2004 Darwin award winners!

This Year’s Nine Darwin Award Nominees are:
>
>Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
>An unidentified man, using a
>shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield,
>accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a
>hole in his gut.
>
>
>Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
>James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of
>Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police
>describe as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck
>on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the
>source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something,
>however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft!”
>
>
>Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
>Ken Charles Barger, 47,
>accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening
>to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the
>phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged
>when he drew it to his ear. (For whatever reason, residents of Southern
>states always seem to figure prominently among the Darwin nominees).
>
>
>Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
>Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
>safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a
>pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police
>spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
>Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the
>strength of the building’s windows to visiting law students.He
>previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength.
>
>
>Nominee No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service]:
>A terrible diet and a room
>with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was
>killed by his own gas emissions. There was no mark on his body, and an
>autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had
>consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things)
>It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died
>in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over
>his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn’t
>have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his nearly-airtight bedroom.
>According to the article, “He was a big man with a huge capacity for
>creating this deadly gas.” Three of the rescuers got sick, and one was
>hospitalized.
>
>
>Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]:
>Michael Anderson Godwin made
>News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting
>South Carolina’s electric chair on a murder conviction before having his
>sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in
>his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was
>electrocuted.
>(South Carolina entrants are always perennial favorites.)
>
>
>Nominee No. 7: [The Indianapolis Star]:
>A cigarette lighter may have
>triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a
>cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle-loader, was killed
>Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff’s
>investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents’ rural
>Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a
>54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using
>the lighter to look into the barrel when the gun powder ignited!
>
>
>Nominee No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
>A man cleaning a bird
>feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto
>suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was
>standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector
>D’Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. “It appears that the chair
>moved, and he went over the balcony,” Honer said. (Another Ontario
>entry… I wonder if people are moving there from the Maritime
>Provinces.)
>
>
>And the Winner Is !!!
>
>[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
>Two local men were injured when their
>pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State
>Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported
>the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des
>Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc
>after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole’s pickup
>truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight
>fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was
>not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullet from his pistol
>fit perfect into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon
>inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and
>the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After
>traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river,
>the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the
>testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and
>striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
>accident, but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his
>testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a
>broken clavicle and was treated and released.
>
>“Thank God we weren’t on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off,
>or we might both be dead,” stated Wallis.
>
>“I’ve been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this
>is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would admit how this
>accident happened,” said Snyder.
>
>Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole’s wife) asked how many
>frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck???
>
>(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure
>as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued
>that Poole DID, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)

lmao…

i thought myth busters proved the 22 in the fuse block shit is false.

holy shit

Those are old and I think most were proven false… still funny though… hahaha

there is a real darwin book of the year… just go to borders or something, actual newspaper articles and what have you

anything on the interweb is fake / chain letter BS

shot in the nuts = give up on life:sadwavey: