I haden’t seen this before, thought it was pretty funny
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a
scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your
wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There’s definitely
a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and
personal circumstances. I’ll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
Ten beers in one night and you can’t drive home. Ten vaginas in
one night and you don’t want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA
If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested.
If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA
You normally don’t find old beer.One point to BEER
Too much beer and you’ll think you see flying saucers. Too much
vagina and you’ll think you’ve seen God. One point to VAGINA
Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties
is fun. One point to VAGINA
In most countries there’s a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA
If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.One point to BEER
You can always be sure if you’re the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
If you shake beer it’ll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER
With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER
You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER
Beer doesn’t have a mother One point to BEER
Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That’s it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience
none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER
Ahhhh beer I love you A many of drunken bets I have one because of you lol. dude, you cant tight rope walk from your house to your next door neighbours, ohh yeah i bet i can I bet you 50 bucks, ok your on
haha speaking of sending it as an email, my friend emailed me a few… (nothing about beer… but still a good laugh)
MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile… If u have sex 365 times a yr and u melted down all da condoms 2 make a tire what would u call it? a ****in goodyear! Sex is like playing spades. If u don’t have a good partner, u better have a good hand. Big Bad Wolf told lil red riding hood lift ur top so i can suck ur tits. no, she said while lifting her skirt, eat me like the ****in book says! A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. the cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat said, a wet pussy always makes a cock happy! Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
“Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through
ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.”
“After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.”
MALE PROCEDURE:
Drive up to the cash machine.
Put down your car window.
Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
Put window up.
Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Drive up to cash machine.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
Set parking brake, put the window down.
Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
Open car door to allow easier accessto machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
Insert card.
Re-insert card the right way.
Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
Enter PIN.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
Enter amount of cash required.
Check makeup in rear view mirror.
Retrieve cash and
receipt.
Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
Re-check makeup.
Drive forward 2 feet.
Reverse back to cash machine.
Retrieve card.
Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
Restart stalled engine and pull off.
Redial person on cell
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
Release Parking Brake.
SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH
AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
