# THE OFFICIAL Darwin Thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [May 8, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988 "2007-05-08T17:59:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![2TurboZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/2turboz/32/7577_2.png) [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/1 "2007-05-08T17:59:39Z")
> **[Funny Videos, Funny Clips & Funny Pictures | Break.com](http://www.break.com/)** > > Watch funny videos and video clips at Break.com. Our editors find the best funny videos, clips and pictures for you to watch right now. Post up your favorite Darwin articles, pics, and vids!!! :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: ---
**Author:** ![ILCisDEAD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a87d85/32.png) [@ILCisDEAD](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ILCisDEAD)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/2 "2007-05-08T18:05:13Z")
> **[Darwin Awards](https://www.humormatters.com/darwin.htm)** > > Therapeutic Humor from Mirthologist and Clinical Psychologist Steven M. Sultanoff > NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. ---
**Author:** ![wickedcivy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/wickedcivy/32/7295_2.png) [@wickedcivy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/wickedcivy)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/3 "2007-05-08T18:19:16Z")
^^^ hahaha thats a good one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/4 "2007-05-08T18:55:40Z")
See sig ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/5 "2007-05-08T18:59:48Z")
[quote=“The\_Russian,post:4,topic:28988"”] See sig [/quote] I second the nomination for John McCain. :tup: ---
**Author:** ![RuBiCaNT](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/rubicant/32/7622_2.png) [@RuBiCaNT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RuBiCaNT)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/6 "2007-05-08T19:14:51Z")
[quote=“BikerFry,post:5,topic:28988"”] I second the nomination for John McCain. :tup: [/quote] John loves the reverend Jerry Falwell. I do not love him anymore. ---
**Author:** ![JDMAllstars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/76d3ee/32.png) [@JDMAllstars](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JDMAllstars)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/7 "2007-05-08T19:18:07Z")
NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear. WINNAR! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/8 "2007-05-08T20:33:11Z")
The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington USA appeared to be the robber’s first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices: 1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, A gun shop specializing in handguns. 2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers. 3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door. 4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire. Here we are at the beginning of March and we already may have the 2005 winner of the Darwin Award. This guy is going to be hard to beat. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/9 "2007-05-08T20:34:16Z")
[http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20031208.html](http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20031208.html) ---
**Author:** ![Tunerfreak](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/tunerfreak/32/7427_2.png) [@Tunerfreak](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Tunerfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/10 "2007-05-08T20:36:32Z")
[quote=“The\_Russian,post:8,topic:28988"”] The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington USA appeared to be the robber’s first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices: 1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, A gun shop specializing in handguns. 2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers. 3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door. 4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire. Here we are at the beginning of March and we already may have the 2005 winner of the Darwin Award. This guy is going to be hard to beat. [/quote] lol that is funny, what an idiot so what constitutes a darwin award does the person always have to die?? ---
**Author:** ![Bacon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/bacon/32/7230_2.png) [@Bacon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Bacon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/11 "2007-05-08T21:54:32Z")
NOMINEE #4: (9 April 2003, New Zealand) Phil needed to make repairs to the underside of his car. But when he jacked it up, there wasn’t enough room for him to work. So he removed the car’s battery, placed the jack on top of it, and set to work again, this time with plenty of elbow-room. Unfortunately for Phil, car batteries are not designed to carry much weight. The battery collapsed and the jack toppled, trapping him beneath the car. Unable to breathe due to the weight on his chest, he quickly expired in a pool of battery acid. ---
**Author:** ![2TurboZ](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/2turboz/32/7577_2.png) [@2TurboZ](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/2TurboZ)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/12 "2007-05-08T22:20:00Z")
[quote=“Tunerfreak,post:10,topic:28988"”] lol that is funny, what an idiot so what constitutes a darwin award does the person always have to die?? [/quote] No not dead…dead helps ensure their legend in the Darwin hall of fame but serious injury resulting is always a strong candidate. ---
**Author:** ![articzap](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/articzap/32/7361_2.png) [@articzap](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/articzap)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/13 "2007-05-08T23:44:53Z")
I’d say there a better Darwin victim if they have to suffer after there own stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Jam](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jam/32/7235_2.png) [@Jam](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jam)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 12:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/14 "2007-05-09T00:14:21Z")
---
**Author:** ![articzap](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/articzap/32/7361_2.png) [@articzap](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/articzap)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/15 "2007-05-09T00:44:20Z")
---
**Author:** ![badazzss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@badazzss](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/badazzss)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/16 "2007-05-09T05:24:20Z")
this kid who was playing with the spray paint/fire got burned… haha. theres just something too funny about seeing people on fire. i would pay anything to see a vid of that guy trying to rob the weapons store. can you imagine the look on his face when everyone started drawing their weapons… he had to have some major shit stains in his pants. plus everyone in the store was prolly high fiving afterwards… free target practice. lol at the guys screaming in pain after the wrestling move from the roof thru the table… no one calls an ambulance, just let them yell in agony… ---
**Author:** ![JayS](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jays/32/15375_2.png) [@JayS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JayS)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/17 "2007-05-09T05:37:17Z")
[quote=“The\_Russian,post:8,topic:28988"”] The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington USA appeared to be the robber’s first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices: 1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, A gun shop specializing in handguns. 2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers. 3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door. 4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire. Here we are at the beginning of March and we already may have the 2005 winner of the Darwin Award. This guy is going to be hard to beat. [/quote] While **generally** true, it has been embellished like most stories on the interweb > **[Gun Shop Robber](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/dead-stupid/)** > > Thief who tries to rob a gun shop is shot dead by those in the store. ---
**Author:** ![Jam](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jam/32/7235_2.png) [@Jam](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jam)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 9:33am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/18 "2007-05-09T09:33:08Z")
---
**Author:** ![Jam](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jam/32/7235_2.png) [@Jam](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jam)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 9:56am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/19 "2007-05-09T09:56:45Z")
want to see the worst video ever? best part 7:10 in when the kid randomly sings kanye west/keeps calling shit ganster ---
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 10:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988/20 "2007-05-09T10:01:47Z")
that fucking sucked [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-official-darwin-thread/28988.md?page=2)