granted but shrinkage rules dont apply
I wish I still had the L
i grant you the L
i wish i could eat my pizza thats in the oven
granted, but not surprisingly it becomes very uncomfortable as the oven rack brands your skin and the still scalding hot pizza scorches your insides.
I wish I could eat a hotdog from Teds
Granted, you now have the shits for 2 weeks straight.
I will I could get a massage at my desk every day, all day.
Granted it is acupuncture and its being done by a n00b
I wish I had more sales
this was fun 3 years ago…
Granted, you are now one of those idiot college kid door to door salesmen that try to sell me
kid friendly encyclopedias. You are working to wards some useless and non memorable undergrad degree.You use the excuse that the internet can not be trusted and that it’s easier to look up information in books. You also suck at receiving sarcasm to wards shitty door to door encyclopedia salesmen with zero understanding of kids.
I wish I was a 9 and not a 6.
Granted. But now you will spend the rest of your day’s boning 6’s. Ewww.
I wish it was 5:30 so I can start my weekend.
Granted but it’s 5:30 on the day of the apocolypse.
I wish I wasn’t all gross and sweaty in class.
Granted. You’re naked in class.
I wish my office windows didn’t creak really loudly when it’s windy.
Granted, I smashed the glass out of your window so it no longer creeks. Don’t mind the breeze.
I wish my beat ass a4 was a brand new s4. kthnxbye
Granted. Enjoy the S4, and the repair bills. muahahahaha
I wish I didn’t have to drive 4 hours to DC tomorrow. Then back on Sunday.
Granted. But now you have to drive 8 hours to Nashville Tennesee.
I wish I was still in Hawaii.
granted, your flying there and the flight home gets cancelled.
I wish the house I was trying to buy didnt switch from short sale to forclosure preceedings. FML
Granted but your house burnt down.
I wish I had a red pen that never ran out of ink.
Granted, instead you will get black ones and they will explode in your shirt pocket every day going forward.
I wish my new job starting in 2 weeks gives me some new motivation with my company.
Granted but your choice of employment relocated to Saudi Arabia. Enjoy your commute.
I wish forced over time was non existant.
Granted. You’re fired. lol
I wish I had a six pack of Sam Adams summer ale while I work.
Granted. It’s from 1997 and has been cycled from hot to cold daily.
I wish I had a few million invested that I could live off of instead of working.
Granted, but it’s dirty money and you’re forced to move to mexico and be on the run from the FBI for the rest of your life.
I wish that I could be eating an entire pizza right now.
edit: btw, I’m too slow for this lol
EDIT: me too!
GRANTED, it’s the guiness book of world records holder for largest pizza, and I will shoot you in the face if you don’t eat it all.
Mhhhh food, I wish I had a moes burrito wif QUESO.