and give it a good hosing.” There was a local car wash, one of those wash-it-yourself places with the individual bays you pull into and wash your vehicle with a high-pressure hose.
>
> “Excuse me” I asked. “Where did that come from”
>
> “I dunno, I just think it’s looking dirty.”
>
> “Well,” I replied, thinking there weren’t many less sexy things to do at this point than wash the truck, “OK, if that’s what you want to do!” I felt a little let down that that’s what she came up with.
>
> I pulled into the car wash place and found the last empty bay. I pulled out a few bills and climbed out of the Expedition to get quarters from the change machine around the front. When I got back, Debi wasn’t in the passenger seat anymore. As I got closer, I could see she had moved to the rear bench seat. She was all the way over on the driver’s side, and had her dress pulled up and her legs spread and was working on her pussy again.
>
> I opened the passenger side door and watched for a few moments. “Fuck, looks good enough to eat! Mind if I join you in there” I asked.
>
> “Yep, I do mind, you have to wash the truck!”
>
> At this point, I was getting a little frustrated with getting cock-blocked by her! But, I did as I was told and popped in some quarters and started washing the truck. Probably 5 minutes passed and I had soaped and rinsed. Debi was still playing with her pussy and it had been very difficult to do the task at hand. I would stop every so often to peek in a watch her. She had her dress top pulled down and was rubbing her tits while fingering herself.
>
> By the time I was doing a last rinse, a guy had pulled up to our bay waiting for me to finish so he could have his turn in the wash. He was a good-looking middle-aged guy and was driving a beautiful classic Camaro. I could see Debi inside the truck checking the guy out.
>
> When I was over on the driver’s side of the truck, she knocked on the window to get my attention. I stopped the pressure hose and she lowered the rear window.
>
> “Were you really serious those times you told me you wanted to show me off, to have a stranger watch me Or were you just saying that because I usually had your hard cock in my mouth”
>
> I laughed, then stopped short when I realized what she was saying. She totally caught me off guard!
>
> “Well,” I stammered, “yeah, I was serious. I never thought you’d want to do it!”
>
> “So, it’s just a fantasy for you Or do you really want to do it”
>
> After a few moments of thinking, I realized my cock was growing hard in my shorts just thinking about it. “Fuck, yeah, I want to do it!”
>
> “OK then,” she replied. “Go get that guy’s attention and bring him over to the rear passenger side door and let him have a look.” Then she rolled her window back up.
>
> I’d never approached a total stranger to ask him to watch my wife before, so didn’t quite know what to say! I just decided to wing it.
>
> “Hey, that’s a beautiful car,” I called to him.
>
> “Thanks,” he said. “It’s all original. I was really lucky to stumble onto this. It rides like a dream.”
>
> I walked over to his car and looked inside. He opened the driver’s door to show off his beauty. (I’d return the favor in a minute!) It was immaculate inside, and I made a comment about the beautiful interior. He replied that that’s what he was especially proud of.
>
> I answered, “I’m pretty pleased with my interior, too. Wanna have a look”
>
> “Sure,” he said.
>
> He closed his door and we walked over to the passenger side and I opened the rear passenger door. My hand was shaking I was so excited. There was my gorgeous wife, leaning back all the way over against the opposite door, her legs spread wide, and her naked dripping pussy exposed for another man. She had her C-cup breasts pulled out of her sundress and was pinching her nipple while she slowly rubbed her clit.
>
> The guy’s jaw dropped open. “What the… fuck!” he finally said. “Shit, I’m a happily married man! I couldn’t touch her… as much as I want to, believe me!”
>
> “No touching,” Debi told him, “but there’s no harm in a little looking, is there”
>
> The guy looked around quickly, I didn’t know what he expected to see; maybe a hidden camera My wife motioned for him to climb up into the rear seat, which he did. “Fuck,” he said a couple of times as he ate her up with his eyes. I climbed into the front passenger seat and turned toward them to watch. I wasn’t going to miss a second of this!
>
> “I’m so fucking wet with you watching me,” Debi whispered hoarsely. “You like my pussy”
>
> “Fuck, yeah!” he stammered.
>
> “My name’s Debi. What’s yours”
>
> “Marty,” the guy answered. “Fuck.”
>
> “You like my tits, Marty”
>
> “You have beautiful tits, Debi.” I could see the effect it had on her when he said her name, a complete stranger talking dirty to her like that. Her eyes were absolutely glazed over with lust. Her right leg had been flexed and pulled close to her up on the rear bench seat, but then she stretched it out and laid her bare foot (she had taken her shoes off) in his lap.
>
> “You can touch my leg if you want to, Marty,” she told him. He reached down and gently caressed her ankle and worked his way up her shin and calf. She rubbed the sole of her foot against cock, which was quite obviously growing hard and very big in his shorts. She was staring at his cock and was pleased with the effect she was having on him.
>
> “I can feel your hard cock, Marty.”
>
> “I can smell your beautiful cunt, Debi,” he replied. She gasped loudly and bit her lower lip. He was doing a great job getting her going.
>
> “I want to see your big cock, Marty.”
>
> Instead of opening his fly which is what I expected, he reached inside his shorts through the loose leg opening and pulled his cock out that way. He pushed the material of his shorts back to fully expose his thick cock. I’m no cock expert but I guessed it was at least 8 inched. Whatever it was, it was bigger and thicker than mine!
>
> “Fuck!” Debi exclaimed. “Jesus, that’s nice, Marty.”
>
> “I’ve never had any complaints, Debi.” He began rubbing his cock with his right hand and continued to caress her leg with his left. The head of his cock was dripping precome. He rubbed his finger in it and then smeared it around and down his shaft.
>
> “Marty, I’m gonna come really hard. Rub your cock for me. Stroke that fucking cock for me, Marty!”
>
> As he started pumping faster, I watched Debi exploded in a huge orgasm. She flexed her body forward and loudly shrieked, “oh, fuck!” about 5 times. She came harder than I’d ever seen her come before. After about 30 seconds she leaned back against the door looking exhausted and incredibly satisfied.
>
> “That was fucking beautiful to watch,” Marty said. “Debi…” he paused. “Debi, can I feel your tits”
>
> She was shocked by his question, and she turned to me as if asking what she should do. I gestured my head over towards Marty, letting her know it was OK with me. She slid over towards him, about halfway across the seat, within arm’s reach of him. Marty reached out with his left hand and started caressing her breasts. Debi looked down and enjoyed watching him touch her. She obviously was enjoying the feeling as well, her nipples were popping out and she started rubbing her clit again.
>
> I needed to be a part of this too so I moved myself in between the two front bucket seats. I was incredibly hard. I had been rubbing my cock through my shorts while watching, but with that I opened my fly and started stroking madly.
>
> Marty was now directly rubbing roughly on her nipples, moving from left to right and back again. She instinctively leaned forward so he could better manipulate her. He then began firmly pinching and twisting just the very tips of her hard nipples. Somehow, he must have known that that totally drives Debi crazy when I do it. In fact, she can come with doing just that and no other stimulation.
>
> “Oh, fuck!” she said. “Oh, fuck, Marty, that’s good.”
>
> “Debi,” Marty said after a minute, “I’m going to fucking come.”
>
> “I wanna see it, Marty, I’m gonna come too,” she answered.
>
> I don’t know why but i took Marty’s cock in my hand, I jerked hard on his shaft and it started spurting thick jets of come. The first went all the way to the back of the front seat, which was a good two feet in front of him. Several more spurts went nearly as far, firing down the length of his thigh, and landing on his thigh and the seat.
>
> That sent Debi over the edge and she started coming again, her upper body jerking violently. Marty, still coming himself, continued roughly pinching and pulling on her nipples; I was pretty impressed with his composure! Debi screamed, “fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!” And at that marti stuck his thumb in my ass, I started coming too, my jizz covering Debi’s face and tits.
>
> Afterwards, we were three exhausted and very pleased people! Debi was panting trying to catch her breath. In between breaths, she gasped, “fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
>
> Marty said, “I come here to wash my Camaro every week around this time. I gotta tell you, I wouldn’t mind meeting up again if circumstances would allow it.”
>
> As I wiped up my come with a box of tissues from the glovebox, I replied, “I think this was a one-time thing, Marty, as great as it was.”
>
> Debi had a mischievous look and said, “every week, huh”
> [@$110 hold em tourney catered + free beer/pop](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/110-hold-em-tourney-catered-free-beer-pop/23439/21):
>
> I had just come home from work and had let Bosco, my german shepard
> out to the back yard to relieve himself. I remember feeling sorry for
> myself as I sat on the sofa moping. My boyfriend and I had broken up
> last month and it seemed that this time we would not be getting back
> together again. I came home one day and he was gone. He left a note
> apologizing for falling in lust with another woman and that I could keep
> the dog. I started thinking about all the love making we did. He was
> excellent at eating pussy. And could he fuck. Many times all night and
> in every hole in my body. I took off my panties and began to feel up my
> pussy. I stuck 1, 2 and then 3 fingers as deep as they would go up my
> snatch and with my other hand I savagely went at my clit. I was in a
> deep trance and could almost feel my “X” eating my pussy. I lifted my
> legs up into the air and spread them wide apart so he could also get to
> my ass. I could feel myself orgasm as I reached for his head and
> thrusted it up and down.
>
> I suddenly came out of my trance and realized that everything felt
> too real. Who was between my legs eating my pussy? Who just made me have
> an orgasm? And who’s head was I holding between my legs? I opened my
> eyes and could not believe what I saw. There was Bosco, my german
> shepard, between my legs going at my pussy with all of his might. He had
> come in and just helped himself to a little pussy. Well I let out a yell
> and closed my legs fast as he took off for the bedroom. I felt disgusted
> at what just happened and went right into the shower where I stayed for
> nearly an hour cleaning myself off of his germs. I even douche my pussy.
> I could not believe I had sex with my dog. I know some women get into
> that sort of thing, but I never thought I would ever stoop down that low
> and allow this sort of thing to happen to me. But it felt so good and so
> real. Like a real man.
>
> I began to feel real strange. I began thinking about Bosco and what
> he did to give me pleasure. The thought of me getting into beastiality
> was turning me on. Before I knew it, I had a hand between my legs
> rubbing myself and thinking about Bosco. I now new what I wanted to do.
> I was going to do it with my dog. The one that just disgusted me was now
> making me horny.
>
> I came out of the bathroom, still naked and walked into the bedroom
> where I was met by Bosco. He was wagging his tail as if nothing had
> happened. I kneeled down next to him and said what a naughty thing he
> did to me. He just wagged his tail and began licking my face. Soon he
> moved down and began licking my breast. You don’t waste any time, I said
> to him. My nipples were getting hard as he brushed them with his tongue.
> My tits were soaked with his saliva. Well, are you going to eat my pussy
> out again or are you just going to lick my tits for ever, I said to him.
> He just kept licking my tits and stomach. I was curious to see what size
> cock he had between his legs, so I laid down on my side towards his
> rear. At that moment he sniffed a little and found my now moist pussy
> waiting for him. He wasted no time as he began licking my pubic hairs
> and then my clit. I opened my legs to accommodate him. We were in sort
> of a 69 position but not directly under him, sort of on his left side. I
> could see his cock clearly now. It was bright red and had a pointed tip,
> a thick center and a knot at its base just in front of his 2 balls. Only
> half of his cock was sticking out of its cover. By my estimates it had
> to be 8 inches long overall. I was glad that he had a large cock.
> I put my hand around it and began stroking it. It was smooth and
> slippery. With that he began to thrust his rear forward and was fucking
> my hand. At the same time, his cock began to grow and became completely
> exposed. The whole thing just came out of its cover. It was huge. He was
> humping my hand faster now and I could hardly hold on to it. It soon
> slipped out of my hand and he lunged forward still thrusting his rear
> and wound up behind me. He then turned around, and mounted me. I could
> feel his cock rubbing up against the side of my thigh. I knew he wanted
> to plow that huge tool into my waiting pussy and I knew the time had
> come to let him in.
>
> I thought for a few seconds how we were going to do it and what
> position to take to get as much of that cock into me as possible. I
> decided to do it the way nature intended it to be done. They don’t call
> it doggie style for nothing. I called him off me and got up to assume
> the doggie position. I got on all fours and shoved my ass up to his
> face. He wasted no time. He licked my entire pussy and ass until they
> were soping wet. He then put one paw on my back and lifted himself up
> and over me. He was quite heavy and huge, covering me almost completely.
> I was having a hard time holding him and myself up. I didn’t think it
> would work. He then wrapped his paws tightly around my waist and began
> thrusting his rear forward. I was at the point of no return now. There
> was no way of stopping this animal. He was going to fuck me now and that
> was that.
>
> I could feel his cock poking around at my rear as he tried to find
> my love cave. His cock was a little low cause I felt it brushing against
> my pubic hairs and massage my clitoris. I then lowered my rear end a
> little. I felt his cock nudge at the entrance to my pussy and knew he
> was getting close. I then felt his cock start to enter me. I felt a
> small amount of pain on my vaginal walls as they stretched to
> accommodate his huge penetrating cock. I felt him go deeper and deeper
> inside me as he fucked me faster and harder. It was all I could do to
> hold on for the ride of my life. Soon I felt the tip of his cock nudge
> at my “G” spot. The feeling sent chills up and down my spine as I
> achieved one of many orgasms that night. He fucked me for what seemed
> like 10 minutes. He’d slow down for a while and then speed up again. He
> growled at me a few times for moving and making his cock slide out. It
> quickly found its way up in me again.
>
> I felt something growing inside me. It felt like a baseball was
> forming at the tip of his cock. I wondered if it was that knot in his
> cock I noticed earlier. Anyway this thing kept growing inside me. It
> felt great at first but kept growing and became uncomfortable. When the
> knot grew to its full size, Bosco stopped fucking me and began to
> dismount. Only problem was he couldn’t get his cock out of my pussy. The
> huge knot at the end of his cock was preventing him from pulling out of
> me. He did manage to swing his rear leg over me and dismount but we were
> still stuck, only he was facing the other way and his cock was bent back
> and inside me. I began to worry that we would stay in this position for
> ever but remembered that dogs always got stuck for a while then separate
> after the male finishes shooting his load, so it must also be true that
> when a dog fucks a woman, they too will get stuck. Anyway I felt
> something hot coming from his cock and figured it was him starting to
> ejaculate. It soon began seeping out between his cock and my vaginal
> walls and running down my legs. It was a gush.
> I made the best of it and for the next half hour I massaged my clit
> till I came several times. I also played with his balls a bit. This made
> him pant faster and get more excited. I soon felt the knot start to
> deflate fast and in an instant his now limp cock slid out of me. He
> licked his cock clean and went off to sleep for the night.
> The next morning Bosco was standing over me on the bed. His cock
> larger than ever. I guess he was waiting for me to suck it or something.
> He wouldn’t leave me alone till I satisfied his sexual needs. I reached
> under and began stroking it gently at first then faster till it grew to
> full length. I got under him and drew his cock to my mouth and took it
> in. I proceeded to give him a blow job and drew his entire cock almost
> down my throat. He soon ejaculated in my mouth and I swallowed every bit
> of it.
>
> Well I’m sure glad my “X” boyfriend gave me Bosco. He helped me
> forget about him really fast
> [@Fatality at Cayuga today frowning](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fatality-at-cayuga-today/18298/37):
>
> ok so 3 nights ago I was bored and waiting for this chick i know, she arrived as promised, 7 pm sharp. We had agreed to meet at the Prime in albany to spice up things a little. She payed cause I told her i wasnt pissing away the money to fuck her in a nce hotel room. For the fist time she wore a skirt and was this a sight. Her legs were so sexy.
>
> I asked her again if she would like to try some ecstacy, but Angie refused firmly. It was 7:15pm when I swallowed the bitter pill with some water. Angie was so curious, she was observing my face closely, didn’t talk much. We had some appropriate music on, visual effects on my large TV screen. I was watching the clock on the wall closely, trying to predict when it would take effect. It was my third time I took an E, so I was surprised with the speed and strength it hit me.
>
> Suddenly I had the urge to do something. I got up and told Angie I need to take a shower. I stripped in my bedroom and shamelessly walked out in her full view. She seemed suprised by the sie of my cock. I left the bathroom door open. I could see her observing me as I stepped inside a shower feeling kind of odd will all of its glass walls but caring less and less as the drug took affect. The hot water brought the first wave. It felt wonderful on my skin. I massaged my body with my soapy hands, squeezing my genitals, pinching my nipples.
>
> I inserted a soapy, slippery finger in my asshole and kept on pumping it. After a while I reached for an enema bottle from the floor of the cubicle and five minutes later, with empty bowel I stepped out, dried myself. I could see her reflection in the mirror. She would not move. I did not know what to think, and by then I did not care. I just stood there looking at our reflections in the mirror, massaging my body, moving in the rhythm of loud music pounding from the stereo. My body was glistening with baby oil. My semi erected cock was fully visible to Angie as I turned around and put a t shirt on.
>
> I walked into the living room, god she was absolutely stunned. The thin satin spaghetti strap skirt/dress thing she was wearing showed off her perky tits. Her nipple pointing up at an almost unnatural angle. I turned the lights off and the only illumination was the plasma TV with some laser visual effect synchronized with the rhythm of music.
>
> I asked Angie if she would like to dance. She said no, and as I was expecting her to walk out the door she walked towards the kitchen counter, took one of the pills and swallowed it looking into my eyes.
> I was so high then. I told her about the effects E has on me before, and she used it now asking me all questions I would have not answered under normal circumstances.
>
> She asked me to put my favorite porn movie on. Once I did this she removed the little She was spread on the floor, watching the porn flick and massaging her now oily body. From time to time I would insert a vibrator in her ass sending her to ecstasy, arching her back.
>
> After a while I could see that Angie’s pupils were as large as dinner plates. I simply took her hand, guided her towards the bathroom. She just stood there facing the mirror, as I clumsily rubbed her full clit and directed her towards the glass shower box. Once I adjusted the water I began soaping up her beautiful body. She just stood there, did not move, no reaction. Using Johnson’s Baby Oil I lubricated her anus with my finger and pushed inside. She was so tight. It was the first time she let out a sound and her bottom pressed against my hand.
>
> I filled the enema bottle with warm water, inserted the tube in her sweet ass cleaned her insides. Every time i removed the hose she would squirm and let out a moan. I must have taken my time, as the system has run out of hot water. I dried our bodies with a towel, poured some baby oil on her, massaged it in and took her towards the blaring speakers.
>
> I asked her again if she would like to dance. This time she said yes.
> We stepped closer, hugged and started swaying in the rhythm of the music. As soon as we looked in each others eyes our lips met for the first time. It was absolutely wonderful. our tongues were exploring our bodies. I was licking her whole body, she was on her knees sucking my limp cock. I was on kneeling behind her licking her anus. There was no end to the perversion until Angie asked me if she could have a smoke. She lit up a cigarette went down on her knees again and started sucking my penis. At the same time she separated my ass chicks and inserted the cigarette in my ass. She then took it out and continued smoking. It gave me an idea. I took a huge cigar, lit it and gave it to her. We continued to insert it into our orifices, smoking, kissing, laughing.
>
> About two hour later we swallowed the second pill…she said she wanted to have something to eat because she was famished as she opened the doors to the balcony. I went over to the small kitchen our suite had and pulled out what I knew would do the trick from the bag i had brought with me. She had put her dress back on and the purple in the moon light clinging to her body was almost too much. I walk out on the balcony and hand her a bowl. She looks at me and crunches into a spoon and says “wow what is this candy for breakfast?” I’m like “no Reese’s puff cereal” and thats when it happened I went to lean on the railing next to her and she slipped and fell 20 stories.
>
> Luckily it was late enough that i took the elevator down a could wrap the body in a sheet and stuff it in my trunk before anyone saw. I took this picture for my blog, i thought it looked cool. I also took time to fuck the body in the parking garage because the second E pill had really kicked in hardcore. Once I pulled out i knew i was fucked. So I am making this post with a 3 day old dead slut in my trunk. I lost my wallet somehow that night so im out of money and i wanted to know itf anyone would lend me a few thing:
>
> Things I need:
> Electirc Turkey cutter Knife thing
> Garbage bags
> Lime
> Sponges
> Bleach
> Rope
>
> Please reply with thing that i can either borrow or that you are willing to donate.
>
> \*\*I also am looking for a place to dispose of some garbage bag full of compost. Totally not related to this situation
---
### Author:  [@Yo\_Rita](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Yo_Rita)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 12:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/3 "2009-11-17T12:20:42Z")
egomaniac? j/k
---
### Author:  [@SRS\_BZNS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SRS_BZNS)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 12:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/4 "2009-11-17T12:23:45Z")
not really i just use these stories elsewhere as well as always have people on here referencing them so it would be nice to get to them.
Big thanks to n!cole for helping me find some of them
---
### Author:  [@ninety1two40](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ninety1two40)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 12:24pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/5 "2009-11-17T12:24:32Z")
Thanks for the generous amount of wisdom Ronald. You have truly blessed this forum.
---
### Author:  [@SRS\_BZNS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SRS_BZNS)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 12:26pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/6 "2009-11-17T12:26:37Z")
I only hope to improve one persons life with my stories from far and wide
> [@Anyone had experience with Mike O ford?](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/anyone-had-experience-with-mike-o-ford/25875/18):
>
> My husband, who’s sort of a masturbation junkie, thinks this is a great story and said I should post it. He is the only person who knows about this and says it still turns him on. I am sort of embarrassed by it, but I need to get this burden off of my chest.
>
> I never masturbated till I was in college. One afternoon, thinking I was alone for a couple of hours, I got naked and slipped into bed in the dorm to do this new thing that I found so great. No one could touch me like I could. My fingers could wander in and out of the moist valley between my legs, rustling my lips in just that certain way nobody knew how to. I could make it a roller-coaster ride of pleasure and teasing agony. Tip toeing from my bulging clit to my soon dripping wet lips and hole. I was touching myself for fifteen or twenty minutes, and by now I was writhing and contorting with pleasure, my toes curling and back arching. It was all I could do at times not to scream out in shear ecstasy, when my roommate came in. She asked what I was doing in bed, and when she saw my clothes on a chair nearby, she asked if I was masturbating. I said no, but she knew better and pulled back the blanket.
>
> She took off her clothes, at that moment I don’t know if it was my heightened state or arousal but her body in was the most perfect thing I had ever seen as the afternoon light glowed off her perky erect b sized tits and wrapped down along her taught stomach and the nice v shape her hips and pelvis made as they plunged into her tight upswept vaginal slit. She got into bed next to me, and said we should do it together. We did. She ran her tongue over my breasts while I touched myself, it was amazing nothing a man would do or understand. She was always gentle never sucking like a child but tender and teasing, running her tongue around my nipple pausing long enough for her cooler breathe to tease and cool the saliva on my nipple. It was amazing, and then she asked me to touch her. I ran my fingers along the center of her chest and down the fit athletic center line of her smooth toned stomach. I paused at her belly button and made one quick loop around. With the flat palm of my hand I rubbed her hip bones and ran my fingers along the v shape of her lower torso, then tickling her thighs feeling her quiver with anticipation under my fingertips. We both had orgasms, over and over, and then she pulled the blanket up and rested together. Our naked toned bodies entwined, I felt no feeling of love towards her but at that moment I have never closer to another human being in my life. She understood all of my sexual desires; she had been inside of me and knew what I wanted more than I did myself.
>
> As we were putting on our clothes, she mentioned that a friend of hers down the hall liked to do it, too, so we could make it a threesome. For the next few months, once or twice a week, the three of us would meet in our room, get naked and masturbate. It was fun for awhile, even after we started masturbating each other. The third girl seemed to be a little more aggressive at times. The way she used her fingers to fuck me rather than explore me like my roommate was invigorating at times but seemed to remind me of my boyfriend. Cumbersome and clumsy, trying to make me come instead of enjoy the fun and excitement of the moment we were having together. Soon they suggested we do oral on each other, which I tried but did not like. I had never been the kind of person who enjoyed someone’s mouth on my vagina. My roommate seemed to be driven over the edge by it at times. I realized her and her friend had been doing this for a lot longer than I had. I stopped and watched them once. Watched as one slowly kissed up the others flinching tensing thighs. With every nibble I could see the excitement and indulgence building in my roommates face. Her back came off the sheets heaving those perfect little Hershey kiss shaped white breast forward, accentuating their shape making them seem almost fake. Something drawn out of some mans wildest fantasy but here and now for us to enjoy. As she got to her vagina she slowed and kissed the tight outer skin that hid my roommates engorged lips from our view. Her vagina was so clean literally a small pink slit from the outside. By now you could seem the moistening excitement pulsing its way forth as her friend slowly ran her flat tongue along the entire slit. Lingering only around the little pink lump that was her clit, from bottom to top she slowly licked each time spending more and more time exploring her hole and circling her now swollen clit with her tongue. This continued for 10 or 12 minutes until my roommate back arched, fingers stressed white from clutching the sheets finally squealed gasped and collapsed to the bed legs still twitching from the strong of the orgasm. Next, they brought toys. I did not like that either, using toys on each other. The toys seemed so impersonal. They took the bond I felt out of it even more.
>
> Near semester break, I told my roommate that I liked it when we just got together, touched each other gently and made ourselves cum, but it was getting more than I wanted. She said she understood and admitted what I thought was the case: that she and the other girl wanted a full time relationship. We switched roommates for the next semester, and I have only masturbated by myself or with men since.
>
> This one i actually wrote completely myself guys:thumbup
---
### Author:  [@bennyfizzle](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/bennyfizzle)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/7 "2009-11-17T16:29:09Z")
good work
---
### Author:  [@Jammer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jammer)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/8 "2009-11-17T22:05:14Z")
ding ding we have a reminder of some winners
---
### Author:  [@votblindub](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/votblindub)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/9 "2009-11-18T05:28:28Z")
Ron, when’s your book coming out? We need to publish this man.
---
### Author:  [@SRS\_BZNS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SRS_BZNS)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 6:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/10 "2009-11-18T06:18:28Z")
> [@Got new exhaust for my bike Yo](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/got-new-exhaust-for-my-bike-yo/25966/6):
>
> good work
Beenny you have just as many good ones as I do.
---
### Author:  [@GATVILLE](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GATVILLE)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 6:26am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/11 "2009-11-18T06:26:14Z")
great stuff, forwarding the hand job technique to a few girls i know
---
### Author:  [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 7:18am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/12 "2009-11-18T07:18:17Z")
Can we make a thread of all the posts with medieval talk? Those crack me up.
---
### Author:  [@car\_ramrod](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/car_ramrod)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 9:40am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/13 "2009-11-18T09:40:39Z")
what das thou speaketh of?
---
### Author:  [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 9:51am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/14 "2009-11-18T09:51:35Z")
> [@WTBCheap: Dodge neon 2.0](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/wtbcheap-dodge-neon-2-0/25979/11):
>
> what das thou speaketh of?
I’m talking about this:
> [@WTB: APEXi Stand](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/wtb-apexi-stand/22990/2):
>
> Why you son of a bitch. Who the hell do you think you are, Ronald? You dont want to make my list of scoundrels with such company as one Benjamin T Fizzle. I expect you to remove this expeditiously and make reparations for the damage my reputation has suffered.
> [@buffalo police exam](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/buffalo-police-exam/22961/65):
>
> I will do nothing of the sort kind sir. It is a custom in my land for lords to meet every Fortnight and injest mead and beast and speak of the lives of the peasantry. Yet thou dost travel far and wide with thy bravarian peasant wagon chasing other peasants. Thy fellow lords grow weary of your absence from ye olde tavern. Is thy a peasnt or a rich silver tongued lord? Does thy not like a fine maidens bossom? Does thy prefer the coarse strands or another gentlemans chest?
> [@Wtb:OBD1 B series vtec ecu](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/wtb-obd1-b-series-vtec-ecu/22993/6):
>
> Ronald, your persistence in this matter is vexes me terribly. I know not why you draw upon assumptions of homosexuality to explain my absence from the taverns of yore that we once reigned supreme; over the hoards of harlots clutching to their youth. These tales of years past suffice to explain my dedication to objectification of wenches and not these course strands on another gentleman’s chest.
>
> Your unwillingness to comply with my terms forces my hand. Henceforth, a single outburst in this manner will cause me to deploy the elite soldiers of my lands to rain fire upon your fiefdom. These warriors at my command are not the lawless vagabonds that make up your ranks. They come with trebuchets and several batallions of archers. Surely you have heard the stories of my officers leading my armies into battle against Benjamin T Fizzle, the Archduke of Sitterly.
>
> King JClark IV of Richmondshire
> [@Buffalo = seen it? Rochester = shit?](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/buffalo-seen-it-rochester-shit/22988/33):
>
> My dearest king I know of your treachery in using petty weasels and ferrets against my fellow man Benjamin. It was indeed I that sent him to spy upon your mear trebuchets and well trained knights. What you my dear sir do not understand that i dost not have any form of concern for the mongrels that inhabit my great fiefdom. I infact have taken and dispatched with most of them. This dismissal of enjoyment of breathe by my peasants may make my arms seem like lawless vagabonds but indeed i assure you they are a force to be reconned with. For my staggering vagabonds are indeed zombie warriors who ride zombie bears. We have also fashioned a rudimentary projectile weapon that shoots great burning balls of fire from ones hand. Air firey spheres shall pierce your armor from far off distances and my great furry beasts shall feast upon the innards of your peasants and we will burn all your grass shanties to the ground.
>
> ONWARD ZOMBIE BEAR CAVALRY!!! ONWARD TO VICTORY
> [@SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT : Jam is the shit.](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/special-announcement-jam-is-the-shit/23018/4):
>
> Ronathan Thomas Esquire LaDue JR III actually
And this:
> [@u have just been owned by your buddy](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/u-have-just-been-owned-by-your-buddy/17240/2):
>
> Benjamin -
>
> I’m disappointed at how you’ve decided to handle this situation. You haven’t replied to several PMs where I tried to rectify the problem. Instead you chose to fabricate this lie, this story, to attempt to degrade my personal reputation to the members of this fine forum.
>
> Folks - Please do not believe this lie. I stopped by Benjamin’s house to purchase select goods from him from a certain purple scrap pile. I courteously introduced myself to Benjamin’s neighbors while he was several hours late for our meeting. By now it was dark and Ben had brought several short, white, Italian males with him wearing torn jeans and black leather jackets. Nervously, I left the money with Benjamin. Immediately, the short, white, Italian males began to bludgen me with baseball bats and other blunt, club-like objects. I made a desperate dash for my truck but quickly nabbed the “trunk vent” off the parts car. I ran screaming while being chased by the guido hoard, lept through my truck’s window, slammed it into 4wd Low and ripped across Benjamin’s lawn to escape.
>
> I chose to let my ordeal pass and call it even seeing as this has been the easiest transaction I have had thus far with Benjamin.
>
> But I must warn you, if this continues, I will not purchase further items from you.
>
> I hope we can resolve this with words. If not, please bring it on as I can lob open paint cans from my house to yours with the new trebuchet in my back yard. Welcome to Clifton Park, fuckface.
>
> Cordially,
> Jesse
> [@Turbo\>Displacement](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/turbo-displacement/17245/3):
>
> What a snarled web of lies.
>
> I chose to air this dirtiest of laundry in this way in order to warn the public of your questionable business practices. I have replied to your private messages with sincerity, and to no avail, still having not received the agreed upon sum.
>
> The “White, Italian thugs” you are referring to were merely my landlords ferrets. They do not have opposable thumbs, and therefore are incapable of carrying bats or any other “club-like” objects. Also, I assure you their jackets were of a polyester blend, not leather.
>
> I was also unaware of the damage your battle cruiser did to my Fief, I will evaluate the damage when I get home, take pictures, and inform my landlord.
>
> The ferrets will not be pleased.
>
> I have also warned my Lord of your possession of aforementioned Trebuchet, attacks on his land will not be tolerated.
> [@So i want a system - audio buffs](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/so-i-want-a-system-audio-buffs/17249/17):
>
> Benjamin - I warn you not to continue your smear campaign against my reputation, my honor, and my legacy on this earth. Your unprofessional behavior through this has been appalling and your ghastly retelling of our recent encounter is pure fallacy. The jackets were most certainly constructed of a dyed natural cowhide - NOT the “pleather” you refer to.
>
> Be assured and forewarned that my trebuchet is not a subject of laughter or childish hyperbole. It is over 8 fathoms high, constructed of thick, creeky timber, and is quintessential ‘Lord of the Rings’ up in this bitch. According to Google Maps, your new place of residence is a mere 5 miles from my fortress as the crow flies. I could walk it in nary a fortnight. BE ASSURED, once again, Benjamin, that I chunks of castle wall, rotting fruit, my neighbors obnoxious dog, and other unsavory items can easily rain down upon you with a mere snap of fingers.
>
> I trust that you will now be a gentleman about the situation and dissuade your short, white, Italian males and their ferrets against further exacerbation of the present situation. I have tried to resolve this peacefully and privately but I will defend myself as necessary if I am further provoked. Beest thou a homo no longer.
>
> With best intentions,
> Jesse Q Clark, III. Esq.
> [@DAS Germans...](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/das-germans/17431/18):
>
> After a 72hr journey the ferrets tunneled into Mr. Clark’s bathroom. Once at their destination they collected various hair products and a shocking variety of personal lubricants to the sum of 80usd. The debt is settled. I say good day sir.
---
### Author:  [@ReDevil](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ReDevil)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 9:52am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/15 "2009-11-18T09:52:30Z")
Ah, thy olde english, eh wench?
---
### Author:  [@n\_cole](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/n_cole)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2009, 9:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/srs-bzns-words-of-wisdom/248432/16 "2009-11-18T09:54:51Z")
Gets me every time.