# This is the first time I nearly shit myself.

**URL:** <https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625>\
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\
**Created:** [August 7, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625 "2006-08-07T13:25:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/1 "2006-08-07T13:25:21Z")

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So. I was driving down North French. Approaching the boulevard. I see a car wanting to pull out of the mobile and since my light is red I let him go. So does the car next to me. I didn’t bother to pull up–I was going to get to that when the light turns green.

This guy pulls up behind me and beeps. I pull forward to placate him. He beeps again. I give him the finger. The light turns green. I turn right. He turns right (no blinker). I go in the left lane, he pulls up angrily into the right. Rolls down his window. I roll down mine. I’m no fucking pansy…

“Why did you give me the finger?”  
“Because you beeped twice when there was no reason to”  
“… well if you don’t sound gayer than gay. You like it up the ass?”  
“Oh, well, you’re driving a big black TRUCK maybe you have a small PENIS!” so that shuts him up. It was probably the truth. So we’re even. I’m a fag and he has a small penis. I’d rather have a functional penis and be gay than be a man with a diesel GM truck–the Dodge Cummins is a-lot-fucking-better. At least he can help that he bought a rickety POS whereas I really can’t help how I talk.

So I go to turn left onto Erie. I get an arrow, I wave him one last good bye finger for being a giant douche. He pulls out of the middle lane and turns, coming full steam at me. I was like oh shit. I pulled to the side (there’s not much room there) and he pulls alongside of me. I thought you fucking dumbass–I drive a car and you drive a truck. He yelled something like “Fags should die!” Terrific. I get on the brakes super hard like any gay fag would–you know, I do these types of things for fun. Almost locked those poor tires, but they are reasonably grippy. I don’t think he took into account that this fag \<3’s grippy tires. He notices (he’s too high to notice all that quickly) that I am no along side him anymore. I look behind and the car is pretty far back and driving slowly, look down the other way and there is nobody. Make a very hard right onto a side street (it’s right by that Tim Hortons). Dorothy turns in like a champ, but understeers badly. That’s ok because the steering tells you that the front tires can handle a little more steering angle or a little more throttle, but not both. That’s what makes a Honda a Honda. 😛 I knew he could turn down a side street and easily find me, so I zig zagged like Lorraine told me to:

“SERPENTINE CARL!”

anyway

Went back around to see if anybody was following. It was more instinctual than necessay, but I didn’t want him following me home. Unfortunately in real life getting “home” doesn’t mean you’re safe.

Then I noticed he was gone. And I was shaking a bit. A little torn up. A lot mad at myself for giving him the finger in the first place. He may have been in a hurry, he may have had some things on his mind, he may have just not liked gay people. I failed–I could have not laughed at him or said he had a small penis. I could have just taken his words like a champ. I could have been better. Oh well. I’m not. I never claimed to be. I was just letting the person out of the drive way so maybe I could save them a few extra minutes and a bit of stress. Oh well.

He probably hates gay people more now. Mission unaccomplished.

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**Author:** ![Locutus](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/locutus/32/7574_2.png) [@Locutus](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Locutus)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/2 "2006-08-07T13:27:51Z")

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lol @ corey

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**Author:** ![Joe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/joe/32/7219_2.png) [@Joe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Joe)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/3 "2006-08-07T13:28:33Z")

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Great story.  
Compelling, and Rich.

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**Author:** ![Jam](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jam/32/7235_2.png) [@Jam](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jam)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/4 "2006-08-07T13:30:27Z")

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☹

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**Author:** ![\_Karu](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/_karu/32/7602_2.png) [@\_Karu](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/_Karu)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/5 "2006-08-07T13:31:29Z")

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wow…

wait. this happened after I left?

:tdown: for that trucker…

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**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/6 "2006-08-07T13:33:18Z")

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Yeah. I went to pick up my parking permit. :tdown:

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**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/7 "2006-08-07T13:35:10Z")

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What a dick. Who the hell is insecure enough to chase someone for giving them the finger?

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**Author:** ![zwarbyt](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/zwarbyt/32/7623_2.png) [@zwarbyt](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/zwarbyt)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/8 "2006-08-07T13:35:45Z")

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he was just trying to get your digitz dood

j/k

sucks though, i have a great similar road rage story… i posted it before

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**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/9 "2006-08-07T13:36:35Z")

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lol…Cory you shouldwrite a book. Seriously.

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**Author:** ![JaysGreenLX](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jaysgreenlx/32/7321_2.png) [@JaysGreenLX](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JaysGreenLX)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/10 "2006-08-07T13:58:29Z")

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I’m shocked you would brandish the middle finger.  
Strikes me as a very white trash thing to do.

Oh well. Good story.

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**Author:** ![Minglor](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/minglor/32/7373_2.png) [@Minglor](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Minglor)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 2:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/11 "2006-08-07T14:06:16Z")

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☹

I like diesel trucks…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/12 "2006-08-07T14:16:44Z")

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> [@Minglor](#):
>
> ☹
> 
> I like diesel trucks…

Me too

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Willybeen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/willybeen/32/7351_2.png) [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/13 "2006-08-07T14:28:38Z")

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people are assholes… glad u made it home safely… 🙂

i hope he got a flat on the way home

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**Author:** ![Jon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@Jon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jon)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/14 "2006-08-07T15:42:38Z")

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Thats why you need an airsoft uzi under your seat.

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**Author:** ![j\_espo1](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/j_espo1/32/7291_2.png) [@j\_espo1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/j_espo1)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/15 "2006-08-07T16:41:58Z")

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> [@Jon](#):
>
> Thats why you need an airsoft uzi under your seat.

a word to the wise- you point something like that at someone whos REALLY packing and your momma will be planting flowers at your grave site.

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**Author:** ![RedGoober4Life](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redgoober4life/32/7610_2.png) [@RedGoober4Life](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RedGoober4Life)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/16 "2006-08-07T16:55:06Z")

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Whoa.

I just didn’t want him to rape me with his small shriveled dick. Nobody said anything about if he had a gun.

He probably does. To compensate for his small penis.

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**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/17 "2006-08-07T16:56:37Z")

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Or youll have the lovely erie country swat team following you home.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Minglor](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/minglor/32/7373_2.png) [@Minglor](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Minglor)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/18 "2006-08-07T16:57:26Z")

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> [@RedGoober4Life](#):
>
> Whoa.
> 
> I just didn’t want him to rape me with his small shriveled dick. Nobody said anything about if he had a gun.
> 
> He probably does. To compensate for his small penis.

I am glad he didn’t kill you.  
otherwise who would make posts about chainsaws and then turn them into posts about cars.

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**Author:** ![dirtye30](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/dirtye30/32/7333_2.png) [@dirtye30](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/dirtye30)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/19 "2006-08-07T19:49:33Z")

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[http://www.nyspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16388](http://www.nyspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16388)

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**Author:** ![ly555is](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@ly555is](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ly555is)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-is-the-first-time-i-nearly-shit-myself/15625/20 "2006-08-07T21:02:32Z")

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it’s ok, he drives a durasuck and you’re sweet

:tup:

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