# This seems like a real pain in the dick. **URL:** \ **Category:** Shift518 Off Topic\ **Created:** [September 13, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431 "2011-09-13T13:55:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jdaniels](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jdaniels/32/6399_2.png) [@jdaniels](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jdaniels)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/1 "2011-09-13T13:55:21Z")
![http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/13/article-1315924412224-0DDD645500000578-803975_304x456.jpg](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/uploads/speedlife/original/3X/1/8/18bf1de1fba912caadaf9b1af239c3f3f28f06be.jpeg) > Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood. > > The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures. Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin. But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder. > ‘I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,’ the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said. > ‘I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.’ > > Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the **six-inch eel** which was dead by the time doctors found it. [http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/875317-eel-removed-from-mans-bladder-after-entering-penis-during-beauty-spa](http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/875317-eel-removed-from-mans-bladder-after-entering-penis-during-beauty-spa) ---
**Author:** ![ninety1two40](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ninety1two40/32/6332_2.png) [@ninety1two40](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ninety1two40)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:03pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/2 "2011-09-13T14:03:39Z")
FUCK THAT SHIT ---
**Author:** ![91teg](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/91teg/32/6304_2.png) [@91teg](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/91teg)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/3 "2011-09-13T14:08:05Z")
Why wouldnt you just pinch your dick and stop it from going further in ? ---
**Author:** ![Quattro](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/quattro/32/6660_2.png) [@Quattro](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Quattro)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/4 "2011-09-13T14:12:22Z")
Why would you get into a bath full of fucking eels is the real question… ---
**Author:** ![GermanPSI](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/germanpsi/32/6353_2.png) [@GermanPSI](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/GermanPSI)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/5 "2011-09-13T14:36:23Z")
If that was me, I woulda had 4inches of eel left to pull on ---
**Author:** ![McLen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/mclen/32/6354_2.png) [@McLen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/McLen)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/6 "2011-09-13T14:36:42Z")
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE ---
**Author:** ![jdaniels](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jdaniels/32/6399_2.png) [@jdaniels](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jdaniels)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/7 "2011-09-13T14:51:33Z")
> [@FS: ZEX kit. Lots of LS1, and 3800 parts,](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fs-zex-kit-lots-of-ls1-and-3800-parts/41071/12): > > If that was me, I woulda had 4inches of eel left to pull on Bro, this guy is Asian… if he didn’t have left over eel sticking out, I’m pretty sure no one would. ---
**Author:** ![capitalcrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@capitalcrew](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/capitalcrew)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/8 "2011-09-13T14:59:29Z")
> [@I just lost my largest customer to China.](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/i-just-lost-my-largest-customer-to-china/9153/98): > > FUCK THAT SHIT I thought exactly these words with that emphasis before I even bothered to scroll down. ---
**Author:** ![REDWGN](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/redwgn/32/6695_2.png) [@REDWGN](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/REDWGN)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/9 "2011-09-13T15:35:30Z")
“it disappeared up my penis” ![http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtHmHa-sQkHKzNT4rMEebgOd09dj-Q3qX-MK1WqlgxogJXf-baakWSVy3yUw](http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtHmHa-sQkHKzNT4rMEebgOd09dj-Q3qX-MK1WqlgxogJXf-baakWSVy3yUw) ---
**Author:** ![sbardy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@sbardy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sbardy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/10 "2011-09-13T15:43:34Z")
Moral of the story is… Eels love penis. Psi2high must be a eel. ---
**Author:** ![Eatonualive](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/eatonualive/32/6442_2.png) [@Eatonualive](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Eatonualive)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/11 "2011-09-13T15:48:40Z")
“i saw the eel enter my penis…but there was nothing i could do (sighhh) ohhh wellll. i didnt know animals could be gay. it looked like a guy eel i guess… ill just let him be, i dont have health insurance so there is nothing i can do…ill just hold my pee for a while and maybe he will want to come out. eels can never make up their minds.” / pjb ---
**Author:** ![HudsonFalcon](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/hudsonfalcon/32/6460_2.png) [@HudsonFalcon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/HudsonFalcon)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/12 "2011-09-13T16:13:58Z")
![http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS1KWNnmuceDHbb-lEGjAyOwJbR8-oG_T0LFEFiTj0yclOA-WWxPchH3qj_](http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS1KWNnmuceDHbb-lEGjAyOwJbR8-oG_T0LFEFiTj0yclOA-WWxPchH3qj_) ---
**Author:** ![cazwrx187](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/cazwrx187/32/6388_2.png) [@cazwrx187](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cazwrx187)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/13 "2011-09-13T21:39:03Z")
I ejaculated a grain of rice size kidney stone, or some kind of calcium deposit, while boning my girlfriend a few weeks ago. Most painful shit I’ve ever felt. The doctor said I’m fine though. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Jammer](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jammer/32/6349_2.png) [@Jammer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jammer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/14 "2011-09-13T21:52:15Z")
> [@Firearms Topic](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/firearms-topic/45341/23): > > Moral of the story is… > > Eels love penis. > > Psi2high must be a eel. Effin Word ---
**Author:** ![Yetti\_VR](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/yetti_vr/32/6357_2.png) [@Yetti\_VR](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Yetti_VR)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/15 "2011-09-13T22:24:23Z")
Wow that sounds like a great time ---
**Author:** ![sbardy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@sbardy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sbardy)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/16 "2011-09-14T06:37:27Z")
Wait… If that eels 6 inches, then I’m fucked. ---
**Author:** ![PFaux](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pfaux/32/6722_2.png) [@PFaux](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/PFaux)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 7:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/17 "2011-09-14T07:16:35Z")
he couldn’t just piss it out? what a pussy ---
**Author:** ![DUKE\_LADUKE](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/duke_laduke/32/6317_2.png) [@DUKE\_LADUKE](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/DUKE_LADUKE)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 9:05am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/18 "2011-09-14T09:05:09Z")
This is why you dont pee in rivers /ponds . Things will swim right up your dick hole . ---
**Author:** ![Eatonualive](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/eatonualive/32/6442_2.png) [@Eatonualive](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Eatonualive)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 12:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/19 "2011-09-14T12:58:13Z")
> [@The end of the world is coming is really here...](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/the-end-of-the-world-is-coming-is-really-here/45366/5): > > Wait… If that eels 6 inches, then I’m fucked. it would barely have to enter to get up into your bladder broski lol ---
**Author:** ![rexford\_flats\_racing](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/rexford_flats_racing/32/6295_2.png) [@rexford\_flats\_racing](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/rexford_flats_racing)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431/20 "2011-09-14T17:55:27Z")
> [@cazwrx187"](#): > > I ejaculated a grain of rice size kidney stone, or some kind of calcium deposit, while boning my girlfriend a few weeks ago. Most painful shit I’ve ever felt. The doctor said I’m fine though. Oh well. Why are your balls connected to your kidneys? [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/this-seems-like-a-real-pain-in-the-dick/260431.md?page=2)