Jeff Foxworthy on Pennsylvania:
If you consider it a sport to sit in a treestand all
day long with a bow or a gun just to put food in your
freezer… you might live in
Pennsylvania.
If you’re proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights each year because Bradford is the
coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Pennsylvania
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March, you might live in Pennsylvania.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in
Pennsylvania.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don’t work there, you might live in Pennsylvania.
cause you’re all so damn friendly.
If you have worn shorts, sunglasses and a parka at the
same time, you might live in Pennsylvania.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
or if you are in church and your priest or minister
asks you to pray for the STEELERS,
And wants to get you all home for 1 p. m. kickoff you
might live in Pennsylvania.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Pennsylvania.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian when:
-
“Vacation” means going up north past I-80 for the
weekend. -
You measure distance in hours.
-
You know several people who have hit a deer more
than once. -
You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same
day and back again. -
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard, without flinching. -
You see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings). -
You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave all the doors unlocked. -
You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them. -
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over
a snowsuit. -
Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow. -
You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still
winter and road construction. -
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
-
Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete
statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. -
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking
age. -
Down South to you means MORGANTOWN W V.
-
You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.”
-
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW
FORD F150. -
You go out to fish fry every Friday and bingo
every Wednesday. -
Your 4TH of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost. -
You have more miles on your snow blower than your
car. -
You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all your Pennsylvania friends.!