# Welfare recipient

**URL:** <https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177>\
**Category:** PittSpeed Off Topic\
**Created:** [August 5, 2004, 10:13am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177 "2004-08-05T10:13:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![slowcamaro](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/slowcamaro/32/5975_2.png) [@slowcamaro](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/slowcamaro)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:13am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/1 "2004-08-05T10:13:50Z")

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A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, “Hi…You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter says, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac, playboy playmate daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he’ll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You’ll have a two bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy says, “You’re bullshitting me!”

The social worker says, “Yeah, well, you started it.”

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**Author:** ![77rednecktruck](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/77rednecktruck/32/5966_2.png) [@77rednecktruck](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/77rednecktruck)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:15am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/2 "2004-08-05T10:15:58Z")

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😃

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**Author:** ![Pewter](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pewter/32/5936_2.png) [@Pewter](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pewter)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/3 "2004-08-05T10:29:39Z")

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> [@2kaltima](#):
>
> 😃

:hitit:

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**Author:** ![Shaggy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shaggy/32/5945_2.png) [@Shaggy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shaggy)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:36am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/4 "2004-08-05T10:36:33Z")

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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

Polaroids.

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**Author:** ![Shaggy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shaggy/32/5945_2.png) [@Shaggy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shaggy)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/5 "2004-08-05T10:38:09Z")

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He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

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**Author:** ![Shaggy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shaggy/32/5945_2.png) [@Shaggy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shaggy)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:49am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/6 "2004-08-05T10:49:02Z")

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It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

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**Author:** ![Shaggy](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/shaggy/32/5945_2.png) [@Shaggy](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Shaggy)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:51am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/welfare-recipient/168177/7 "2004-08-05T10:51:34Z")

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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.