# Why I Fired My Secretary
**URL:** https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic
**Created:** [September 23, 2008, 7:17am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351 "2008-09-23T07:17:04Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@SpenceSpeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SpenceSpeed)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:17am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/1 "2008-09-23T07:17:04Z")
Last week was my birthday. That morning I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday’.
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… surely they will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, ‘Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!’ It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, it’s so beautiful outside today, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.’
I said, ‘Thanks, Jane, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’
We went to lunch, but we didn’t go where we normally would go. Instead, she chose a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day…We don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we ?’
I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind ?’
She said, ‘Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.’
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ‘If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’
‘Ok.’ I nervously replied…
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake … Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’…
And I just sat there…
On the couch…
naked…
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### Author:  [@Eazy716](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Eazy716)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/2 "2008-09-23T07:19:20Z")
R
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### Author:  [@turbo\_ls1\_ss](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/turbo_ls1_ss)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:19am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/3 "2008-09-23T07:19:46Z")
hehe
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### Author:  [@chino](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/chino)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:22am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/4 "2008-09-23T07:22:49Z")
lol niiiice
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### Author:  [@Paulo](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Paulo)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/5 "2008-09-23T07:24:37Z")
hahhahah. awesome dude.
9/10 :tup:'s
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### Author:  [@Afrank45](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Afrank45)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:27am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/6 "2008-09-23T07:27:12Z")
loller
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### Author:  [@JayS](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JayS)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/7 "2008-09-23T07:29:58Z")
Heard it before but it still made me laugh.
:tup:
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### Author:  [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:33am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/8 "2008-09-23T07:33:06Z")
:lol:
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### Author:  [@Adictd2b00st](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Adictd2b00st)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:44am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/9 "2008-09-23T07:44:21Z")
🤣 awesome
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### Author:  [@cougarspeed](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cougarspeed)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 7:48am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/10 "2008-09-23T07:48:02Z")
HAHAHA solid
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### Author:  [@ultradriver10000](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ultradriver10000)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:36am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/11 "2008-09-23T08:36:11Z")
lol!!!
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### Author:  [@Mr\_T](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Mr_T)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/12 "2008-09-23T08:38:30Z")
hahahah
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### Author:  [@Jon](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jon)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:38am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/13 "2008-09-23T08:38:59Z")
lol!
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### Author:  [@jt76](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/jt76)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/14 "2008-09-23T08:39:27Z")
I :lol: 'd
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### Author:  [@ryanmcell](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ryanmcell)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:40am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/15 "2008-09-23T08:40:02Z")
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAH awesome!!
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### Author:  [@LUKE\_L](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/LUKE_L)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:48am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/16 "2008-09-23T08:48:52Z")
I have heard this before but totally forgot about it…the classics never get old.
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### Author:  [@Smaefer](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Smaefer)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/17 "2008-09-23T08:54:16Z")
lolz\* never heard that one…
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### Author:  [@Jim1234664](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Jim1234664)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 8:54am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/18 "2008-09-23T08:54:57Z")
lol I laugh at this and the thought of someone writing it
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### Author:  [@38stang](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/38stang)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 9:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/19 "2008-09-23T09:00:02Z")
awesome
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### Author:  [@94excivic](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/94excivic)
#### Post date: [September 23, 2008, 9:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/why-i-fired-my-secretary/55351/20 "2008-09-23T09:01:56Z")
lmao
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