# Woman = pwned **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [June 30, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999 "2006-06-30T05:37:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SkunkApe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/skunkape/32/7575_2.png) [@SkunkApe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SkunkApe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/1 "2006-06-30T05:37:38Z")
Funny story… got this from another forum * * * One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!” So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.” We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?” I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?” Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either…but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her. ---
**Author:** ![AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AlbinoMonkeyRat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/2 "2006-06-30T05:53:50Z")
baaahahahaha…classic! ---
**Author:** ![MaximaSE98](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/maximase98/32/7600_2.png) [@MaximaSE98](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/MaximaSE98)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 5:56am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/3 "2006-06-30T05:56:59Z")
haaaaaaaaaaaaaa ROFLZ ---
**Author:** ![87FOXGT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ecd19e/32.png) [@87FOXGT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/87FOXGT)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 5:59am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/4 "2006-06-30T05:59:00Z")
lol quality :tup: ---
**Author:** ![Tunerfreak](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/tunerfreak/32/7427_2.png) [@Tunerfreak](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Tunerfreak)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:06am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/5 "2006-06-30T06:06:16Z")
u guys never heard that one b4 its been around for a while ---
**Author:** ![SkunkApe](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/skunkape/32/7575_2.png) [@SkunkApe](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SkunkApe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/6 "2006-06-30T06:08:39Z")
^^ sorry Captain Internet… must have gotten by me at some point 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daddie](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/daddie/32/7621_2.png) [@Daddie](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Daddie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/7 "2006-06-30T06:37:41Z")
Holy shit, i think this is older than me. still good tho 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AlbinoMonkeyRat](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/AlbinoMonkeyRat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/8 "2006-06-30T06:39:13Z")
> [@Tunerfreak](#): > > u guys never heard that one b4 its been around for a while I did say “classic” ---
**Author:** ![TrueBlue](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/trueblue/32/7245_2.png) [@TrueBlue](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/TrueBlue)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/9 "2006-06-30T06:41:07Z")
ahahahaha! file under P for phucking phenomenial 😃 :lol: ---
**Author:** ![slipstreamxk1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slipstreamxk1](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/slipstreamxk1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:57am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/10 "2006-06-30T07:57:04Z")
haha thats great. ---
**Author:** ![RuBiCaNT](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/rubicant/32/7622_2.png) [@RuBiCaNT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RuBiCaNT)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 8:10am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/11 "2006-06-30T08:10:22Z")
Never heard that before, that’s fucking funny!! Nice job! ---
**Author:** ![OneFastMonkey](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/onefastmonkey/32/7241_2.png) [@OneFastMonkey](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/OneFastMonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 8:29am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/12 "2006-06-30T08:29:41Z")
Good post :tup: ---
**Author:** ![Justin](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/justin/32/7459_2.png) [@Justin](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Justin)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/13 "2006-06-30T08:31:57Z")
WOW, this is old. seen this ages ago. still funny. ---
**Author:** ![Freek](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/freek/32/7357_2.png) [@Freek](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Freek)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 8:34am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/14 "2006-06-30T08:34:10Z")
i’ve heard the story several times and it’s just as good every time ---
**Author:** ![Fry](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fry/32/7284_2.png) [@Fry](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Fry)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/15 "2006-06-30T10:37:16Z")
🤣 I love it! ---
**Author:** ![sureshot](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/sureshot/32/7578_2.png) [@sureshot](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/sureshot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:40am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/16 "2006-06-30T10:40:46Z")
hahahahahahahahahaha i like: ‘i think she was throwing me for a loop because she doesnt even play tennis’ ---
**Author:** ![zero\_assault](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/dfb087/32.png) [@zero\_assault](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/zero_assault)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 11:37am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/17 "2006-06-30T11:37:20Z")
haha excellent ---
**Author:** ![JaysGreenLX](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jaysgreenlx/32/7321_2.png) [@JaysGreenLX](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JaysGreenLX)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:22pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/18 "2006-06-30T12:22:55Z")
> [@Tunerfreak](#): > > u guys never heard that one b4 its been around for a while Sounds familiar ---
**Author:** ![JEG](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/jeg/32/7246_2.png) [@JEG](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/JEG)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/19 "2006-06-30T12:42:42Z")
:lol: thats awsome lol. ---
**Author:** ![focusinprogress](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/focusinprogress/32/7227_2.png) [@focusinprogress](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/focusinprogress)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:45pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999/20 "2006-06-30T12:45:25Z")
fuckin awesome [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/woman-pwned/13999.md?page=2)