# Trouble drinking? Stop in here
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884
**Category:** PittSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [January 17, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884 "2008-01-17T17:52:44Z")
**Posts on this page:** 10
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@imported\_Sleeper](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/imported_Sleeper)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/1 "2008-01-17T17:52:44Z")
BEER TROUBLESHOOTING CHART
SYMPTOM
FAULT
ACTION
Feet cold and wet.
Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
Feet warm and wet.
Improper bladder control.
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
Glass empty.
Get someone to buy you another beer.
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself leashed to bar.
Mouth contains cigarette butts.
You have fallen forward.
See above.
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
Floor blurred.
You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Get someone to buy you another beer.
Floor moving.
You are being carried out.
Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
Room seems unusually dark.
Bar has closed.
Confirm home address with bartender.
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Cover mouth.
Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
You are dancing on the table.
Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
Beer is crystal-clear.
It’s water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
Punch him.
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
You have been in a fight.
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in.
You’ve wandered into the wrong party.
See if they have free beer.
Your singing sounds distorted.
The beer is too weak.
Have more beer until your voice improves.
Don’t remember the words to the song. Beer is just right.
Play air guitar.
---
### Author:  [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/2 "2008-01-17T18:06:37Z")
kill yourself
---
### Author:  [@ShalerPunk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShalerPunk)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/3 "2008-01-17T18:13:07Z")
> [@Darkstar"](#):
>
> kill cutty, then yourself
fixed.
😉
---
### Author:  [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/4 "2008-01-17T18:15:47Z")
well played. both concise and abundantly optimistic. :bowdown:
---
### Author:  [@ShalerPunk](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ShalerPunk)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/5 "2008-01-17T18:17:47Z")
> [@FS: 1997 Grand Prix GT $1700 ~~!!](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/fs-1997-grand-prix-gt-1700/34418/3):
>
> well played. both concise and abundantly optimistic. :bowdown:
i try…
very little.
---
### Author:  [@Darkstar](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Darkstar)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/6 "2008-01-17T18:20:41Z")
little try need be brought in situations like these
---
### Author:  [@imported\_Sleeper](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/imported_Sleeper)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/7 "2008-01-17T19:17:48Z")
> [@Darkstar"](#):
>
> kill yourself
After i titty fuck your flubber that still dwells upon your speed pills/coke infested body:bj:
---
### Author:  [@77rednecktruck](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/77rednecktruck)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/8 "2008-01-17T19:18:30Z")
:1320:
---
### Author:  [@JackdUp](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JackdUp)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/9 "2008-01-17T19:23:07Z")
Funny, but… :repost:
[http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30210&pp=1](http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30210&pp=1)
[http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33520&pp=1](http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33520&pp=1)
---
### Author:  [@imported\_Sleeper](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/imported_Sleeper)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/trouble-drinking-stop-in-here/194884/10 "2008-01-17T19:25:13Z")
> [@8/26 - NYIRP Track Rental](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/8-26-nyirp-track-rental/33503/175):
>
> Funny, but… :repost:
>
> [http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30210&pp=1](http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30210&pp=1)
> [http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33520&pp=1](http://www.pittspeed.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33520&pp=1)
Ik new shaggy posted one but i didn’t think it was this one, o well fuck it, i’ll still titty fuck whats left of darstars flubber then move on to his grandmother and maybe after that i will move on to Amanda foro ld time sakes just for Shaler punk:bj: