dear diary…
JACKPOT
im loling at work so loud everyone is looking at me…
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, ‘Oooooo.’
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland’s house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Stewie: Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch.
Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I’m expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.
i mean i understand most of us have seen countless episodes of family guy and definately remember word for word some quotes
but i think a majority of these postings came from that huge family guy quote website
not taking anything away from anyone, because when u read the quotes you are just like “lol i remember that, hahahaha” etc
either way, mad funny quotes :tup:
la grille? wtf is la grille
sticky
“I NEED AN ADULT, I NEED AN ADULT”
“Sir, you can’t park your van here…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lois this ins’t my Batman glass!”
what are you doing with my star wars mug
Peter: “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it.”
Quaqmire: “Butter’s in the fridge!”
Newscaster - "now here’s tom with our blackuweather forecast.
(cuts to black dude in front of a map) “IT GON RAIN!!!”
LOLLLLLLLLL (to the last one) holy shit i forgot all about that one
EDIT: i do however always like how they cite their asian reporter constantly prefaced as ‘our asian reporter ____________’
mine came dierectly from the ole noggin. link me to the webiste
Peter: Anyone who wouldnt put Gumble 2 Gumble back on the air is a racist. There I said it
Brian: But youve never really had good luck telling jokes
Peter: Ok ok ok, how many dirty stinken apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One dirty stinken ape to screw in the lightbulb and Two dirty stinken apes to throw feces at each other.
“Crafty mexicans and your glass candy!”
vagina junction, what’s your function?
- taking in sperm and spittin out babies
stewie: oh look is serocis the wounder dog.
Brian: (pukes) im not drunk i just have a stomach virus…(falls off stool) and an inner ear infection.
Chris: (looking at a twinkie) hahahaha im gonna turn you into poo (eats twinkie)
Peter: i bet i can walk up to any of these guys and say “hey, arnt you richard simmons?”
Cleavland: now peter thats just crazy talk
Peter: hey aren’t you richard simmons…and arnt u richard simmons’ brother…richard simmons hehehehehehe.
“Hey Lois, nice hooters!”
Louis: Typical male fantasy. Women drinking beer, pssh I bet you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Oh course a man made the commercial, its a commercial louis not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.