# www.textsfromlastnight.com ftw **URL:** \ **Category:** NYSpeed Off Topic\ **Created:** [April 24, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730 "2009-04-24T14:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 11:50am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/101 "2009-05-18T11:50:49Z")
(608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Russian](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/the_russian/32/7414_2.png) [@The\_Russian](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/The_Russian)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/102 "2009-05-18T12:19:10Z")
(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you’re making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. ---
**Author:** ![LUKE\_L](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/luke_l/32/7462_2.png) [@LUKE\_L](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/LUKE_L)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 12:28pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/103 "2009-05-18T12:28:30Z")
> [@The\_Russian](#): > > (608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. > (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. Haha…i’m dying. Some of these are good. Most of them are Meh. Witnessed this one at a bar… (716): Dude, that chick you where banging last week just told me she has had the HIV for like three years… (1-716): WTF, that bitch told me she was clean. (716): Don’t worry. I just saved a bunch on money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO. Haha. (1-716): Fuck U. ---
**Author:** ![FabesVW](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/fabesvw/32/5345_2.png) [@FabesVW](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/FabesVW)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:16am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/104 "2009-05-20T09:16:15Z")
(310): he wants to bone in the snuggie ---
**Author:** ![SVTdriver](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/svtdriver/32/4956_2.png) [@SVTdriver](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/SVTdriver)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:30am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/105 "2009-05-20T09:30:45Z")
i got this last night. its too good not to share (716): i cant get pregnant, i already am, so technically, you dont even gotta pull out ---
**Author:** ![boardjnky4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@boardjnky4](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boardjnky4)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/106 "2009-05-28T12:39:09Z")
(971): I have two black x marks on my hands. (503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly ‘I can see your soul from here’ (971): damnit I wish I could remember that. ---
**Author:** ![Paulo](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/paulo/32/7328_2.png) [@Paulo](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Paulo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/107 "2009-05-28T13:12:16Z")
HAHAHAHAHA. ---
**Author:** ![Eazy716](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/eazy716/32/7443_2.png) [@Eazy716](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Eazy716)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 1:15pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/108 "2009-05-28T13:15:43Z")
(773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they’re getting laid at a bar? (773): it’s more of a rinse. (602): 69 |D\_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it’s a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" :lol: ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 12:20pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/109 "2009-07-07T12:20:34Z")
(617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. rofffffffffs ---
**Author:** ![Eazy716](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/eazy716/32/7443_2.png) [@Eazy716](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Eazy716)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 12:26pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/110 "2009-07-07T12:26:30Z")
(678): yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that’ll show her. 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![cobraman04](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/cobraman04/32/4963_2.png) [@cobraman04](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/cobraman04)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/111 "2009-07-07T14:17:30Z")
(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they’ll never admit its mine lol ---
**Author:** ![ultradriver10000](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ultradriver10000/32/7397_2.png) [@ultradriver10000](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ultradriver10000)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/112 "2009-07-07T20:29:46Z")
(907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. yup ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 1:33pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/113 "2009-07-09T13:33:48Z")
OMGLOL (337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. ---
**Author:** ![boostedhatch](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/boostedhatch/32/5327_2.png) [@boostedhatch](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/boostedhatch)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/114 "2009-07-09T16:29:35Z")
mcdonalds breakfast is gross ---
**Author:** ![ryanmcell](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/ryanmcell/32/7510_2.png) [@ryanmcell](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/ryanmcell)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/115 "2009-07-09T17:30:28Z")
(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him ---
**Author:** ![Geehee](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/geehee/32/7238_2.png) [@Geehee](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Geehee)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 10:09am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/116 "2009-09-18T10:09:37Z")
(715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i’ve never seen before passed out in my shower. ---
**Author:** ![Willybeen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/willybeen/32/7351_2.png) [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 10:00am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/117 "2009-10-03T10:00:12Z")
(952): Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me (541): its time to go be “that drunk guy nobody knows”…again. lol. ---
**Author:** ![Willybeen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/willybeen/32/7351_2.png) [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/118 "2009-10-03T10:07:18Z")
(404): i hope kanye doesn’t show up to patrick swayze’s funeral. " i’ll let you get back to your funeral in a minute…but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". lol EDIT; more gold (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I’m sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean u can’t score ---
**Author:** ![66impalass](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/66impalass/32/7429_2.png) [@66impalass](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/66impalass)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 10:46am UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/119 "2009-10-03T10:46:28Z")
> [@Willybeen](#): > > (404): i hope kanye doesn’t show up to patrick swayze’s funeral. " i’ll let you get back to your funeral in a minute…but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". > > lol internet Meme repost > (843): the red head has a bf > (1-843): just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean u can’t score Repost ---
**Author:** ![Willybeen](https://yyz2.discourse-cdn.com/flex034/user_avatar/forums.speedlife.net/willybeen/32/7351_2.png) [@Willybeen](https://forums.speedlife.net/u/Willybeen)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 12:07pm UTC](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730/120 "2009-10-03T12:07:38Z")
well shit. shows how much i read this thread. [Previous page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730.md?page=5) [Next page](https://forums.speedlife.net/t/www-textsfromlastnight-com-ftw/66730.md?page=7)