# Women ARE Crazy... HAH!

**URL:** <https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111>\
**Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\
**Created:** [June 19, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111 "2005-06-19T19:44:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![RuBiCaNT](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/rubicant/32/7622_2.png) [@RuBiCaNT](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/RuBiCaNT)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/1 "2005-06-19T19:44:10Z")

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I found this on another forum…

"I had this sent to me by a buddy. To me it was fucking hilarious some may not see it like that but I thought most of you would enjoy this.

Take note, the guy ‘Johny’ hasnt heard or seen this girl in 3 years and all of a sudden he gets this email.

Friends, Some of you may remember by ex-girlfriend Sarah. I recently  
recieved a letter from her. I would appreciate it if you would take the  
time to read it and review my response. I hope all of you are well.

May 23, 2005

Dear Johny:

I have had a difficult time, over the past few years,  
achieving closure of our relationship. It is time for me to seek this.  
I have gone through the appropriate stages of anger, remorse, sadness.  
It is now time for me to close this chapter of my life.

I am trying to recapture my life and gain a sense of identity  
back. In my professional life I have done this, but my personal life  
struggles. For so long I/We were “Sarah and Johny”, that it is hard to  
gain my own identity back. I am not worried about my career; I will  
soon succeed even my wildest dreams. I am just stunted by my personal  
life.

I am ready to release you from my life. I also on a weekly  
basis encounter people who want to tell me about you or have a  
discussion about you. I do not want to deal with this anymore. I do  
have a proposal on how to handle this

I am ready to no longer be forced to deal with your presence.  
As to how to deal with it, I propose the following:

1. I’ve heard you have an apartment on the West side. You need to  
move out of the West side of Indianapolis, this has always been my side  
of town, I own a house here, and do not rent like you. I grew up here,  
and always want to live here. I would prefer if you were to leave  
Indianapolis all together, but I know this is more than I can ask. I do  
not want to risk running into you at any store.

2. We should officially divide our friends. Particularly Jim,  
Jillian, Amy, and Ed. You should write them, thanking them for the  
opportunity to be their friend and explain why you can no longer be in  
contact with them. I can provide you with addresses, if you need.

3. I will stay out of Republican politics. I promise not to get  
involved with any Republican politics, unless my father runs for judge,  
and than I reserve the right to work on his campaign.

4. I would like you to not have anything to do with all things  
Cathedral. I feel I should have ownership of the school since my mother  
works there and my brother and sisters went there. You are more tied to  
Wabash. This should be where you dedicate your alumni status. I will  
be involved in Cathedral. When the time of reunions comes up, I am  
willing to say that you can have the reunions ending in “0” years and I  
will take the"5" years. So you can have 10 years and I will take 25  
years.

5. I will avoid Wabash contacts. The few guys from the house I  
still speak to on a rare basis, I will not. I will also discourage any  
male offspring I have from attending Wabash.

I know some of these things seem a bit harsh, but I feel they are for  
the best. I do not ever really wish to see you again. I know that this  
will of course happen beyond my control, but I think we should do our  
best to avoid what we can.

It is my sincere hope that you understand, and do take the time to  
respond. This is my last request of you.

With fondness,

Sarah

* * *

May 31, 2005

Dear Sarah,

Thanks for your letter. We broke up 3 years ago. Knowing that and  
taking into consideration you believe me to be a cold, career focused,  
ego-maniac, what on earth makes you think I would take the time to think  
about you or agree to your proposal? But since I clearly have taken the  
time to respond, please take a moment to review some comments and  
counterproposals I have crafted.

1. First, I will have to resist the burning urge to move RIGHT  
NEXT DOOR TO YOU. After that deep desire subsides, I will vacate the  
Westside and return to my roots: The Snooty Northside, as you used to  
call it. However, since I was born on the Northside and I have  
Northside in my veins you must abdicate all ties to the North. This  
includes: Living on the Northside, living on the Northeastside, walking  
down North Street, being a fan of the Dallas Stars (formerly the  
Minnesota North Stars), weari ng North Face apparel or telling your  
children that Santa lives at the North Pole. 1 (B). I was born in  
Indianapolis before you were so I should really get to determine who  
stays and who goes. In my benevolence I will let you exist here only  
within the St. Michael’s Parish boundary (MLK Dr. to High School Rd. and  
56th Street to 10th St.) We will call this the SarahZone. This should  
be acceptable for you as your family lives across the street and there  
is a gas station, grocery, convenience store, your place of employment  
and a fire station. Exceptions can be made with my expressed written  
consent. You will be required to display a large tag in your windshield  
giving you permission to travel beyond the SarahZone.

2. I haven’t talked to your friends since we broke up. I think  
they got the message. However since we apparently are still in fourth  
grade, please have your friends meet me by the playground at recess so  
that I can tell them they have big fat heads and they aren’t my friends  
anymore. Do you agree? \_\_\_\_\_\_\_Yes \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_No \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Maybe 2 (B).  
One of the few times you let us do something fun, we visited some of my  
family friends on Geist. It was about eight years ago. We enjoyed  
their boat and home for several hours during a pre-500 party. Please  
jot them a note saying you are going to forget that ever happened.  
Please also offer to reimburse them for the boat gas, pool chlorine, air  
conditioning Freon, Dr. Pepper and anything else you consumed while you  
were there. I don’t have their address anymore, you can look it up.

3. Please let me know when your father runs for anything. I’m  
going to run against him. 3 (B). Thanks for staying out of Republican  
politics. Your heavyweight presence in the party will be sorely missed.  
I am very involved in ice hockey. I play recreationally and coach a  
youth team in the winter. I would prefer it if you could stop being  
involved in all things related to ice and ice hockey . You can use  
those instant first aid coldpaks to cool your drinks from now on. Also,  
my parents have been very involved with the Indianapolis 500 Festival  
for nearly 20 years. The month of May is really a big month for us.  
While I am not able to honor your request of moving out of Indianapolis,  
I would ask that you just leave town during May. With 250,000 fans  
going to the race and 35,000 runners in the Mini-Marathon, I don’t want  
to run the risk of bumping into you. I know your birthday is in May,  
but man, I just don’t care.

4. Christ, I don’t have the energy for this one.

5. If any of my friends from Wabash actually still talk to you,  
they are fucking fired as friends. 5 (B). I’m not going to tell my kids  
anything about you. But speaking of kids, it would be okay with me if  
my son was a crack addict, just as long as he got your kids hooked on it  
and became their dealer.

In closing, I will never make decisions about my life or my family  
based on whether I might run into you at the store. I am now convinced  
that if we ever do bump into each other, you will spontaneously combust.  
I wish you the best of luck find a spouse. Seriously. It won’t be  
easy to find a person who is willing to spend the rest of his life  
raising children and making decisions based on your crazy-ass proposal  
to an ex-boyfriend and your inability to act like a rational human  
being.

All my best,

Johny"

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**Author:** ![ly555is](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@ly555is](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ly555is)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/2 "2005-06-19T19:58:40Z")

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ooh, that’s good - actually sounds kind of real :eek:

this is the :eek: smilie? that sucker looks pretty fucked up, the hell’s up with that thing :eek: looks like he got the shocker while watching his mom get the shocker

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**Author:** ![El\_Pistolero](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/el_pistolero/32/7571_2.png) [@El\_Pistolero](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/El_Pistolero)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/3 "2005-06-20T05:39:25Z")

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If that’s real that’s a new level of crazy. The letter from the girl was the most egocentric thing I think i’ve ever read. Jesus, i’d be scared if I was the dude. Girl’s got some issues…

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**Author:** ![newman](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/newman/32/7569_2.png) [@newman](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/newman)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/4 "2005-06-20T05:41:12Z")

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i know people like that… they used to be in my sig… :snky:

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**Author:** ![HotRodKid](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/hotrodkid/32/7609_2.png) [@HotRodKid](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/HotRodKid)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/5 "2005-06-23T00:14:33Z")

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the relationship ened years ago and she still has THAT MUCH BAGGAGE ???

ib4SomeoneGetsTiredOfHerShit and givers her a lacy peterson

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**Author:** ![system](https://canada1.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/uploads/speedlife/original/2X/b/b7170c8eddc0b95ece6b88172b2f416a08489a45.png) [@system](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/system)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 10:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/6 "2005-06-23T10:07:55Z")

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WOW…!!! talk about holding on…

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**Author:** ![notch-dc5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/919ad9/32.png) [@notch-dc5](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/notch-dc5)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 11:17am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/7 "2005-06-23T11:17:40Z")

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man that bitch is psycho, i would have dumped her to… women never cease to amaze me!

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**Author:** ![torque77](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/torque77/32/7601_2.png) [@torque77](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/torque77)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 6:20am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/8 "2005-06-24T06:20:46Z")

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that bitch is crazier than my ex. and i thought i had taken the cake. jeez…

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**Author:** ![layzie](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/layzie/32/7599_2.png) [@layzie](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/layzie)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:41am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/9 "2005-06-24T08:41:51Z")

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this story gets funnier everytime i read it

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nytmair](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/nytmair/32/7604_2.png) [@Nytmair](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Nytmair)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:01am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/10 "2005-06-24T09:01:05Z")

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crazyness

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![funkylemons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@funkylemons](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/funkylemons)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/11 "2005-06-25T12:20:08Z")

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as long as humans exist, the stories about psycotic women will continue…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Pass\_McGass](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/pass_mcgass/32/7616_2.png) [@Pass\_McGass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Pass_McGass)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/women-are-crazy-hah/111/12 "2005-06-25T13:03:00Z")

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> [@RuBiCaNT](#):
>
> 1. If any of my friends from Wabash actually still talk to you,  
> they are fucking fired as friends. 5 (B). I’m not going to tell my kids  
> anything about you. But speaking of kids, it would be okay with me if  
> my son was a crack addict, just as long as he got your kids hooked on it  
> and became their dealer.

lolol