hahahaha
OK
We had a wedding on Saturday. One of my oldest drinking grilfriends. Don doesn’t know her very well so I was worried he would be bored. And I don’t hang with her too much anymore, so I don’t know alot of her new friends and stuff. But he runns into one of his motorcross friends and procedes to start drinking beer. Keep in mind that Eurodad rarely drinks… mostly because he needs to drive me home. Buut he started drinking… and drinking … and drinking. I would also like to point that he drinks like he eats… very fast. So he is slamming beer after beer after beer. They go thru a couple of pitchers. Then the bar runs out of beer so Eurodad, started to feel drunk, decided there are plenty of half full beers laying around… I’ll start drinking those.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I did not kiss him after he started this behavior. But he did proceed to ask me if he was getting any later… the answer was no already.
Back to the story…
So we get into a discussion about who is driving home, I’m telling him to give me the keys because he is not driving. (I had switched to diet pepsi as soon as he drank his first beer.) He says, " I’m fine. I can drive fine. I have to pee." Then proceeds to get up from teh table and stumble into the bathroom, holding onto the walls as he walks in the bathroom door.
On his way back to the table, he bumps every table along the way. Then I finally get the keys off of him, he decides in the parking lot of teh hall that he needs to check the oil on TB. He is standing in front of the TB trying to unlatch the hood that was not popped. So I asked him what he was doing. He says, " mmmmmmmm need to check the oil." I said, " ok honey, but maybe not right now. Get in the truck." He asked me again if he was getting laid. NO!
So then we are driving home and keep in mind we are literally 5 minutes from home and he says… “I think I’m getting drunk.” And I’m thinking… GETTING!!! You’re already drunk and only going to be getting worse at the rate you were drinking. So we change our clothes and go to the Sheraton.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The Sheraton is , obviously a hotel, but a little bit more up class than Dino’s or Sharky’s.
Back to the story…
I made a horrible mistake at this point in not inspecting him before we walked out the door. We pull into the Sheraton and I look over at him, only to realize he had his “Got MILF” shirt on with his Superman hat. I didn’t know what to do… so I decided… fuck it… he can look like that if he wants. So as we are walking thru this very crowded bar… people are pointing and looking.
Then he decides he wants another beer. So I order him a beer, he drinks half of it and decides he’s had enough and wants to go home. So we leave after about 15 minutes and go to get the kids at grandmas. The entire ride there he is camplining that I am making the TB bounce too much and I’m taking the turns too quick, blah, blah, blah. But in reality, I am actually driving a little slow because I don’t want puke all over my Bus. So we get to his Mom’s and he thinks it’s agood time to take a nap in her yard. But fortunately he realized how wet the grass was.
So we get back in teh BUs with the baby. He decides to ride in teh back with her because we left the boys at his moms and he didn’t want her to be all alone in the back. Then continues to tellme I am driving to fast and i’m hitting the bumps on purpose. Also askes me again if he is getting laid. This time I ignore him.
So we pull into the driveway. He says, “Can you carry her in?” I say “yes”. He takes teh keys and heads for the door. I am surpirsed that he actually opened the door ok. I go in the house and he is out of sight already. I’m thinking “cool”. He must be sobering up. Maybe I will get laid tonight after all. So I take the baby upstairs and put her in bed and then go to our room and there it is! Eurodad in his underwear on his belly sprawled across the bed.
Guess I’m not getting laid tonight !!!